UNTIE THE STRONG WOMAN, Clarissa Pinkola Estes

"The older I become, the more I sense,

the less I speak, and the more I pray -

in ever so many ways."

"Our Lady, Shirt of Arrows

UNTIE THE STRONG WOMAN

Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Professionally, I have always been a strong woman and great advocate for those facing challenges.  My education and hands on experience prepared me for a satisfying career, but it took many years to develop equal strength in my personal life.  One would think being strong would seep over into all parts of life, but it just doesn't work that way.

Confidence and the ability to see into the motivations of others, prompted me to understand a woman, delve into her life, and come up with satisfactory guide lines for recovery.  This was not necessarily true for my self.  The dividing line between these two areas of my life has been self-worth.  I have a readiness to see value in others, but lack this ability, personally.   

As the years pass, I am no longer driven to save others.  Along the way, I learned that people need to tell their story, to have someone witness their peril, and to find their way.  Giving someone a resolution is less powerful than letting that person personally discover it with encouragement and support.

No longer do I dominate conversations unless I am caught up in passion.  It has become ever so apparent to me that listening to others is far more entertaining.  I already know my views inside and out, and if I am to grow in knowledge, I must be quietly prepared to embrace new.

The resilience of others is very amazing.  To share in their experience brings hope into my personal arena and the light begins to crack the darkness into pieces more easily to be handled.  As I conserve my words, my sense of others becomes vibrantly alive. At the end of the day, through meditation, energy work or prayer, my newly gathered insights are churned into wisdom and I no longer despair.

Morning Waits To Burst Into Light

"There is a morning inside of you

waiting to burst open 

into light."

Rumi

Morning is my favorite part of the day.  I have better focus and greater imagination in the early morning when all is quiet and not yet disturbed.  Please do not envision me scurrying around, running errands or attending to tasks.  The movement is all cerebral.  My mind fills with ideas and I quickly turn them into outlines or jot insights down in a journal.  There are rituals as the morning unfolds.  Candles to be lit, coffee to be made, and a few stretches to waken my physical body.  Reading favorite authors stimulate my desire to write, and it is too early for any negativity to have crept in.  Morning brings me freedom within stillness.  I imagine it is much like a hawk flying in the sky ... endless horizons, gentle breezes carrying whispers of truth, and a connection to all that is.  As I conjure up all things positive, I am aware that I am stoking the fire for the remainder of the day.  I am eager to build a fire that will slowly warm into a bright fire turning into a seasoned light to guide my way.  How I build my morning foundation determines how I will perceive the remainder of the day and the length of moment to moment living I can sustain.  

At the end of the day when I find myself spent, I patiently wait for the dreams of the night.  I will languish again in a peaceful freedom of beauty and heights rarely experienced in the unfolding day.   There are realms to be visited and languages to be heard, while categorizing the symbols needed to be understood.  

Gathering dream time experiences,  I return with my spirit entering into the morning bright. Once again I awaken and  there it is ....  a morning inside of me, waiting to burst open into the light.

Star Gazing and Moon Watching Create a Sense of Home

"We learn to look at the sky with a clear and silent mind;

we learn to look at ourselves with the same clarity and stillness."

Joseph Goldstein

Insight Meditation: The Practice of Freedom

As a child, I found myself constantly looking up at the sky.  Living in a big city in a neighborhood of apartment buildings, one would lie down on his or her back to watch the clouds float by.  I could entertain myself endlessly, only as a creative child could,  making figures out of the lofty white clouds.  Even in the night time, there was always such comfort of watching the moon slowly move across the sky.  The moon with a back drop of stars, mesmerized me.  At a young and impressionable age, I felt a definite presence with all things randomly arranged in the sky.

Over the years, I preserved my ability to get lost in the sky, allowing myself to feel exceptional comfort.  I really didn't have working knowledge of the phases of the moon or constellations, but I treasured the silent communication waiting for me every day or night of the year no matter where I was or where I traveled.  It was one of the few constants of my life.

In today's world, I am much more aware of the meanings of the stages of the moon and the importance it has had on cultures.  The moon was somewhat of a time keeper for peoples, and ironically it is exactly the opposite for me.  When staring at the stars, absorbed by the moon, I can be indefinitely suspended in time.  When I am wandering the sky, there is no sense of time.  There is only an overwhelming sense of comfort, the warmth of being home.

Daring Us To Live In Fear

"Extend loving kindness toward all beings throughout the

Universe.  You can start close to home and widen the circle

more and more.  'May all beings enjoy happiness and the

root of happiness.'"

