"The primary course of unhappiness
is never the situation,
but your thoughts about it."
Eckhart Tolle
Denial has been a long time friend of mine. It introduced me to avoidance which in turn connected me with resistance. They became my family of choice. In my heart I believed they were excellent tools for survival, thinking this was very smart of me.
It has taken repetitious trips into my past to excavate what had been buried beneath these terrible three ... denial, avoidance, and resistance. Memories were altered by time and additional experiences. Emotions tightly wrapped bundles of fragmented history into one. Recollections surfaced and I dealt with them according to where I happened to be in my mind. This was not always successful nor in any way healing.
Thankfully, I have learned to widen the scope into my past. Yes, there was this trauma, but what else was going on? I begin to see images of more positive elements. Out side of my immediate arena, I displayed different sides of myself. With silent exploration, I begin to feel a sense of pride in how I succeeded in spite of my limitations. To focus on my strengths slowly removed the numerous applications of denial. Exploring truth, opened avenues to travel rather than avoiding reality in some imagined dark alley. Prying open my tunnel vision, the view became less painful. Glimpses of light drew me closer to living a happier life.
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