"There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened
at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me."
Jane Austen
Over the years, I knowingly mastered the ability to drop a heavy wall around me at will. From an early age I felt the necessity of protection from others. Lack of trust and zero confidence left me feeling easily intimidated by others. It took great courage to navigate through younger years avoiding any form of intimidation.
Eventually, I understood my wall was not only keeping threats at a distance, it was also keeping nurturing experiences away as well. Working with emotional intuition, I was able to better detect when to lift or lower the wall. In time, I accepted the necessity of removing the wall all together.
When I was able to grow the light within me, my focus shifted to sending compassion and kindness to others, trusting I would be just fine. Centering myself by loving others as they were, taught me how to embrace my self just as I was. It is no longer about being frightened. It is about balance between loving and nurturing myself just as I love and nurture others.
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