“In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!”
― Dave Barry
Brainwashing was interrupted when I was a child. I attended a Roman Catholic School, a Lutheran Church, and my neighborhood was Jewish. The individual teachings of each sector drew questions in my expanding brain as to who really had the 'true' faith. One can only imagine what happened to my ever stretching brain when I encountered the belief system of Jehovah Witnesses. In my less educated mind, still innocent, I truly pondered the inconsistencies of the surrounding wisdom. When one lives in a city, one is exposed to diversity which I found to be curiouser and curiouser.
My understanding of people came from observing them in depth. In little ways, I found it rather easy to find the heart within each person. It was a bit like Halloween with everyone dressed differently, but ah, the heart, was always there, waiting to be loved. We all had feelings and felt as though we were judged. Opinions were formed by personal experience and how we had been treated or mistreated. Assumptions were made and competition thrived in spite of us all yearning for the same.
Unfortunately, I was one of those little kids who was always asking, "What is your favorite color? What is your favorite food? Who is your favorite person?" Looking back, I wonder who taught me to focus on one and only one choice. Why couldn't I embrace all things having temporary shifts of preference. The word favorite sounds so exclusive and limiting.
When my youngest son was little, I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He immediately responded, "A fire truck." I laughed and corrected him by saying, "Oh you mean a fire man!" He looked me right in the eye like I was totally ignorant and repeated, "No. A fire truck." Thank goodness I had the sense to let it be. How easily we squelch other peoples dreams.
So as we grow deeper into the holy days, let us try to embrace the diversity of others, both big and small. We don't have to condone, but we really need to respect each other. As families gather, our children watch our behaviors as much as we observe theirs. We can't expect them to act differently then who we have allowed them to be all year and it confuses them to see us not reflecting what we have preached all along.
Integrity, for me, is defined by who we are when no one is watching. Who that person is, is the one I carry with me into this holy season whether it leads me into church or synagogue, but hopefully not a wall.
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