Backslide

"The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide."

Chuck Palahniuk

Carefully, I place my feet upon each step and keep my gaze to all that is above ... seen and unseen. I hold trust in my heart when the spiral bends and I can no longer have the vision I desire. Slowly, I move upwards, dedicated to the climb. Awareness remains, however, that at any given moment there may be a backslide.

Entering darkness is familiar to me and the hardest part is realizing, once again, an old pattern has tripped me up. I hold myself accountable, and there is where the darkness is ... self-criticism and personal judgment. Then there are the lapses in the dark filled with images of being the victim and being burned by the fire. 

Eventually, I remember that this is yet another attempt to break my pattern. There is no right nor wrong, just the lesson at hand. When clarity produces greater insight, I am able to move upward on the spiral again. Negativity slides away making room for this new wisdom to lead me upwards, back on my way.