Crossing Back to Home

 

                                                      

                                                    Give ...  Do not allow thy self to be used; 

                                                    Love ... Do not allow thy heart to be abused;

                                                   Trust ... Do not be naive;  

                                                  Listen ... Do not loose thy voice.

                                                                  Author Unknown

Twenty years ago I was 55 and I was yearning to be more.  Ten years ago I was 65 and I longed for deeper conversations.  Today, I turn 75 and my physicality has very little to do with where my mind dwells.

The skin is sagging; weight has been gained; hair gray forever, and my bones no longer wish to jump; but, my mind is as inquisitive as ever.  Curiosity pulls me forward, wanting to understand, perhaps, just one more revelation.

My physical body feels like a coat, protecting my inner spirit from the strong winds of relationship and under minding of society. Dedication to Virginia's Voice offers a connection between my two worlds.  I tend to thrive in my spiritual world where skies are strung with stars and moon; while my outer existence bides my time before crossing back to home.

Deciphering Dreams

 

"In processing dreams, we find that our unconscious 

and conscious thinking work together

and our intuition increases."

Elaine Clayton

As we pay attention, we begin to notice a repetition in the lessons we learn in life. The experiences may appear differently, but the iintention is the same. This is true of dreams as well.  They may have extremely differing content, and yet the lesson is the same.

To understand the intention of a dream, one does not need to remember every detail, except that is helpful!  We can ask ourselves how we were feeling, what situations were we facing, and did we find a resolution? 

When we record bits and pieces of our dreams, we become amazed recognizing an on going theme presenting in frequent dreamscapes. What was the weather (can indicate emotions) or were there animals (symbols) in the dream?  Were relationships different from one dream to the next?  What quality was each person reflecting?  The information can be endless.  Oh, and everyone dreams every night!

Sense of Home

"Home isn't always a place is it?"

Charlie Mackesy

At an early age, we begin to sense the comfort of our home.  We begin to differentiate feelings of safety, noises and fragrances ... all indicators of our security.  As we grow, we begin to extend a portion of our love of home to our grandparents, friends, and eventually at school.  Later, we then create our personal sense of home.

We come to realize that home isn't always a physical space.  It is sometimes emotionally felt in the presence of trusted friends.  The secure emotions can be experienced in the midst of prayer or meditation.  Walking in nature can give us the sense of connection we need.

Before we become 'undone' or find our spirits in the depth of darkness, we can use preventive measures to stabilize our life patterns.  We can rest assured if we have committed to defining and securing what our heart needs.  The ability to navigate the flow of life provides us with the sense of home.

 

Parts of the Self

"Rest in knowing that the Universe 

unfolds at just the right time."

Emily Silva

It is helpful to adjust our human need to push forward before appropriate preparation has been made.  If we can sit with our lovely selves, checking in with the concept of 'Thy Will Be Done," we can recalibrate our need to drive.

Our perceptions are extremely limited and tainted making it vitally important to align our bodies, minds, and spirits with the flow of life.  Build respect for the rhythm both inside and outside.  With this sense of balance, we move forward with greater ease.

When a  child is overwhelmed by his or her surroundings, it is helpful to have the young one sit upon a chair until thoughts, emotions, and reactions are under control.  The same is true for our lovely selves.  Take a time out and sit in stillness.  This allows time to gather all parts of the self.

 

Unique Expression of Mysteries

"COMPASSION MELTS INNER BARRIERS

WHLE INSIGHT RELEASES THEM."

Tara Bennett-Goleman

Yesterday, I was filled with radiant color and endless creativity.  I could barely harness my full force energy to focus on just one task.  Today, I was tightly bound in negative thinking, snuffing out spontaneous ideas.  

The good news is that we have choice.  We can extend our lovely selves or contract, it is truly up to us.  Self doubt keeps us small whereas trust in our unique human nature can allow us to escape the heaviness weighing us down.  

We can acknowledge our self-doubt without giving in to it.  We can release ego, allowing our spiritual guidance to lead us forward.  Only a few steps forward are necessary to enter our source of creativity.  We will sense our imagery being pulled forward into our unique expression of  mysteries.

 

Supported by the Presence

 

"When we stop opposing reality,

action becomes simple, fluid,

kind and fearless."

