Silence ...

 

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies,

but the silence of our friends."

Martin Luther King, Jr

Silence can be a welcomed response when we need a person to simply be present in our space, but not when voice is given to concern. If we express our inner feelings to a person that is directly involved, and they minimize or deliberately do not respond, 'no response is a response'. Silence delivers the unspoken message.

When we are not heard, there is a tendency to criticize ourselves. Our reaction may be telling ourselves we are being too needy or excessively sensitive when in actuality, we need to hold this other person accountable. We need to determine if the quiet response was based on a lack of concern and interest. 

When our disclosures go unaddressed, it is time to adjust the boundaries of relationship. Silence may be the answer our heart is avoiding. If we pursue relationships where we are continuously met with silence, our self-respect and sense of safety become diminished. It may be time to invest our energy into those who willingly partake in our journey.

Elimination

"If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl,  

but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Numerous roadways open before us. Some have a speeding bypass while others might have a singular dirt lane. There will be twists and turns blocking what lies ahead and perhaps a few dead ends. Bridges under repair may alter our travel pace, and closed exits preempt a timely departure. 

As we commute, reflection is given to the past and speculation applied to the future. If we do not focus, however, upon the present, we may find ourselves driving around in circles. Eliminating old road maps, discarding built up debris and simply cleansing our vision assist in forward movement.

Rather than speeding, slow down the pace to notice what surrounds us. If we do not like the view, create a decorative plan. Change will not happen without taking fresh action. To give closure, reclaims our energy which can then be experienced as empowerment. If we want new outcomes, participation in the journey is imperative. 

 

****INC Friendship Relationships

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies,

but the silence of our friends."

Martin Luther King Jr

 

Contagious

"Our lives begin to end the day we become

silent about things that matter."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

A beautiful soul disguised as a human being was growing discouraged over the lack luster commitments of fellow professionals. She was not jockeying for power, but yearning for higher performances in what was being offered. Discomfort was based on not being able to be her best when others were spreading a blanket of boredom.

Hoping that enthusiasm would be contagious, she began to invest positive energy into conversations with her colleagues. Instead of sitting quietly at the board meeting, she used her voice to project her concern over substandard investments while trying to ignite authentic fire in the bellies of others.

There is misjudgment in believing we must be still ... unseen, not heard, and not living up to our highest standards of equality. Each one of us is being called to increase our abilities to empower our own self as well as promoting the voices of others. Simply state what needs to be said and without judgment, listen to the voice of others.

Crusader Filled with Peace, Love, and Hope

 

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.

Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

Martin Luther King, Jr

Martin Luther King, Jr, invoked strength in his speeches and writings, and also expressed a calling to love and be loved.   He was a man to be respected and honored, not feared.  He  believed there was darkness as well as light and sadly aware of hate pushing upon boundaries of peace.

Martin Luther King, Jr, faced fierce winds with a non-faltering stance of non-violence.  The more pronounced he became as a leader,  the growth of opposers deepened.  And is this not true of crusaders proceeding him ... crusaders filled with peace, love, and hope attracting unacceptable violence.

Martin Luther King, Jr, paid a price for presenting himself as humble and respectable.  His endless love enabled him to forgive, but never to give up.  He set an example for multiple generations and equal genders.  He was an admirable human being carrying his light into the thickening darkness.

YOU ARE WORTHY

"No work is insignificant.  All labor that

uplifts humanity has dignity and importance."

Martin Luther King, Jr

Traveling as a guest with an exceptionally successful business woman, I acquired many lessons.  This woman never looked down upon others as she had never forgotten what it was like to be dirt poor. This was her way of contributing respect and support.  It was nothing for her to tuck money into the towel by the sink for the maid to find.  The woodworker on his knees styling a design in the entry way discovered extra money secreted in his tool box.  I admired my friend for being anonymous with her gestures, never wanting to be discovered nor waiting for recognition.  

In conversation with her cleaning lady, she learned the woman had not only a degree but exceptional credentials.  The professional had accepted a lesser job to be able to attend medical appointments with her handicapped child.  My friend wrote a grant for this woman to offer services in community areas for the aged, working around responsibilities for her son.   

We can serve those in need through acts of kindness, requiring only our thoughtfulness and respect for the efforts of others.  No matter what our gestures, they relay the feelings of I SEE YOU, I AM THANKFUL and YOU ARE WORTHY.  

Holy Flame of Love

"Hate cannot drive out hate:

only love can do that."