Pema Chodron

THE PLACES THAT SCARE YOU

Violence seems to be cropping every where, daring us to live in fear.  Newspapers, television, social medias and social conversations are focusing on disruptions everywhere.  Granted, we need to be aware of these happenings, but we do not need to dwell in fear.  

If I am a happy person and focus on the beauty surrounding me, I can acknowledge disharmony through prayer, meditation or service.  If I share my happiness with other happy people, we can spread a sense of happiness to strangers around us.  If I find myself having fearful thoughts, which will happen, turn to creative expression to release it:  painting, singing, journaling or drawing,  Let the fear move out of you and not take up residence.

When I find myself feeling helpless, acknowledge it, and then let it go.  We cannot help how we feel, but we can and do choose our reaction to it.  Will we hold fear and let it overwhelm us, or will we choose to utilize prayers for peace, sending love across barriers, and positive thoughts to others who may be afraid.  We can balance our emotions through positive thoughts, uplifting conversations, and supportive reading.

I will fill myself with loving kindness.  I will offer loving kindness to all peoples.  I will recognize loving kindness everywhere.  I will 'be' loving kindness.

Conveyor Belt and Unnecessary Baggage

"We are what our thoughts have made us;

so take care about what you think.

Words are secondary. Thoughts live;

they travel far."

Swami Vivekananda

As the snow sifts through the arms of the tree, one is  reminded of  thoughts floating through our mind.  Some snowflakes stick to the branches, just like some negative thoughts linger in our brain.  Through practice, we can create a more efficient filter for our thoughts.  There is no need to retain negative remarks longer than high praise, but we do.  This of course is done through selective choice.  

If we, indeed, are making this choice, than we have control to change it.  We can imagine our thoughts on a conveyor belt moving through our minds.  We see them approaching, we see them front and center, and we watch them pass by.  By retaining a negative remark we minimize our worth and keep ourselves small.

In our lives, there are those who just can't get over themselves, constantly reminding us of their success, wealth, or happiness.  These people actually are insecure, attempting to mask their flaws.  Then there are the victims who are stuck in their tragic story, viewing everything through fear and doubt.  The people in between are the ones who are living in the moment, watching their thoughts travel down the conveyor belt.  These individuals are integrated, acknowledging personal weakness and balancing it with individual strengths.  This is to be human.  

So, please, let us choose our thoughts carefully.  Be diligent about remembering the 5 nice things friends said at lunch before dwelling on the one bad inference.  If we truly regard ourselves as worthy, we will not allow slights to interrupt our peace of mind.  Is the comment true?  If yes, then fix it.  If the comment is not true, let it go.  Move along, moment to moment encumbered by unnecessary  baggage.

The Power of Spirit

A BLESSING FOR YOUR FUTURE

by Debbie Ford

Divine Spirit

thank you for giving me the capacity for wholeness

Thank you for this very precious moment

A moment where I am present

to all the goodness that exists

inside and outside of me

A moment that inspires thoughts of a greater future

A future where I can love and be loved

where I can serve and be served

A future where I humbly and gracefully

contribute my soul's gifts to the world

A future that is filled with abundance and miracles

Today I open  my arms to the loving presence 

that will awaken me to my greatness 

and fill my future with surprises

I surrender my life and will

to the greatest power in the Universe

Today I accept my worth and my worthiness

And so it is

This writing by Debbie Ford was shared with me around the first of the year.  I have been savoring ever since, and finally decided to share.  These words reflect how I would want my every day life to be.  It is projecting a goal I want to absorb into my life.

I deeply believe I have the capacity for wholeness, as I have been carefully placing my pieces of life together for some time now.  I know how far I have come, and I sense the vast amount of possibilities awaiting me.  

To love ourselves is perhaps the greatest step we can make, as once we embrace who we are, flaws and all, we are willing to serve and be served.  As we focus on the good happening around us, the hope for opportunities becomes vibrant.  We attract kindred spirits and our confidence increases.

When we are finally through with judgment and criticism, we can respect our personal gifts and celebrate the gifts of others.  Together and one by one, we can awaken to the power of the spirit.

 

The Cross Fire

"Love is the only force capable 

of transforming our enemy 

into our friend."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Competitiveness is healthy just as diversity is inspiring.  In both, respect is necessary.   It is time to recognize a common thread running through all of us.  Not one of us wishes to be harmed, starved, or beaten.  Not one of us wishes to see our children tortured or crucified.  And every one of us believes God is on 'our' side.  