Byron Katie    

As we stand on guard anticipating what may or may not happen, we are investing our energy unwisely.  If we can visualize standing in water, laying down our burdens, and gently begin to float with the current, our forward movement is supported by the presence of all that is good.

Maintaining a positive energy, we will let go of fear and minimize our ego.  Our attitude can be more of welcome speculation knowing we can embrace life without becoming a victim.  We can choose to be like a drop of printer's ink, slowly expanding upon the paper or we can simply be the mark of a pencil point, keeping things in perspective.

Whether we are indulging in happiness or quivering in fear, we do better if we acknowledge the situation and carry on.  To know and understand one's self assists in remaining buoyant, moving with the current and not against!

The Arrow and the Hole

{PLEASE NOTICE IMAGES WITHIN PAINTING}

"Take criticism seriously, but not personally. If there

 is truth or merit in the criticism, try to learn from it.

Otherwise, let it roll right off you."

Hillary Clinton

When someone's words strike a personal and negative chord within, it is important to follow it down to its origin.  Criticism may have nothing to do with the moment, but may trigger unhealed bruising within.  This would be a situation where the past is coloring our perception of the present.

Shoot an arrow into the side of a barn.  Remove the arrow and notice how the hole continues to remain indefinitely.   This can be true of our careless or judgmental words we sling at one or others.  Even if we apologize, the damage has been done.

As we are confronted, we can listen for truth as a guide to improve.  If harsh words truly do not resonate, simply let them go.  Retaliation or casting our own dark words is unnecessary and only digs  holes deeper.  

 

Happening Right Now

 

"Your Life is Happening Right Now:   Don't let procrastination 

take over your life. Be brave and take risks. 

Your life is happening right now."

Roy T. Bennett

As I browsed through mantras of encouragement and understanding, a certain theme continued to surface. I would say to my self, "Oh, I need to send that to _____ !"  Repeatedly, words appeared before my very eyes for a long time before I caught on.

The themes were meant for me and I was avoiding them as fast as I could. Granted, they pertained to old happenings I had long forgiven, but apparently emotional  remnants remained.  As though dredging through the remains of a fire, I filtered out splinters still causing pain. Once removed, I cleansed my body with loving light, restoring my goodness to where I thought it had been.

Yes, indeed, we need to share, but if we are truly aware, we will see our own reflections as well.  Right now, in this moment, life is trying to heal us through nature, art, relationships and self-discovery.  We must listen to our own words as well as words of others. Without fear, we have the choice to face and love who we are meant to be.

The View We Take In

"We are disturbed not by things, but by 

the view we make of them."

Epictetus

When I am truly enamored by someone, I stand before them with an open heart and a non-judgmental mind.  I consider what he or she says gladly and tend to agree.  When a person has offended me through thought, word or deed, my mind doesn't really listen, but filters all of the negative remarks for me to take issue with.  

In a story book for children, inserted were strips of colored see through paper one could hold up to the light.  One could view the world in red, blue, yellow or green.  As the reader lifted the eyes from the colored paper, the view around them was still tinted with color.  

Human beings go through life experiencing numerous incidents, each leaving an impression upon us whether we are cognizant or not.  As similar happenings appear, we align them with the past and immediately taint the view.  Dismantle this habit by living in each moment with the mind a clean slate. Begin anew, again and again with awareness.

 

Summer Solstice

"Today we celebrate light and honor 

the wisdom of the shadows."

Dacha Avelin

As we deepen our connection with nature, we pay more attention to the changing of seasons, the dividing segments of nature.  The Summer Solstice offers us more light for which nature gladly responds.  Humans as well seem to be more active with the longer hours of sunlight.

The darkness of nightfall can be intensified as well as our eyes adjust to change. Through this warm season, however, we tend to sit on the ground in the evening as well as the day.  With increased physical activity, our feet touch the ground more if not longer and this too grounds us deeper.

Just being outside, whether detecting the fragrances of nature or listening to birds sing, we feel a closeness.  To be more strongly connected, perhaps we even stare at the stars and moon longer while we listen hopefully for a whisper in the wind. Either way, celebrate this day.

Fading Bookmarks

 

"You can tell a lot about someone 

from their bookmarks."

Edd McCracken

My bookshelves are filled with collections from numerous locations, subject matter, and authors.  Each one has specific highlighting and dates to mark what I have used as quotes.  Whether the volume is hardback or paperback, it is graced with a bookmark.  