Martin Luther King, Jr

Hate is one of the results of repressed anguish, frustration, and suppression.  When one does not see any options for self-development, a multitude of negative emotions build towards the element of hate.   It may feel powerful to join with other haters, and imagine a vision of conquering what has been denied; but it is simply acting in the darkness.

Through the media and the culture of fear,  hate appears to be both growing and expanding.  If we fear this, our personal power will leak away.  Instead, join with like minded people more often to build resistance from fear.  Participate in local volunteer efforts to create a stronger community of goodness.  Reduce the amount of fear and increase the strength of hands joined together.

Every day we are given options for light hearted goodness.  The stray piece of paper blowing across the street or the empty plastic bottle by the gutter give us the chance to respect our home, community, and earth.  Hold a door allowing for one other to go first, or offer a place in line for a customer with one item -vs- personal cart full.  Little sparks of small efforts ignite the holy flame of love.

Release ...

"Forgiveness is not an occasional act,

it is a constant attitude."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

There were many reasons for individuals to release connections with organized religions.  Once distanced from an institution, the intimacy, sacraments and rituals of the church were noticeably felt.  This was remedied by creating sacred spaces to fill the void.

BRAIN PICKINGS offered an interview with Leonard Cohen stating,  "So it is in our time that certain spiritual mechanisms that were very useful have been abandoned and forgot."  This is especially true of confession and forgiveness which needs to be addressed in our personal spiritual practices, if no longer connected with a church.

Self-forgiveness is one of the most difficult actions to take, and if we do not, we can  harm body, mind and soul.  Physical ailments, mental health issuers, and spiritual disconnection are often based in lack of forgiveness.  Forgiveness requires confession  to our selves through prayer,  journal for release, or share with a trusted friend. By doing so, we feel resurrected.    

Stick to Love

"I have decided to stick to love ...

Hate is too great a burden to bear."

Martin Luther King, Jr

A priest was conducting a question and answer session about unconditional love.  The audience was responding to various topics such as forgiveness, mindfulness, and boundaries.  An attractive woman in her forties politely raised her hand.

The well dressed woman commented, "I am so deeply wounded I cannot forgive."  She continued to describe how her ex-husband had hurt her.  She portrayed a lonely life she found unbearable especially since her husband remarried.  The priest allowed the drama to unfold until the woman was weeping.  He gently walked to her side and asked, "When did this happen?"

The woman took a deep breath and replied, "Ten years ago."  The gathered audience was silent.  The priest placed his hand on the weeping woman's shoulder and said, "Ah! He has moved along living his life very happily, but you are still allowing him to hurt you."

The point of course is no matter how badly we are hurt, we have the choice to release the pain or carry it along with us.  The way to releasing pain is through forgiveness.  When our love turns to hate, we do damage to ourselves physically.  Our wounds can turn our love to hate which creates a growing heaviness upon our body, mind, and spirit.  We make the choice to remain stuck.  We allow the pain to grow deeper and deeper impacting every aspect of our lives.  We have allowed someone else to determine how our life is unfolding.

We are love.  We are meant to love ourselves and others.  If our love towards someone is not accepted, then we choose to not judge, but seek opportunities to meet kindred spirits.  We maintain clear boundaries to protect our well being.

We prosper when we believe in ourselves and with integrity move forward.  When we forgive (not condone) the unkindness of one other, we can use the energy to rebuild our sense of balance.  As we focus on our personal strengths and gently self-nurture we will eventually heal.

The Cross Fire

"Love is the only force capable 

of transforming our enemy 

into our friend."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Competitiveness is healthy just as diversity is inspiring.  In both, respect is necessary.   It is time to recognize a common thread running through all of us.  Not one of us wishes to be harmed, starved, or beaten.  Not one of us wishes to see our children tortured or crucified.  And every one of us believes God is on 'our' side.  

People are starving and children are being tortured, and it is beyond human reasoning for it to be tolerated on any soil.  We choose to  minimize, deny, and avoid.  The underlying factor is fear.  Until fear is replaced by compassion and a loving outreached hand, we will all be caught in the cross fire.

"Blessed be the peacemakers."

Strength to Love, Martin Luther King, Jr.

Martin Luther King, Jr

January 15, 1929 ~ April 4, 1968

"Strength to Love" 1963

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; 

only light can do that. 

Hate cannot drive out hate; 

only love can do that. 

Hate multiplies hate, 

violence multiplies violence, 

and toughness multiplies toughness 

in a descending spiral of destruction...

The chain reaction of evil 

-- hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars -- 

must be broken, 

or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."