Paddling As Fast As We Can

   "paddling as fast as we can ..."

A friend of mine had been dealing with several stresses in her life, and I was concerned about her.  We agreed to meet for coffee and as I expected, my dear friend looked exhausted. 

I quietly listened as she shared her challenges with me and my respect for her grew greatly.  She had taken on measures above and beyond what had been called for making only one response, " I am so glad that I am in a position to help!"

I praised her efforts and supported her the best I could, but I also cautioned her about taking care of her self, finding balance so she wouldn't come undone.  She laughed and shared a conversation she had with her husband about how she looked like a duck calmly gliding across the water when in reality her feet were paddling 90 miles per hour.  It was such a great visual, we both found our selves laughing heartily.  Laughter is good for the soul!

This image of a calm gliding duck with bionic feet stayed with me throughout the day.  So many times when crisis hits, we go into some kind of automatic drive, taking charge, surging to the rescue as everyone else sighs in relief that control has been taken.  Unknown to them, under the surface, we are paddling  as fast as we can!  I believe it is referred to as an adrenaline rush.

It is admirable to help others, but not at the risk of our own health.  There is a fine line between helping and enabling.  It is not helpful to be invasive nor is it good to allow others to take advantage.  If we feel used, we need to step back and use our voice.  If we need to restore, we need to invite others to assist in our absence.  We must be able to recognize what is best for our selves, not just the people we help.

I was very impressed to learn that my most thoughtful friend had arrived on the scene, determined what she was willing to do and where she would draw the line.  Her intentions were clear, and she is now tending to her own needs.  I am proud of her!  Her little duck feet are on solid ground in slow motion.  In time her resilience will return! We do not always have the strength to keep healthy boundaries nor recognize our own limitations.