Bookmarks originally were freely given from libraries or purchased from book stores.  As these vintage art replications became less available, I began to collect professional business cards found at art shows which were really quite colorful.  

In the mix, however, I can find notes from my kids  or a thank you card from a long passed friend.  Here and there are random photos, not really keepsakes, but not worthy of being thrown away.  Then there are pencils, highlighters, and pens to help me mark my way.  What I invest into a book and what it shares back with me can be life changing and life saving.  Kindle books just are not the same.

Coincidence, I Think Not

"Coincidences link us to the 

unknown and weave us into it."

Doug Dillon

Hoping for new insight, I grabbed a book from my highest shelf and settled in with a cup of morning coffee.  Inside the cover was my signature and a date in December from seven years ago.  As I glanced through the pages, it was apparent that I had never read this book.

As I worked my way through the first chapters, my heart began to open and my mind was filled with abstract creativity.  The message of God being in all things or oneness I had heard for years, but this author was using new variations to express ancient wisdom.  

I longed to see with clarity and to rid myself of distorted perception.  My abnormal emotional patterns had created a challenging life and now I hoped to learn an approach to release dysfunctional mind sets.  The book is:  MIND WHISPERING by Tara Bennett-Goleman, forward by the Dalai Lama.  How amusing to choose a seven year old book that would address my current needs! Coincidence, I think not.

No or Maybe Yes ...

"You can't solve a problem

from the state of mind that

created the problem."

Albert Einstein 

Once a mother of four children, I learned to tell them:  "If you demand an answer right this very minute, I will tell you no; but, if you give me time to think about it, the answer might be yes." This approach worked for a long time as it gave them hope and me pause to think clearly, and not upon demand.

Unfortunately, I did not apply this approach with my peers.  I frequently responded under pressure, gave in  wanting to please, and felt saying no was bad.  I frequently found my self over committed, engaged in gatherings that held no interest for me, and I resented the waste of my time I had so freely given.

When I re-entered my career years later, I had the response once shared with my kids, firmly in place for all people.  Especially with problem solving, 'thinking quickly on your feet' did not necessarily provide the best resolution.  When I can allow space for a pause, I can observe with new eyes and become aware of a broader perspective that might be accepted by all involved.  

 

Invisible Conditioning

 

"We will find what we look for."

Mary Pipher

Highly entertaining is the challenge of asking a few individuals to look up into the clouds or across the horizon or into the dark.  What do they see or feel or experience?  The responses will never match each other, as they will ultimately be unique.

The experiences in our lives have altered our personalities and perhaps even our physical appearance.  These events alter our perceptions based on our experiences.  Once we become aware of our damaging assumptions, one can go on to learn how we color life in shades altering clarity.

As children, we were like little sponges soaking up things we didn't understand; but these attitudes towards the self and others became permanent, yet perhaps invisible. Our  behaviors or responses can be automatic without questioning origin or importance.  Take a moment and sense the old sayings still hanging in your mind. 'Don't step on a sidewalk crack. Don't wash your hair when you have your period.  Never look directly into the eyes of a man.  Never question the authority of any elder ... priest, doctor, dentist, teacher, coach, stranger."  Our elders meant well, but they had been conditioned themselves.

Stop Pushing!

 

"As you begin to slow,

notice how your field of attention widens."

Mark Nepo

Life expectations push us along and ego goads us into deeper commitment.  Maybe we will catch a cold or worse yet, fall and twist an ankle; either way, we are forced to slow down.  It is not very likely that God is deliberately causing us pain, but I do wonder if Divinity isn't trying to slow us down.

When our pace slows, our vision broadens both physically and mentally.  We begin to see the bigger picture which triggers us to question or alter our decisions.  Background elements come forth adding additional depth.  The pause between steps offers further introspection.

The discipline of slowing down does not require a day off from work, but that would be great!  It does encourage listening to what we are thinking and to react accordingly.  It does expect us to notice what has changed and whether or not we support it.  Stop pushing and make note of how we have personally lost parts of our selves in the rush, and how to slowly replace them.

Naked, and Unafraid ...

 

"When we give our energy, we make space 

for more to flow into us."

Shakti Gawain

Naked and unafraid, once again we are free to travel in the midst of others, sharing smiles and feeling reconnected.  Stress is released and emotions are uplifted.  No longer are we seemingly traveling this earth alone as a scorned pariah. 

