The View We Take In

"We are disturbed not by things, but by 

the view we make of them."

Epictetus

When I am truly enamored by someone, I stand before them with an open heart and a non-judgmental mind.  I consider what he or she says gladly and tend to agree.  When a person has offended me through thought, word or deed, my mind doesn't really listen, but filters all of the negative remarks for me to take issue with.  

In a story book for children, inserted were strips of colored see through paper one could hold up to the light.  One could view the world in red, blue, yellow or green.  As the reader lifted the eyes from the colored paper, the view around them was still tinted with color.  

Human beings go through life experiencing numerous incidents, each leaving an impression upon us whether we are cognizant or not.  As similar happenings appear, we align them with the past and immediately taint the view.  Dismantle this habit by living in each moment with the mind a clean slate. Begin anew, again and again with awareness.

 

Adorn Yourself Accordingly ...

Know first who you are,

and then adorn yourself

accordingly.

Epictetus

Stoic, AD 55

A few years ago, I was gathered with some women exploring our spiritual beliefs and personal truths.  The conversation wandered into a discussion about  the image we project onto others.  Unexpectedly, a very dear friend pointed at me and exclaimed, "Well, look at you.  You are all decorated like a tree!"   I was so caught off guard, I quickly withdrew into myself and allowed the conversation to move forward by saying, "Why thank you!" I felt embarrassed, defensive, and hurt. 

I tried very hard not to feel that this was a personal attack, but more of an observation regarding the diversity of women.  I believe that it was pointing out the differences between good friends. Later, in the safety of my home, I reviewed this bothersome remark.

When I no longer felt defensive, I began to explore the evolution of my dress code which ran parallel to the unfolding of my spiritual life.  All of the changes that occured on the inside of me, were eventually reflected on the outside.

As a little girl, I was dressed in feminine attire until I morphed into a 'tom boy'.  Entering a private college prep academy, I quickly realized I was totally out of my league in fashion.  When I left for college, I packed one pair of black flats and one pair of navy blue heels.  Fortunately, my college roommate and I were able to swap clothes frequently.  My interest in clothes accompanied my marriage, but was quickly replaced with pregnancies and booties. 

After having my three boys, I was gifted with a daughter on Mother's Day.  Into my life came patent leather shoes, little gloves, smocked dresses and matching bonnets.  There was enormous pleasure in dressing this beautiful child.

Once I returned to a professional career, years later, my respect for myself began to flourish.  I was not fanciful, but tailored clothes were a must.  It was during these later years that my spiritual self joined forces with my physical self producing a confidence that was reflected in some flair.

As my daughter entered a professional career, she too fashioned a style of her own, and repeatedly assisted in discovering designs suited for myself.  I had a multitude of shoes, suits and a casual wear.  I developed a very good sense of color scheme accented by unique jewelry.  I liked who I was and thoroughly enjoyed dressing in what reflected how I felt.

Self-discovery brought me to compassion and acceptance of myself.  Nurturing myself comforted my wounded child and love became possible.  In celebration, I adorned my body accordingly. 

Each of us will choose what feels comfortable on us.  Our apparel may change from hour to hour or day to day.   We may have a set uniform that we can live in repeatedly and indefinitely.  It does not matter, but realize there is choice for all of us.

Celebrate yourself! Be festive in your own way!  Use music, dance, and poetry to herald the unfolding of your beautiful self.  And if someone says you are lit up like a tree ... know your internal light and the loving kindness of your heart is shining through for all to see!

Genius Within

When you have shut your doors, and darkened your room, remember, never to say that you are alone, for you are not alone, but God is within, and your genius is within. 

                  Epictetus
                  Stoic, AD 55





The time will come when you are ready to slow down, to still your mind and discover the love, beauty, and understanding that awaits you.  As your spiritual growth deepens, truth becomes your simple guide through all that you desire to know.

In quietude, your mind begins to reflect emotions that are both healthy and unhealthy.  The challenge is to discern which are true and to discard that which is false.  It is time to cleanse your inner being of all that prevents you from moving forward.

Begin to explore what makes your life balanced.  Who is it that supports your desires and who is it that triggers a disconnect creating disharmony or lack of control.  Consider your values and what you want your life to represent.  Distance yourself from people who do not encourage you and let your personal space be filled with what you choose.

Fear can appear, but you must learn to step through it.  If you study the facts, you will discover that most of fear is just a 'feeling' and not truth.  Confront your fear and strive to understand why it is there. 

With each day, be mindful.  Monitor your thoughts so when they become negative, you can replace those thoughts with affirmations.  Live in the moment without dwelling in the past or projecting too far into the future.  If you feel fragmented, gently bring your mind back to the present and feel your heart spreading love throughout your being.

As you slow down, it is easier for you to simplify your life.  Through introspection and contemplation, you can bring peaceful change into your life.  In moments of solitude, the mystery of life slowly unfolds creating a spiritual attitude to support simple truths about life. 

It is important to empty your mind of negative or false beliefs so there is room for new concepts and truths.  Wisdom and knowledge easily take root when there is a nurturing place for them to grow.  You must make space by weeding out all that no longer serves you.

Becoming more familiar with the workings of your mind, you begin to realize what a powerful tool it can be.  By expanding your awareness, your intuition or gut-level feelings will become more apparent and useful.  Remember, you are always seeking the simple truth in any situation.

In many ways, you are the creator of the life you are living.  Through your personal choices, dreams, and inspirations, life begins to take on meaning.  If you allow negativity to dominate your thoughts, the outcome will be disharmony. 

Every morning, tune into your inner self.  Bring focus to your day with positive intentions and curiosity.  At mid-day, pay attention to how you are doing.  Do you feel a sense of balance or is your day going in some one else's direction?  When evening comes, consider ways to nurture your inner needs.  Speculate as to how you could have made your day better or what other resources you could have used for support.  At bedtime, be thankful and grateful for the mystery of your day.  Extend prayers and blessings to family and friends. 

Be still and recognize your goodness. 

You are everything you need.

Under Construction

In order to please others,

we loose hold on our

life's purpose.

Epictetus

Stoic, AD 55

It is not easy to define your self while you are transitioning through graduation, marriage, divorce, career or spiritual renewal.  Old identities are gently released, but there is a pause before the new identity is securely affixed. 

This time of 'pause' can be very uncomfortable.  Not having a label when mingling in public can be really quite unnerving.  It seems as though no one really respects the value of just being 'you' without a definite description. 

This is the unfortunate part of our society.  It appears that we our selves are more secure if we can place those around us in an appropriate box.  When we can label others, than we know more clearly where we stand.  In this knowing, we assess how comfortable or competitive we must be. 

There is so much more to personal growth, adding to self-definition and security when we can view all people as unique.  Instead of categorizing, we could use that energy to discover the authenticity of the individual standing before us.  Instead of posing the question, "What do you do," we could ask, "What lesson do you bring to me," or "What can I learn from you today?"  

If society could learn to celebrate each other rather than compete with each other, there would be a gathering of eclectic ideas that might just provide a more peaceful and healthy existence.  By embracing diversity, solutions might shift supporting more prosperous outcomes for all instead of for a few. 

So the next time you are experiencing a transition and a by-stander inquires about your status, just say you are "under construction" ...