People are starving and children are being tortured, and it is beyond human reasoning for it to be tolerated on any soil.  We choose to  minimize, deny, and avoid.  The underlying factor is fear.  Until fear is replaced by compassion and a loving outreached hand, we will all be caught in the cross fire.

"Blessed be the peacemakers."

Extinction of Balance

"A balanced lifestyle is simply a state of being

in which one has time and energy of obligations and pleasures."

Madisyn Taylor

DAILY OM

It is ever so easy to be pulled off balance.  Exhausted, we take an unscheduled break only to rebound  immersing ourselves into all that now awaits.  Our lives become like a pendulum swinging back and forth between indulging in pleasure and work over load.  When we fall into exhaustion, it is rarely a pleasant excursion.  It is more like a total pass out, simply to restore our lapsed flow of energy.  When we awaken from our long winter's nap, we still have not indulged in any form of pleasure to restore our sense of creativity or passion.  We go directly back to work until we once again collapse into a deep sleep.

Ideally, we strive to maintain equal portions of dedication and self-care.  Preferably, we invest in our obligations, but not to the point of exhaustion.  While we still have a portion of energy remaining, we turn to pleasure to rejuvenate our sense of quality living.  

Inspiration can easily be missed when our brains are fried and our free time is spent sluggishly going through motions, longing for reprieve.  Unfortunately, we choose to meet our professional  needs prior to our personal, which leaves personal time vulnerable to daily extinction.  

If we do not wish to lose our vitality, we can arrange our schedules to include time for both work and play.  The time slots may not be of equal distribution, but to maintain some sense of balance, we must respect any available time just to be.  We must deliberately choose to honor our selves, even if it is just a few passing moments.  

We tell ourselves the story:  I must be dedicated, determined, and relentless to finish this project.  I cannot pause or I will lose my sense of direction or thread of invention.  I will work until I collapse when there is completion.

Balance:  I am dedicated, determined, and relentless to complete this project.  I will allow relaxing periods away from this work, so when I return I will have fresh insight and plenty of creative energy.  

The choice to have a balanced life style is the responsibility of every individual.  Get creative and determine ways to refresh in spite of commitments.  Just fifteen minutes of silent contemplation, yoga, reading or journaling at the beginning of the day can make all the difference in our world.

Potential To Wake You Up!

"Have a sense of gratitude to everything,

even difficult emotions,

because of their potential 

to wake you up.

Pema Chodron

Gratitude can be a fleeting thought or a lengthy response to all of the blessings in our life.  We are grateful for our health and families; friends and neighbors; mentors and professionals; and perhaps for our materialistic accumulations.  Rarely, are we grateful for difficult challenges or the emotional triggers accompanying them.

When we find ourselves charged by a situation, and take the time to trace our feelings to their origin, we will discover an issue waiting to be healed.  This is especially true when we are reacting to an issue not having any direct relationship to our life.

Around others, we may hear a person going off on a tangent.  On and on he goes, beating the subject to death, while we begin to wonder what it is that directly pertains to him.  The person may admit the incident being discussed has nothing to do with them personally, but he just feels like it is wrong.  If we would pursue where his feelings were coming from, what associations or memories he had, we would come across the trigger trying to wake him up!

It is when we are aware and living in the moment that these discoveries can be revealed.  Each time we experience the presence of deep emotions, explore their origin, and release them, we grow closer to our  authenticity. And for that, indeed, we can be deeply grateful!

Unwrap The Inner Packaging

"You must find the place inside of yourself

where nothing is impossible."

Deepak Chopra

During a conversation, a woman I revere encouraged me to: "Be the voice behind the voice; be the wisdom behind the wisdom; and to be the power behind the power."  I wrote these words down on paper, but they stayed in my head for quite some time.  

"Be the voice behind the voice ..."  

What does this really mean?  It seems to indicate an inner depth to me.  The automatic responses I hear within may simply be ego.  I then began to find many situations where I was not being authentic, only reciting words.  When I did remember to create a pause prior to speaking, I was amazed at how many times I felt no need to say anything at all.  

"Be the wisdom behind the wisdom ..."  

I thoroughly enjoy deep communication and learn from others when they share wisdom.  It is how I learn; however, as I began to be conscious of the words I spoke, I discovered that I was not always following my own advice.  It is one thing to know wisdom, and quite another to be wisdom.

"Be the power behind the power ..."

