"You can't solve a problem
from the state of mind that
created the problem."
Albert Einstein
Once a mother of four children, I learned to tell them: "If you demand an answer right this very minute, I will tell you no; but, if you give me time to think about it, the answer might be yes." This approach worked for a long time as it gave them hope and me pause to think clearly, and not upon demand.
Unfortunately, I did not apply this approach with my peers. I frequently responded under pressure, gave in wanting to please, and felt saying no was bad. I frequently found my self over committed, engaged in gatherings that held no interest for me, and I resented the waste of my time I had so freely given.
When I re-entered my career years later, I had the response once shared with my kids, firmly in place for all people. Especially with problem solving, 'thinking quickly on your feet' did not necessarily provide the best resolution. When I can allow space for a pause, I can observe with new eyes and become aware of a broader perspective that might be accepted by all involved.
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