Not Standing Still

Be not afraid of growing slowly;

be afraid only of standing still.

Chinese Proverb

Rapidly flapping wings, the hummingbird is suspended and somewhat stationary in the air.  Even while eating, the little hummingbird's wings are a blur of movement although remaining in the same space.

Filled with wisdom, vision, and spiritual calm, with a blink of the eye, I am like the hummingbird,  I am flapping my wings as fast as I can, but find my self stationary, suspended in air. 

In this human experience, we grow so slowly, absorbing the slips of magic or the brief movement of the mystical veil.  We hope never to give up our inner journey to always continue to learn and understand, to grasp for the meanings hiding behind the spiritual dreams.   Then the inevitable happens ... we slip down the spiral of life, losing the sense of security we thought we had.  

I find my self suspended in the coiling of the spiral.  Intellectually, I know this processing, but emotionally I am discouraged by the recognition of ancient cracks and crannies tucked away in my darkness. 

Quietly I whisper to my self, "Again?"   I wonder how long this time, how long will I wander in my thoughts searching for the space holding acceptance and forgiveness? 

This searching, this suspension in my security is familiar to me so I know eventually I will find the pathway to love and all  there is ... wholeness. 

One thing I do know for sure, I will not stand still.