There are situations in my life where I feel quite powerful and I do not mean physically.  Unfortunately, there are just as many other areas where I know I have power, but I do not feel it deeply.  This contrast comes from thinking too small or from minimizing.  The responsibility to step into personal power can be life changing.

When I embraced these three statements, really accepted them as a part of me, my confidence soared. Each statement supports the sense that we have an inner voice, a higher self, or a spiritual spark deep inside.  We have a knowing perspective that is really drowned out when we are not being aware.  This inner self is the voice, wisdom and power.  They are part of our inner packaging and the packaging needs to be unwrapped!

Unexpected Finish Line

"The truth is that we need relationships, but we don't need every relationship.  Surround yourself with positive people who bring you up, rather than drag you down.  You don't have to sacrifice your sanity because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings.  You don't have to be controlled by your own kindness."   Women Who Run With The Moon

Relationships are the vehicle in which we learn to navigate through life.   Some rides are joyful, while others, not so much.   Determined, we try to keep the vehicle on the right road, and in the right lane without taking any wrong turns.  Yet, some just stop at an unexpected finish line.

Some relationships unfold quite naturally as though we have known each other endlessly.  Then there are those we strive to perfect, stretch to be more than who we really are, and they disintegrate before our very eyes. Blessed are those who remain treasured even though long spans of time interrupt.

We probably remember the relationships when we were discarded, but carry little memory of those we left on our own.  There are those we will never ever forget, and then those just so brief we have no  recollection at all.

In all relationships, whether business, social, private or casual, we too frequently overlook the ones that are not particularly supportive to us for one reason or another.  Perhaps we  cannot put our finger upon a definite reason to excuse ourselves, and so it goes on and on.  We fear we might hurt someones feelings so we remain stuck.

The most important relationship we have is to ourselves.  Unfortunately, we disrespect our own preferences and tolerate others to the point of harm.  It is important to acknowledge what is supporting us and what is not.  We need to end toxic relationships and  make room for new.

Intentions, Just For Today

"To stay present in everyday life,

it helps to be deeply rooted within yourself;

otherwise, the mind, which has incredible momentum,

will drag you along like a wild river."

Eckhart Tolle

Since the beginning of this year, I have done well with my intentions.  I have remained disciplined in my morning rituals  of reading, contemplating, and writing.  All three elements keep my body, mind, and spirit integrated.  Diligence has kept me within my routine to support my desire to stretch and grow.  Each day, I try to start anew.  I don't bring to mind what has caused me to give up in the past nor do I project how I will do in the future.  I remain within the boundaries of just today, This seems to increase my margin of fulfillment. 

When my days are not opened with my loosely planned rituals, it is too easy for me to fall off track.  If I am not rooted in my day through spiritual connection, my ego eagerly steps in and leads me asunder. It is when I am not cognizant of my intention,  random thoughts begin to  worm their way into my foundation.  Ego begins negative nagging. and if my mind is not filled with positive affirmations, I too easily fall prey to the motivations of others.  

Through Creative Visualization, I dig my roots deeply into Mother Earth and feel myself slip down into the earth; and  I stretch my arms up into the sky, reaching for spiritual connection.  Connected above and below, energy, love, and light course through my veins, restoring my body, mind, and soul.  

Just for today, I am being the best I can be towards myself and to others.  With loving kindness, my eyes will fall upon all living things, accepting we are all here for a reason.   When we each do our part, the result is collective in that we establish peace and eradicate illusion of separateness.  

End In Grace

"My head is bursting

with the joy 

of the unknown!"

Rumi

My mind over spills with creative quests, my spirit soars with anticipation, and my imagination is filled with visionary delights.  It is all possible, if I but follow through.  The organization is detailed in my head and supportive tales are safely stored.  My voice will carry ancient words dressed in fanciful emotions, while I step out of my own way, and let the presentation unfold.

Whether written or spoken, my words will be floating on Spirit's wings, directed at inner longings found only in the heart.  Touch you I will, as I have promised to do my part.  Step aside if you must, but I will carry on as there is only the now for me to unfold.  

Joy fills my breath to share unspoken words as they been held captive for too long.  They have been strung around my heart, pinned like lace along a careful hem, and stitched with remnants left by the old.  The momentum of my life has ushered me to this time and space, to do my part and end in grace.

The Personal Path of True Nature

"People will look for the key, the right method

that will get them enlightened.  They search for

the door to enlightenment, and not finding it,

they may give up."

