Master of Me

Stand still.  The tress ahead and bush beside you are not lost.

Albert Einstein

Wandering, in my own surroundings, the end of the year brought completion to the seen and the unseen, and has left me dying to my old self, and struggling to be born again into a passage with spiritual meaning.  Always in the present moment, forgiving and forgetting all of the past, while not venturing into a future, leaves me like a boat without a rudder. 

All of the time investing in meditation, to learn to be still, to be in the moment and here I am unescorted by any specific accomplishment, at least known to me.  Being still is calm, like a deer silently standing in the woods.  It is peaceful, like a great hawk floating with spread wings in a cloudless sky.

Compassion is still mine and my heart remains open.  I feel tender love for those in my life, and yet I am held in this lofty sense of being suspended in air.  I feel lofty with out a care in the world. 

I am comfortable without a charted course, but what if there is no course at all?  Am I simply marking time?  Am I waiting patiently for what has already passed?  Have I fulfilled my spiritual purpose and so now I am done?  Maybe I am a time keeper, simply a bookmark keeping a place in time. 

There is no pressing emotion for me, no crisis for me to resolve, no issues to be untangled, and although not removed, I am left just to be.   And so it is ... Master of me.