Of course reference is to the disrobing of masks, at least for some of us.  As we pass others by, we feel a genuine kindness shared through the eyes.  Our minds are quietly whispering, "We're okay!"  For the time being we ignore what lies before us.  Pretending that trauma hasn't occurred; but for right now in this space of time, let us breathe.

Individually, we must continue to believe in our personal strength, our ability to grow between the rocks formed around us.  We will seek the sun and not be fearful of the dark for the moon is always there.  We can carefully place our prayers in the center of a light beam and secure it in a star!

Personal Depths

"There is great joy that comes from allowing

your truest self to lead the way because it creates

alignment and congruency within you."

Shelley Young, Trinity Esoteric

We can be creative without confinement of unnecessary expectations of perfection.  When we open our imagination only to a trickle of thought, ideas will dry up and blow away.  If we allow ourselves to open with a full thrust of ingenuity, we enjoy a rush of joy and childlike thrill.  

Glancing through history, we find numerous musicians, artists, authors and inventors who had been grossly discouraged from pursuing his or her passion.  Fortunately, perseverance escorted individuals forward in spite of overwhelming boundaries.

What keeps creativity minimized?  Who controls the  unnecessary boundaries, confining ideas to isolation?  Which harsh words wounds the heart and spirit?  Hold your lovely self accountable and push with the soul to discover personal depths.

 

Standing in Presence

"A long stretch of road will teach you more about yourself

than a hundred years of quiet introspection."

Patrick Rothfuss

Deeper into my darkness, I did fall.  Without physical touch, connection, or encouragement, I slowly lost all sense of self.  I traveled back to trusted friends who once reflected my worthiness and kindness.  They held me in hugs, shared memories and inspired me to move back into the light.

During the hours I spent driving towards kindred spirits, I examined my self ... perspective, opinions, observations ... no longer trusting my ability to balance.  Locking into the eyes of others, I could wallow in their goodness and be reminded of my own.

As I slowly drove home, recognizing the trees, birds, and nature's gifts, I felt my lovely self finally healing and believing that I could make a difference once again.  Passions resurfaced, projects fell into place, and my heart grew strong.  I will be forever grateful to those who let me stand in their presence, connecting into the existence of one.

The Return of Love

"So give all the love you have.

Do not hold any in reserve.

What is given is not lost; it shall return."

Kamand Kojouri

I had been done in. I had dissolved, lost footing and lost all sense of self.  Isolation from COVID had taken its toll, leaving me disconnected and distanced.  Once the masks were removed, and travel approved, I was on my way back to my sisterhood, to find reflections of my self.

One on one, I visited with those who had witnessed both my strengths and weaknesses.  I allowed myself to linger within each heart filled hug.  Gradually, I reclaimed bits and pieces of my self, building strengths to face all of my tomorrows.

While driving home, I was able to sort through all of the emotional reminders, words of inspiration, and examples of how my kindred spirits were moving forward with kindness and grace.  I am deeply thankful to my sisters who have carried light into my darkness and helped me rekindle my creative desires.  I am filled with love and encouragement,  moving me forever forward. 

 

Diversity to the Dull and Plain

 

"When we stop opposing reality, 

action becomes simple, fluid, kind, and fearless."

Byron Katie

Clear vision is only one component to viewing reality.  What we do with reality after it grabs our attention is one more element. We have choices to dress it up with avoidance or dumb it down by ignoring it.  Even when we look at reality head on, we must understand if we are viewing through a tainted perspective or unbiased discernment. 

Then there is accountability.  No matter what the cause, if I hold my self accountable it allows me to feel that I might have power over the situation.  When we take one step back to see what degree of involvement is factual, it is easier to remain aligned reacting from a space of strength. To be a realist, one can be rigid or selective in his or her involvement.  

No one welcomes fear and basically at heart we have the potential to be kind, but some of us engage in applying color and depth to basic reality.  With the stroke of an artist's brush, one can add depth and diversity to the dull and plain.  If we are fluid, however, we undoubtedly float across both scenarios.

Stand Up, Please

"You educate a woman, you educate a generation."

Brigham Young

Stand up please, and allow your lovely self to be celebrated.  As a female, not only can you birth humans into this world, but through articulation and example, you are constantly reflecting information. Whatever you learn is expressed through actions, thoughts, and words.