Buddha

In earlier times, I remember experiencing great anticipation prior to attending a gathering around a Master or Teacher or Guru.  I had a deep desire to be awakened through attendance and being in the presence of someone greater than myself.  Admittedly, when one shares time and space with others and a spiritual leader, lessons are deepened and visions appear, but they still are supplements to our personal path of true nature.

When we seek the experiences of others, when we long to obtain the key to unlock the mystical door, we are not headed towards the heart of personal enlightenment.  The wisdom we seek already exists  inside  each of us, and we must travel the road that leads within.

I can be found in most any straggling line for attendance at a spiritual gathering, but my intention is to broaden my understanding and discern what resonates for me.  We must not be spoon fed deep beliefs, but rather experience them personally.  When we delve within our own nature, silence the mind, and remain in awareness, we travel the road towards our deepest yearning.

 

Lessons Uncensored, Journaling

"I was impressed with mom's tenacity.  How could

she keep writing  without an audience, not even

her family? She just did."

Diane Keaton

THEN AGAIN

Diane Keaton wrote a memoir about her mother who scribed incessantly and left little notes everywhere.  The book is entitled, THEN AGAIN.  It was gifted to me a few years back by two very dear young people.  This book was on my wish list as I have admired Diane Keaton for years.  In some ways, she has been a symbol to me ... independent, funny, personal style, and authenticity.  So I was quite surprised to be taken in by the character of her mother.

Diane Keaton's mom left numerous collages and journals all around her home and their unexpected surfacing constantly surprised her daughter.  The writings were filled with genuine reflection, joy, insight and pain.  At times Diane, as the reader, found the writings to be very raw and revealing.  

As a writer, I can easily understand the mother's passion for writing as an outlet where one can vent the ugly and the beautiful.  As a reader, our self-imposed images of the writer drastically fall to the side as we step into the intimacy of real life. The words joined together with tears and laughter, creates a rocky path to the heart of all things occurring inside of the individual.  There are no filters, just the truth as it is perceived. 

It was once written, if all the therapists were taken from the world, mental health could be maintained if everyone kept a daily journal.  So the value of the writing is not necessarily in the audience, but in the story being told.  As the reader, we are welcomed into a private world that we may or may not agree with nor understand.  The beauty of a personal journey is the selected words to best represent the passing of our lessons, uncensored.

Permission To Play For Renewal

AFFIRMATION:  "When I nurture and take care of myself, my creative ideas and abilities awaken more fully and I am

                             free to participate in more of the wonders and joyous experiences of life."

Sharon Taphorn

Angel Wisdom

During the holidays, I visited with a family who is dear to me.  The mother is nearing 100 years old and her loving nature has turned cantankerous.  I was more shocked at the daughter's appearance than that of the mother.  She was rail thin, emotionally depleted, and felt overwhelmed by the responsibility of her mother.  I could not help but ponder, "What happens when the caretaker does not take care of herself?"  

Why is it when it comes to self-nurture, women in particular worry about being selfish.  There is some element of martyrdom when a mom makes sure she is always last to the helpings.  A woman generally has a care taker's attitude to begin with, but when it becomes extended at a cost to herself, it is self-destruction.  

It is similar to ... 'what comes first the cart of the horse' ... if the caretaker is not well taken care of, how in the world will she give good care?  When we take maintain balanced self-care, we have more to offer others.  We have more endurance and patience than if we neglect our own needs.  It is at that point we become resentful, unappreciated, and angry.  

As we care for our families, extended families, neighbors or friends, we must first be receptive to help from others or from our very selves.  In addition to being receptive, we must also be willing to allow ourselves time to play for renewal of spirit.  When we remember to restore prior to becoming depleted, we will be a brighter light in our world.

Moving On With Love In Our Hearts

"In the softness of the heart lives the capacity to love.

Sadness is not the opposite of joy, but its gateway."

Jeff Foster

When we become immobilized by crippling emotional pain, we withdraw deeper within, hiding from fear and the possibility of more anguish.  Our skin grows thick and our hearts hard, and we vow to never let anyone  hurt us ever again.  We burrow into isolation, not fully realizing we can impair our own nature more deeply through these actions.

For growth, we need the sunshine and the rain.  We benefit from both elements, just as we grow through experiences of sadness and joy.  Without one, we would not fully experience the other.  It is a definite part of life to experience a wide range of emotional reactions.  It is going to happen.  The best preparation one can have is to accept emotions as unavoidable reality, and to maintain such deep love for the self and for others, that we will persevere.  This is not about condoning nor allowing negative behavior, but to maintain the ability to allow love to survive it all.

