Working in social services, I would visit a new client only after reading their lengthy history filled with every hardship imaginable encompassing drugs; alcohol; sexual, emotional, and physical abuse; homelessness; violence; etc...
When I entered the person's space, I would always begin by saying, "Tell me about yourself. Tell me how you got involved in all of this and how you see me helping." Then from that conversation, I would truly see where this person's view blended and ignored reality. Documentation is one thing, but it is best to start where the individual perceives herself to be, and so, that is where I would begin.
Human beings long to be seen just as they are without bargaining or prostituting themselves. Many unacceptable behaviors are distress signals saying, "See me!" Unfortunately, many people seek the extreme just to get some sense of validation.
When we truly listen to one and other, looking each other in the eye, without displaying judgment, we can truly be seen. To feel safe in the presence of someone who will not judge allows us to unfold both the good and the ugly.
As I cross paths with anyone, I try to remember that we are all children of the Universe. God loves all of us the same. A Goddess encourages all of mankind. We are the students just as we are the teachers. We each trigger an emotional or physical experience as an opportunity to learn.
When I look at you, I see creativity, abilities, originality, vulnerability, fear and passion. I am encouraged and inspired. I admire your diversity and determination. I am eager to witness the story of your life as you alone know it. I really do see you!
Will you take the time and patience to see me? You may recognize a piece of yourself well hidden within me. We can learn from each other.
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