Crossing Lines

"Every human being has a true genuine authentic self. Trauma is the 

disconnection from it and healing is the reconnection to it."

Gabor Mate

When we were babies and non-verbal, communication was felt not spoken. Caretakers projected numerous emotions and we falsely assumed we had created them. When loud voices were heard, confusion may have caused us to be frightened. If raised in a tumultuous environment, we began to feel unsafe.

Trauma is an emotional response to a stressful event where we feel overwhelmed and unable to cope. It may stay in the forefront of our emotional makeup or remain buried deep within us. Too often, we feel responsible for emotional dysfunction implemented by others. Either way, until it is resolved, we will be impaired.

We were born as authentic beings, but absorbed the dysfunction of those around us. We accepted misplaced anger and held ourselves accountable. Healing occurs when we uncross the lines bound by our past and discover clarity. Whether these events are physical or emotional, not addressing them, will inhibit us from our true nature. 

 

Exhausted Survivors

"Children don't get traumatized because they are hurt.

They get traumatized because they are alone with he hurt."

Gabor Mate

Damaged from childhood trauma, a person closely monitors people around them, and their surroundings. Trust may not come easily and fear is laced in and out of situations. They may listen more closely to what is happening and often times hope they are invisible. All of this in spite of intellectually knowing these habits are no longer necessary.

Survivors tend to take things more personally. Words spoken are usually taken to heart and if there is discord, they may sense they are the cause. They may cling to privacy and be unable to embrace a larger picture of the world. The habit of hiding both emotionally and physically prevents thriving relationships.

Let us keep in mind that we are all travelers in this time and space. Respect those who are in survivor mode by being available to listen when they are open to sharing or to simply be present when asked. This sense of being alone in this world can be debilitating and exhausting ot the soul.

Early Sorrow

"The suppression of early sorrow is not limited 

to overt trauma or abuse."

Gabor Mate

Experiences as a human are very diverse and what happens as dysfunction in one case scenario, may be quite different in another. The common thread seems to be not having someone to talk to or a safe place for release. The lack of security leads to feeling vulnerable. The disconnect heightens over time, not in one isolated instance.

To add to dysfunction, we tend to minimize our experiences by comparison to others. The level of pain suffered aught not be diminished by someone else's background. In some situations, we incorrectly use a double standard, having compassion for acquaintances, but none for ourselves. We may lower the bar for others, then raise it for ourselves.

We need to step through the falsehood of thinking we were the cause of inappropriate events and recognize the impact of unavailable people, healing can begin. Understanding that no matter how large or small, negative events impact our development. These situations are heightened when we have no one to turn to or no safe place to go.

 

Trigger Healing

 

"When you shut down emotion, you're also affecting your immune system,

your nervous system. So the repression of emotions, which is a survival

strategy, then becomes a source of physiological illness later on."

Gabor Mate

Unhappiness and negative feelings can impact your state of health. Irritation is an emotion creating toxins that travel into the physical body. Emotions such as anger can spew toxins into the atmosphere. Poor food choices, unhealthy lifestyles, and irregular sleep patterns, become negative elements.

Intestinal problems, indigestion, and head colds may be a direct result of feeling misunderstood or mistreated. Subtle emotional reactions may be hidden in your cells which seriously weakens the immune system. Feelings of being trapped and constant introspection hamper our health.

If you choose to open yourself by journaling, asking for prayers or seeking professional assistance, the toxins in your system begin to be minimized. Standing in the sunlight or visualizing inner harmony, while connecting and communicating with loved ones, triggers healing.

Remember Who You Are

"When it comes to wholeness, we're never quite

as close as we think, but we're also never

as far as we fear."

Gabor Mate

Compassion is the blanket that cradles both our pain and fear. Sometimes we need to pull it tightly over our heads, while other times, we can gently shawl it around us. In order for us to move forward, we must feel safe to identify what is tearing at our heart and messing with our head.

It is important to identify if we are feeling threatened by something real or imagined. When we can examine where the suffering is coming from, we are able to gather more information regarding the truth of the matter. One needs to decipher whether we are even consciously aware of both our actions and reactions.

Once our pain is identified, we can lift our boundaries and create healing scenarios. Remembering who we are is pivotal for healthy correction, gathering power, and accelerating positive growth. As we recall the courage and determination from our past and apply it to our present, wholeness begins to flow.

 

"Compulsive Compression"

"There is a world of difference between a considered, conscious 'yes'

and a compulsive suppression of a 'no'."

Gabor Mate

What happened to us that blurred the truth of 'yes' being equivalent to 'no'? How old were we when we acquiesced to the exultation of affirmation and the disgust of going against the flow? Would this be the same period of time when our voice was silenced, and our value demoralized?

Lacking the ability to say 'no', our physical body begins to act out which of course we choose to ignore. We stifle our reaction to pain while pushing forward in our minds where unrest continues to grow. We may cease to find joy, triggering a response of withdrawal. With the suppression of the use of 'no', we begin to avoid what would nurture our soul.

There is a great need to hear our voice and unpack the false stories from long ago. It is imperative to find a way to express our lovely selves ... even if we are wrong. Push through self-imposed barriers, realizing we have the right to voice both our 'yes' and our 'no'. With inner awareness, speak freely from the soul.

Kicking and Screaming ...

 

"Every human being has a true genuine authentic self.

Trauma is the disconnection from it and 

healing is the reconnection to it."

Gabor Mate

We may come into this world kicking and screaming, but our human nature is open, loving, and kind. With every new breath, we attempt to adjust and acclimate. Experiences continue to unfold, not  reflecting who we believe our lovely selves to be.

Bit by bit, we gently close our heart and adjust our own persona in hopes  of pleasing others. We try repeatedly to hold our heart open, only to be shut down once again. Eventually, our heart slams shut and we are only a small snip of who we were meant to be.

In increments, we begin to carefully unfold once again.  This time, we are reenforced by our own rules and expectations. As we gain momentum, our light begins to shine brighter and brighter, highlighting who we authentically decide to be!