When I love my self deeply, it is easier to deflect judgments of others.  When I love others deeply in spite of their weaknesses, I can understand their actions have more to do with them and very little to do with me.  By having an attitude of love, we will be aware of the pain, but we will not get trapped in it.  When we experience joy more fully, and impact the lives of others around us through our radiance.  

So the bottom line truly isn't about what people 'do' to us, but how we 'react' to what comes our way.  Will we  complicate the situation by investing more negative energy or will we see the bigger picture, maintaining our own self-respect.  When we encounter sadness, we can remember it is simply a gateway to experience love in a broader way.  We can make the choice to back away, but moving on towards life with love in our hearts.

Discoveries In Personal Space

"In order to see birds,

it is necessary to become

part of the silence."

Robert Lynd

My education by itself was not enough to experience a successful career.  I needed to hone my skills in the presence of the families I served.  My mind was filled with sociological studies and psychological techniques, but as an in home comprehensive counselor, I quickly learned to begin within the family home.  To simply read a social history or a Children and Family Service in take inventory, I would not fully grasp the overall climate of the family nor the opinion of each family member. To open the door to family conflict, I decided to simply be a witness.  Instead of entering a home as the know it all court ordered counselor, I would sit the in the family's midst and quietly state, "Could you please tell me how you got involved with the system by starting at the very beginning?"  Only in this way could I begin to understand their version.  This would give me the baseline of where I needed to start with them in order to  help, rather than being on the outside telling them what they needed to do.  We became a team, not always successful, but graduating in small increments.

Anything we want to deeply connect with, whether it is in the field of art, music, language, travel or writing, we can complete classes, workshops, or trainings, but to truly connect one must begin with their own individual imprint.  This means we must know our material, but we must also have hands on experience.

As Robert Lynd states, "In order to see the birds, it is necessary to become part of the silence."  We can study nature or  join the Audubon Society, but still not truly 'see' the birds.  We need to blend into the entire experience.   We must join them in their abode and silently become a part of their surrounding. In their personal space is where we will truly experience their reality.

I find this to be true of most any learning situation.

Impact The Lives Of Others With Positive Energy

"The reality of thoughts and the power they have 

to create and change the world around us

brings with it a supremely important message:

we can bless and we can heal."

Alan Cohen

THE DRAGON DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE

Our positive energy impacts others through actions, thoughts, and intentions.  When we pray for someone, send love silently, or extend comfort to someone, we are using our positive energy.  There is great power in the ability to touch through intention.  

Here is one of my favorite stories by author Alan Cohen:

A friend of mine arrived early to work one day, and while waiting for the store owner to arrive to open up, he decided to silently send out thoughts of good will to each person who passed by him on the street.  After he was doing this for a a few minutes, a shabbily dressed man walked up to him and told him, "What you're doing with your mind is good."  

This story stays with me as it reflects how any ordinary person can just send love or light to total strangers to make a difference.  It also reinforces my understanding that many 'bums on the street' are actually Masters choosing to live a simple life just to arouse compassion in others.

This is not written to indoctrinate the reader.  It is written to encourage the reader to use the mind to send positive thoughts to any one present, distant, or no longer on this plane.  Whether any one notices or not, our love being sent out to others will impact our own lives as well as others.  

Fabric In Each Others Lives

"Be the silent watcher of your thoughts and behavior.

You are beneath the thinker.

You are the stillness beneath the mental noise.

You are the love and joy beneath the pain."

Eckhart Tolle

Deep within, I sit in quiet solitude, watching my life flicker across a screen.  I listen to careless remarks I make to others, and see my hands remain in pockets when they could be reaching out to others.  I watch my lovely self deny my pain as a forced smile slides across my face.  I feel my teeth gripping my tongue, refraining from speaking my truth in the face of falsehoods.  My eyes gaze into the horizon when I can no longer view what is right in front of me.  

The lack of depth astounds me, and not in a judgmental way.  So many lives are in denial as they are bound by ignorance and fear.  We is quickly reduced to me, and ripples of compassion and love are restrained behind walls of self survival.  Separation is sensed and isolation quickly follows.  

This tug of war between we and me  has very harsh outcomes ... physical, emotional and spiritual.  The we who prosper must engage with the individual me, requiring the little me to make improvements towards togetherness.  Our hands must reach out to each other whether they are filled with gifts or crippled by pain.  

The love and joy beneath the pain is me and discernment of my gifts will help to create the manner in which the we can be gathered.  When each individual me recognizes personal self-worth and the authentic worth in others, the we will be woven together.  We are the fabric in each others lives.