You may or may not share with your parents or have siblings hanging on every word.  There will be children,  classmates, teachers, and relationships all exposed to what you personally represent. This is why it is vitally important to stand by your truth, and not hide it.

The challenges you face help to propel you forward.  You are encouraged to never minimize nor disrespect the self or others.  There is no one else like you and you bring into our world a special sense of being.  Please stand so that you can be applauded!  

 

Appropriate Application

 

"You don't have to be better than anyone else,

you just need to be better than you used to be."

Wayne Dyer

From an early age, I could view what adults were teaching through contradictions and fallacies. Life generously blessed me with mentors, guides, and teachers for when my concepts grew too small.  Endless resources were at the tips of my fingers, but unfortunately I didn't understand how it was to be applied.

Learning is a process that repeats information repetitiously. One time an idea can present itself one way, and then appear dissimilarly the next.  It is similar to a student acing an exam, but then failing the popup quiz.  

Appropriate application becomes the key.  It is one thing to know the truth and something entirely different to actually live the truth. When we are able to ingest what we are shown, our fears and darkness will still appear, but they will be readily faced with our inner strength.

Unexpected Completion

"It always seems impossible until it's done."

Nelson Mandela

Begin again and again, until the pieces either fall apart or come together.  The best part of an ending is the new beginning waiting.  What once worked might never emerge again, but there are endless possibilities if we are open to alterations.

Do not lose sight of the nugget of inspiration, but realize in order to bring it to fulfillment, numerous attempts help us refine the chip until it grows into our golden boulder.  This happens when we step back and broaden our perspectives, allowing development to take on an unique course.

Often times, it is within the imperfection that beauty glimmers through.  The end result contains blood, sweat, and tears, worthy of joy.  Extending rigid boundaries, welcoming other's thoughts, and believing that the Divine works through us, carries the inspiration to unexpected completion.

 

Tears Cleanse Vision

"Her arms groped forward to guide her

when her tears blocked her vision in darkness."

Claire McNally

Determination to follow a dream can be hampered by overwhelm.  In spite of burning passion, one must be flexible with due dates, dead ends, and unsuspected events.  Creating a vague sketch assists the temperament when plans go awry.  

A craving for a fancy dessert or a delightful destination can be ruined by over planning and too high of an expectation.  This explains why people return from vacation exhausted and ill prepared to return to work or routine.

We can grasp a tiny seed without attachment.  We can nurture the idea, but ultimately let it grow on its own time and space.  Remain open to fresh ideas and be willing to ponder options.  Let tears cleanse our vision, readjusting in slight shadows. 

 

Cause and Effect

"Pray ... 

Somewhere in this world

Something good will happen."

Hafiz

If we no longer attend a church, our prayers may become requests for family or friends and tragic newspaper headliners.  Instead of prayers memorized to memory, we may begin to loosely gather words together.  As our concepts expand about everyone being connected, we might begin to include Mother Nature.

The definition of prayer stretches to include conversations with the spiritual world or practices with meditations and vision quests.  There are concerns expressed regarding world turmoil, disease, and violence.  Let us reach higher and project farther.

There is faith and trust that our prayers are heard, and quite frequently we are left not knowing if we have been helpful.  In the midst of the broad spectrum of those offering prayers, there are growing numbers of groups and individuals sending out prayers as energy or light to intervene or assist anyone in need.  When we are mindful, we can project kind thoughts to strangers: "Have an insightful day," or "May your loneliness be lifted".  This is far more rewarding than casting judgments and not having any  attachment to outcome.

 

In Front of Us

"When the big things feel out of control ...

focus on what you love right under your nose."

Charley Mackesy

Charley Mackesy is the author of The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and the Horse, which is filled with inspiration and simple kindness.  It presents, somewhat, as a children's book with sketches and hand lettering, but it is filled with uplifting thoughts.  (It would make a lovely surprise  host/hostess gift.)

Dreams are important, but it is even more vital to live fully in the present, no matter how it appears. If we feel overwhelmed, there is some thought or keepsake right in front of us waiting for engagement.  We can be thankful for what we see out our window or healthy lungs to breathe deeply or a friend just a text or phone call away.

We have the choice to sit in the heavy darkness or wander towards a brighter light.  As restrictions about quarantine lessen, visit Lowe's or Home Depot looking at all of the flowers waiting to burst. Browse in Michael's to get creative juices flowing.  Go to a park embracing all of the sites and animal activities.  Focus on something held dear and healthy emotions will be rekindled.

