Sentence and Metaphor

 

"No" is a complete sentence.

― Anne Lamott

 

 

 

The house, porch, yard, and fence create a wonderful metaphor.   Think of the  self as the house and visualize the porch, yard, and fence as the community.  There are some folks who walk up and down the sidewalk who we do not speak to at all.  Then there are people we choose to chat with over the fence, but we do not give them entry into the yard.  We may open the gate to still a smaller group of people, allowing them into our yard for a friendly gathering.  There are fewer still we invite to sit on our porch swing sharing stories.  Then there may be just a handful we might actually welcome inside to authentically experience us.  And even then, we may entertain some socially in the living room, others for coffee in the kitchen, and just one or two to step into our private space.

 

This metaphor gives us a picture of how we can maintain healthy boundaries.  We can easily be caught up in the rush of the season and make choices that are really not heartfelt.  When we are faced with social obligations, run the event through the metaphor deciding on the appropriate place these people can be appropriately. 

 

We get to choose what is best for us.  We get to make decisions that are in our best interest.  When we do not, we pay a price.  Keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with replying "no".   We sometimes forget that yes and no are equal responses.  One is not better (good girl)and the other lesser than (bad girl).

 

We may want to practice saying "no" so we can use it as a simple response without a lengthy dialogue following.  We do not need a story to back up our decision.  As Anne Lamott states:  "No is a complete sentence."