Random Experience and Diverse Substance

"Investigating that which is outside of our comfort zones

can help us better comprehend why we have

chosen to embrace ideologies important to us."

Madyson Taylor

Daily Om

Throughout my life, I have been introduced to thinking outside of the box; understanding that prejudice takes many shapes and colors; the need to treat diversity with respect; and to think through my heart rather than my educated brain.  In my life, I did not turn my head and avoid  what was not in my comfort zone.  If I disagreed, I could reference exactly why I did not agree.  These elements were important to me.  

Eclectic: Baptized as a Lutheran, attended a Roman Catholic grade school, Swedish Covenant private academy, and Disciples of Christ college.  At a very early age, I became aware of the parallels and discrepancies between religion. There was a common thread running through the interpretations of commandments, rituals, sacraments, regulations and restrictions.  Simplicity is what appealed to me and so I followed the common thread.  Controversies between the religions were of little importance to me.  My faith grew into one big adaptation.

Prejudice:  From kindergarten through eighth grade I was told I would never go to heaven as I was a non-catholic.  Four years at the academy, I learned that money was extremely powerful and the poor simply were not mentioned except for missions in far away places.  While sharing social histories in college, I sadly learned of 'broken' homes, abandonment, and poverty.  Meanwhile, my home neighborhood became a Kosher Jewish community, where I soon became misplaced.

Tolerance:  I was spit upon and threatened in a city neighborhood simply because I was white,  and somehow,  I understood that I was representing all that they perceived as injustice.  I remained moderately respectful  as elders tried to convince me Social Work was not an appropriate major, nor was Psychology.  I silently repelled the suggestion that going to college was primarily to meet a husband.  

Compassion:  While walking to kindergarten, I blessed little children with the intention of keeping them safe throughout their day.  As a grade school outsider, I understood the comfort of following a rigid dogma, and the threat of exploring other belief systems.  At the academy, I did not envy wealth for very long as I quickly understood my friends loneliness and pressure to be who they simply were not meant to be.  In college, I embraced how each individual uses their own private hell to color their personal world.  

Life is filled with lessons.  Some teachings do not occur to us until later in life.  The  advantages of being eclectic, non-prejudiced, tolerant, and compassionate are reflective in the person I am today.  A person with random experiences and diverse substance, continues to write each and every day.

Coals Become Hot

"Absence is to love 

what wind is to fire;

it extinguishes the small,

it inflames the great."

Roger de Bussy-Rabutin

As 2014 comes to a close, I feel the loss of treasured friends, suspended moments of intimacy, and the echo of laughter with kindred spirits.  Even though I believe time is elastic, constantly contracting and expanding, the dance of change unnerves me.  Nothing stays the same, and not one element is ever lost forever and yet the created space for new leaves me blowing in the wind.

As this new year, 2015, begins, I experience the let down of post holiday emotions.  I have learned to stay in the moment and not get caught up in materialism, judgment or isolation, but there is still a lowering of my defenses, deeper breaths to be taken, and an eagerness to move forward.

Gentle breezes shift petty differences, but as the wind carries me, inevitably coals become hot and burning in my heart.  The deepest longing for  universal acceptance and peace seems just as vibrant as when I was 15.  The eternal hopeful, I truly believe my light is joining others creating a foundation of human kindness.  As violence bubbles to the surface, I pray that it will be addressed universally once and for all.

Warmth of the Shore

"Water is fluid, soft, and yielding.  But water will

wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield.

As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will 

overcome whatever is rigid and hard.  This is

another paradox:  what is soft is strong."

Lao Tzu

As a coping skill, we develop a hard shell for protection.  Although this may be necessary to keep out the negative, it keeps our radiance inside as well.  Gently flowing water can be compared to the comfort of love washing over our protected heart.  Each wave washes a bit of our hardness away, until our barrier is worn so thin, love begins to seep in.  Love and water has the power to wear down our rough edges and soothe our soul.  Love is like water cleansing our most inner selves.

Love, like the force of a crushing wave, can crack our hearts wide open.  This process of softening is not painless nor always comforting.  Nevertheless, if we diligently go with the flow, our wounds become healed and the risk of being vulnerable seems manageable. 

The act of being rigid and hard is needed only in extreme situations.  Our lives are more fulfilling when we can approach life with an open heart.  With a willingness to experience and learn, we will eventually  avoid currents and safely arrive on the warmth of the shore.

