"In the softness of the heart lives the capacity to love.
Sadness is not the opposite of joy, but its gateway."
Jeff Foster
When we become immobilized by crippling emotional pain, we withdraw deeper within, hiding from fear and the possibility of more anguish. Our skin grows thick and our hearts hard, and we vow to never let anyone hurt us ever again. We burrow into isolation, not fully realizing we can impair our own nature more deeply through these actions.
For growth, we need the sunshine and the rain. We benefit from both elements, just as we grow through experiences of sadness and joy. Without one, we would not fully experience the other. It is a definite part of life to experience a wide range of emotional reactions. It is going to happen. The best preparation one can have is to accept emotions as unavoidable reality, and to maintain such deep love for the self and for others, that we will persevere. This is not about condoning nor allowing negative behavior, but to maintain the ability to allow love to survive it all.
When I love my self deeply, it is easier to deflect judgments of others. When I love others deeply in spite of their weaknesses, I can understand their actions have more to do with them and very little to do with me. By having an attitude of love, we will be aware of the pain, but we will not get trapped in it. When we experience joy more fully, and impact the lives of others around us through our radiance.
So the bottom line truly isn't about what people 'do' to us, but how we 'react' to what comes our way. Will we complicate the situation by investing more negative energy or will we see the bigger picture, maintaining our own self-respect. When we encounter sadness, we can remember it is simply a gateway to experience love in a broader way. We can make the choice to back away, but moving on towards life with love in our hearts.
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