Releasing Tears for Wholeness

 

 

 

"Nothing ever goes away

until it teaches us

what we need to know."

Pema Chodron

 

 

Our culture teaches us that being sad is a weakness.  As children we were not encouraged to express our sadness, especially through tears.  Unspoken directives were received to 'suck it up' and we were always eager to please. 

 

In a writing of Panache Desai, he compares  people who have bottled up sadness to  weeping willow trees and people who become stronger by expressing sadness to  great oak trees.  This comparison struck me in particular as I have always loved trees.  My earlier favorite was a weeping willow which with hindsight totally symbolizes my tendency to keep sadness safely tucked inside.  How heavy the boughs were!  Whenever I would mention a weeping willow, others would consistently make a statement about how awful the root systems were.  Again, I find this interesting in terms of how deep my roots of sadness expanded and how disruptive they became.

 

I eventually shifted my likings to the weeping birch tree.  The white etched trunks were strong and erect with boughs tending to droop.  Hopefully this reflects my ability to stand up for myself in spite of my sadness.  Perhaps this even reflects my growing understanding of sadness being no greater nor lesser than happiness.

 

I doubt any one would categorize me as a sad person.  I do not project this image at all, and yet when I release years of sadness from me, I am amazed at how much more freedom I have.  There feels like I have more than ample room within to expand in creative and solitary ways. 

 

I now regard a spring rain as tears gently cleansing the leaves of trees.  The rain as a cleansing agent is really quite similar to the experience of sadness.  When we allow ourselves to really feel this feeling of sad we can allow our tears to wash it away.  In acknowledging such feelings, we can experience a sense of wholeness.