"There is no satisfaction that can compare with looking back
across the years and finding you've grown in self-control,
judgment, generosity, and unselfishness."
Ella Wheeler Wilcox
When younger, I self-appraised my lovely self, and realized all forms of anger were avoided or denied. I would own the situation and accept responsibility for it so I would not have to yell harsh words.
Even as I grew older, my tolerance for displays of anger were unacceptable. I would walk into another room, leave entirely, or find another way to numb myself against the rising tension and violence. My belly became a hot and roiling pit of black tar.
Eventually, I also coined healthier responses to anger that did not impact my own emotional makeup. "I can see that you are upset now ...." or "Perhaps when you are calmer ..." I have experienced people who do not want you to fix them, but rather to listen. I have witnessed the importance of being the innocent by stander who exerts personal control, no judgment, and a heart filled with compassion.
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