Action Determines The Outcome

Ask yourself: "What positive changes have you made

or do you want to make in your life?  

What is it and how did or will you do it?''

Tara Brach

There are intentions made this time of year for change, but far too many neglect a structure for action.  The emphasis on the selection and end result, avoiding the important in between step of follow through.  Whether we are considering life styles, emotional health, or living a more fulfilling life, there is no problem in creating a list, but statistics reflect incredibly low results.  

A skilled architect perceives a dream, makes sketches or drawings, and gathers supplies.  Any chef imagines a perfect food presentation, makes notations and collects ingredients.  Even an artist takes precautions before he begins his masterpiece. So why do we think we can form a list of resolutions without any follow through, and yet be shocked at our lack of progress!

Perhaps it is best to choose just one resolution and create guidelines or time lines to gauge our progression.  A structure will keep us more mindful of our daily action towards the goal.  Think the entire process through, and make note of when additional support may be needed.  Project these estimates into the outline or date book as reminders.  

Any change requires assertion, movement, or action.  Nothing happens all by itself.  We cannot sit home waiting for the doorbell to ring delivering our completed goal.  Clutter does not just evaporate, weight doesn't just fall off, and mending fences requires tools and diligence.  The more mindful we are of our goal on a daily basis, the more likely we will create a satisfying end result.  The more creative our plan, the longer it will hold our attention.  When we build in incentives throughout the plan, we will be less likely to give up.  

If we find ourselves struggling or falling behind, don't give up entirely.  Adjust the plan to be more user friendly, more realistic.  Action will trigger a result whether it is grand or small.  Celebrate change, as it will encourage the likelihood of engaging in another project.  Just remember, action determines the outcome.

Choose, You Must

 

"Whether this moment is happy or not depends on you.

It's you that makes the moment happy.

It's not the moment that makes you happy.

With mindfulness, concentration and insight,

any moment can become a happy moment.

Happiness is an art."

Thich Nhat Hanh

The recipe for a happy New Year has three simple ingredients:  Mindfulness, Concentration, and Insight.  When blended together, happiness is the result.  No matter what we are facing or what we have lost, by staying in the moment we will peacefully experience some element of happiness.  

Thich Nhat Hanh states that "happiness is an art" which indicates it must be cultivated, mastered, and prioritized by our own discretion.  We determine if we will remain stuck in pain, paralyzed by fear or begin each minute anew.  We have a choice.  Each and every moment there is an opportunity for us to choose where we will place our focus.  

For some of us, remaining in sadness or sorrow, allows us to avoid the unknown.  There is comfort in the familiar, even if it causes  pain.  It takes courage to move out of what we know.  It takes determination to move beyond our fears.  It takes practice to still the mindless chatter whipping at our self-esteem.  There is choice, and granted, it is rarely easy; but, choose you must.

In any given moment, escape into silence that eagerly awaits.  With time, this moment of silence can be expanded into two moments and then three, building to portions of time that restores our heart, body, and soul.  To learn to be happy in each given moment does not mean we avoid challenge or pain.  It does mean that once we create the art of happiness, we will be able to pass through any life situation with patience and insight rather than overwhelm and fear. 

I wish this for each of you!

Happy New Year

Stretching Point For Others

"May I be a bridge."

Shanti deva

Sifting through my memories on New Years Eve, I come to realize how frequently I have stood upon a bridge watching water flow.  Water needs current to pull it along so that it will not become stagnant. and the same can be said of our emotions.  

A bridge over water has always been a place for contemplation.  Methodically, I stand on one side to think of where I have been.  Then, I walk to the other side and wonder where I will go.  When I stand in the middle, I sincerely try to integrate both sides into my present thinking.

Standing in the middle of a bridge is perfect.  One cannot see too far behind nor too far ahead.  Right in the middle is where I find comfort as anything seems possible.  The bridge itself is a support system, not intended to lead me one way or the other.  It suspends me above unnecessary emotions, and uncovered, allows me to hear the voices carried upon the wind.

In the midst of my reverie, I realize I want to be a bridge for others.  Not to direct them one way or another, but to support them while they too can observe the churning water below or gaze into the floating clouds of possibility.  I want to offer them a comfort zone where they can integrate what is necessary for them to carry on.

So this is my intention, to be a stretching point for others.  To have trees and birds on one end and a gentle wandering path on the other.  To have the undercurrent of emotions below, moving, not stagnant, and the ability to look up into the warmth of the sun in the sky.  Alone, I will not be afraid as the moon will arrive at night bringing forth a star studded sky.