"Do not teach your children never to be angry;
teach them how to be angry."
Lyman Abbott
My anger turns into red hot flames as I do my best to ignore it. Unfortunately, the more I attempt to 'be above' my anger, it is fueling itself for rage. The emotional kindling is stacked and it takes just one small spark to ignite. My uncontrolled thoughts have bristled into a brush fire and I feel a dark force uncoil, lapping at my calm with its pointed black tongue.
Flames singe the love cowering in my heart. Stench seeps through my skin. Smoldering memories turn into billowing smoke as black as a Raven's wing. Unbearable pressure builds within my head, as I numbly ponder the possibility of an epic explosion finally pushing me over the edge.
Experiences in childhood taught me to never want to be angry ... not ever. I promised my innocent self never to argue, confront or raise my voice in anger. I never realized that anger was a normal emotion, and I could choose from healthy responses. No one in my little life illustrated appropriate reaction to anger.
Experiences with anger in my adulthood taught me how to cower, minimize, or acquiesce, resulting in self-loathing, severe migraine headaches, and inappropriate relationships. Fortunately, mentors appeared giving me permission to feel anger, but then to let it go. When letting go seemed impossible, there were many healthy alternatives such as writing, running, painting, or screaming into a pillow. (Quite frankly, the latter seemed to work just fine.)
In time, I gathered trusted 'sisters of my heart'. I was provided with a safe place to express anger. I could experience all of my emotions without fear, shame or internal combustion. I was in a safe place where I could share my darker side and still be loved and accepted. Eventually, I learned how to blow out the flame of my emotional match when it first began to flicker, before it triggered an emotional wild fire.
Experiences in childhood taught me to never want to be angry ... not ever. I promised my innocent self never to argue, confront or raise my voice in anger. I never realized that anger was a normal emotion, and I could choose from healthy responses. No one in my little life illustrated appropriate reaction to anger.
Experiences with anger in my adulthood taught me how to cower, minimize, or acquiesce, resulting in self-loathing, severe migraine headaches, and inappropriate relationships. Fortunately, mentors appeared giving me permission to feel anger, but then to let it go. When letting go seemed impossible, there were many healthy alternatives such as writing, running, painting, or screaming into a pillow. (Quite frankly, the latter seemed to work just fine.)
In time, I gathered trusted 'sisters of my heart'. I was provided with a safe place to express anger. I could experience all of my emotions without fear, shame or internal combustion. I was in a safe place where I could share my darker side and still be loved and accepted. Eventually, I learned how to blow out the flame of my emotional match when it first began to flicker, before it triggered an emotional wild fire.
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