******THE BOY, THE MOLE, THE FOX AND THE HORSE

by Charley Mackesy

 

Control and Freedom

 

"What we eat is important to our sleep

and daily rhythms."

Emily Silva   

MOONLIGHT GRATITUDE

Basic habits create a specific role in our daily lives.  We all know to 'eat right' or 'get enough sleep', but do we remain consciously aware of this?  Do we wait until we are exhausted to gaze back over our chaotic life pattern to realize our own poor choices impacted energy levels?

There seems to be a routine we go through, not catching on to our own lack of accountability until the rinse or spin cycle. We are critical of our lovely selves without aligning a preventive or corrective  program.  

We may begin the week with exercise and appropriate eating, but as chaos builds, we begin to substitute  healthy eating resulting in less nutrition for healthy sleep patterns.  We freely, yet grudgingly, give up our personal space to the demands of others and then ponder where we went wrong. If we do not master our own control, freedom will be elusive.  

Need to Navigate

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself,

instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."

Judy Garland

I want to live my life easily without drama or judgment.  I would not be hampered by anxiety nor fear of being vulnerable.  

I would remain grounded, but spiritually aware.  My body would be physically stronger as I would respect the need for stretching all parts of the self.  

I would love and accept those around me, allowing them to have their own experiences.  I would have kindred spirits to share time with for diversity and challenge.  I would use my creativity more doing projects sthat make me feel alive and free.

Words Morph

"...when you choose that right thing to do, you are wise."

Israelmore Ayivor

A person can have letters of  the alphabet strung out behind his or her name reflecting education or status, but if what has been learned cannot be digested, there is no wisdom.  Application of learned information is regurgitating what is memorized in our mind; whereas, wisdom springs from internal knowings.

We can listen to the wisdom of a child as he or she expresses insight with depth.  We can experience wise words as they are passed down through our ancestors or sacred scripts.  We can observe the wisdom of an animal as it remains resting upon the burial site of his long time keeper.  There is wisdom in the trees if we are but still to hear.

Wisdom is different from obtained knowledge in that it stirs life within and triggers inspiration.  As we read words that take upon a vibration, we resonate with what is being shared.  Words morph into knowings filled with wisdom impacting our existence in a depth defying way.

Anger and Sorrow

"If you are patient in one moment of anger,

you will escape a hundred days of sorrow."

Chinese Proverb

Anger was prevalent while growing up, and I vowed never to be angry, which of course caused resentment, repression, and denial of how I felt.  Information about how to handle anger was never available nor was it role modeled.  Through reading, I finally became curious and learned actions like screaming into a pillow and yelling into my diary.

It is foolish to believe we will be able to avoid anger whether it is our own or someone else's. Through trial and error we begin to learn appropriate ways to voice our anger.  Ideally, we can remain silent until we can work through our inner anger, but there are times the present moment is when it needs to be stated.  It is wise to have respect for who is present, but to have an artillery of acceptable words helps us to speak our feelings.

As we advance further into life we become more skillful in choosing words that are appropriate and navigate challenges more articulate manner.  We will have compassion for others and maintain a wider view of life experiences.  We will not feel the drive to 'verbally' attack.  We will choose to listen without comment, still respecting our own personal views.

 

Adventure of the Gingko Leaf

"Nature is the high source of extreme happiness,

peace, pleasures, and a high motivation."

Aayush Verma

A beautiful warm day presented itself before me, with the sun shining and flowers opening, but no where to go.  As swiftly as I could think of a destination, my heart would say no.  My mind pulled up memories of walking with Mary or Cherrie or visits with Nan.  Then there was the Herb Festivals with Barb and the Spoon River Drive by the carload.

As I drove aimlessly down the highway, I opened my sun roof barely an inch.  I was feeling  thoroughly disconnected. And just like magic, a Gingko Leaf floated down through the slight space of my  sun roof!  This blessing of nature gently settled on my arm showing that I was not lost nor was I alone.  I laughed out loud as I felt an instant connection with all there is.  

I returned home carrying my precious leaf (not an oak or maple, but a GINGKO for heaven's sake) and sat out back listening to the birds and watching the clouds float by.  My heart filled with joy and my spirit took flight high up into the sky.