“For in every adult there dwells the child that was,
and in every child there lies the adult that will be."
John Connolly
The Book of Lost Things
The child adapted to her alcoholic family. She was gregarious around people, frequently over looking her own needs just to please others. Growing up to be educated and creative, this child - woman singled out an alcoholic as her husband.
The adult adapted again to the alcoholism in her household and presented as a long time suffering woman, but a selfless wife and mother. She gave beyond a healthy boundary, forgetting her own gifts and talents. Late in life, her husband became a recovering alcoholic and received endless praise. The wife, no longer receiving attention as the victim, grew highly resentful against the positive attention her husband now received.
The bottom line in all relationships is the art of keeping self strong through personal development. With self-discovery and appreciation, we can then turn to our partner with great strength. The woman both as a child and a woman never honed in on her strengths, thus depending upon negative attention through victim hood. When we nurture and remain aware of our needs, we will no longer be dependent upon meeting the emotional needs of others, allowing our lovely selves to thrive!
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