Completion Is Mine

There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart.  So you'd better learn the sound of it.  Otherwise, you'll never understand what it's saying.

 

~Sara Dessen

 JUST LISTEN

 

 

Since Christmas Day, I have been cloistered, unplanned.  I have had numerous hours for contemplation and wide spaces in time for writing, but my physical weakness curtails my desire.  I have slept more hours than actually awake, and I have had many a journey into the depths of my soul.    When I find myself actually awake, I use the idol time to translate the images, symbols, and teachers who have visited my slumbers. 

 

As I inventory myself, I find bits and pieces missing or out of place.  It is as though certain aspects of myself are not working quite as crisply as they had.  There is no time to loiter over a suspicious loss when magnificent doors have been thrown open into realms of  ancient past, current present, and the forever on going future.

 

There is great comfort in recalling the sound of the last piece of the puzzle sliding into place.  The "ah ha" moment when the entire world falls into peace, calm, love and order.  When all the senses align themselves opening the heart to embrace all that is ... and there is nothing but the presence of Divine Spirit intertwined in us all.

 

All else falls away and I feel transcended, a true light body; and yet I have gone no where.  I remain in the same place, surrounded by all that was there prior, but what is unnecessary turns translucent and shimmers away.  Sweet sounds of music tune my memories into revelations easily understood.  Completion is mine, and I am all I need to be.

 

down the rabbit hole...

 Not all those who wander are lost.

J.R.R. Tolkien

The Fellowship of the Ring

           

We should not  be surprised when Divine Spirit alters our immaculately prepared human agenda.  We have already felt the winds shift and the ground slant, but heedlessly we shuffle our feet in one direction and then the next, grasping for a deeper understanding of all that is.

For five days now, I have been thrashing in bed.  The diagnosis of a sinus infection is better than pneumonia, but either way, it has robbed me of my holidays.   I cannot eat as everything tastes decidedly disgusting. I cannot sleep as this racking cough rattles me to my core.  The fever spikes igniting colorful flames raging in my head leaving me disheveled and sweaty in my bed.  Then my skin turns to ice as my weary bones vibrate to the cadence of a violent rap.

Day blends into night and night into day.  I wait for the darkness to fade and cling to each  present moment.  I confuse my schedule for my meds and stumble from bath to bed.  I am in such a weakened state, my feet slip and I feel myself sliding down the rabbit hole.

I become a traveler to random times and places.   I gently slide into a variety of existences as though I have been present for years.  I understand the diversity between these cultures, and most importantly experience the deep kindness in the hearts of all people.  In and out I go as easily as changing channels on the television.   Although I experience both male and female genders and different ages, it is the heart of me remaining the same. 

When I grow stronger, I will joyfully write more of these experiences.  I realize  all of this has happened for great reason.  I have discovered  how to link my perceptions, insights, experiences and wisdom, closing the gaps in my faith, and completing what I have longed to understand.  I may have lost half of the holidays, but I have gained validation of eternity.