Oxymorons Replacing Criticism ...

Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough

to nourish a man's growth without

destroying his roots.

Frank Howard Clark

Earlier on, I did a post on oxymorons, one of my favorite tools while processing.  (See post on this blog entitled, EXTROVERTED HERMIT and ORGANIZED PROCRASTINATOR, April 8, 2011)  An oxymoron is a figure of speech in which contradictory terms are combined. By using oxymorons, there is no judgment, but rather observation and comparison.

So instead of criticizing my self in absolutes, such as either black or white, I can own both qualities.  I am black and I am white.  I can embrace my essence in entirety, rather than focusing with criticism on just one part.

By viewing two opposites, there is a larger picture to explore.  Many pieces can come together, creating a landscape rather than a snapshot.  This can be likened to making an observation with eyes squinted, softening ridges into blended hues, instead of using a piercing gaze scrutinizing a small detail.

Be gentle with your 'self' using words of kindness, applying a positive spin.  This will bring balance and encouragement.  Softly remove the derogatory comments so that all of your energy can be used to establish new growth without destroying any roots.

A Simple Thought ...

We keep moving forward,

opening new doors and

doing new things

because we're curious and

curiosity keeps leading us

down new paths.

Walt Disney

A simple thought can trigger imagination and explode with creativity.  If the idea is lavished with vibrant color, plush texture, and rich emotion,  the possibilities are endless!  If we do not support the original thought,  however, it will simply float away. 

In the book, MANIFESTING CHANGE by Mike Dooley, a great deal of emphasis is placed on "thoughts becoming things".  The book encourages the use of creative visualization as an exercise in perpetuating your creative ideas or desires. 

These are Mike Dooley's Six Guidelines to Creative Visualization:

1. Visualize once a day.
2. Visualize no longer than five to ten minutes at at time.
3. Imagine every conceivable detail.
4. Feel the emotion.
5. Put yourself in the picture.
6. Dwell from the end result - or beyond.

"When visualizing, go to the finished picture, where your dream has already come true," states Mike Dooley. This point is very vital.  You must act as though the visualization has already manifested.  All of your senses must be attuned with the vision being real. 

For example, let us create the desire to be vacationing at the ocean...

Sitting comfortably, breathe in and out slowly and relax, while you close your eyes. 

In your mind's eye, see a beach and place as much detail in the picture as you can, like birds in the sky or shells being washed up on the shore. 

Listen to the roar of the waves, or the movement of the tree branches while you feel the sand warm beneath your feet.  

(Be certain to place your self in the picture!)

Feel your body relaxing in a lounge chair, holding a nice cold drink in your hand. 

Taste the delicious drink circulating in your mouth. 

Fill this imaginary scene with emotions as though it were all happening right in this very moment.  Make it as real as you possibly can.

By vibrantly repeating this imagery as part of a daily routine, intentions are sent out into the Universe.  By taking actions towards a goal, the support of the Universe is attracted.

  A NOTE FROM THE UNIVERSE

Did you know that whenever you think

a brand new thought,

however fleeting,

there are switches flicked here?

Buttons pressed?

Levers thrown?

Banners unfurled?

Wheels turned?

Hats tipped?

Winks winked?

Angels sent?

Connections made and conga lines formed?

For starters.

You wouldn't even believe me if I told you

what happens when you visualize.

Yeah, a lot a lot.

The Universe

Old Souls ...



Baby souls follow.

Young souls lead.

But old souls, Virginia, are happy

to dance alone.

The Universe

http://www.tut.com/

What No Longer Is ...

Time is like water

flowing out of a pitcher...

my cup runneth over.

You have tricked me once again,

pulling me out of the safety

of residing in the present moment.

You have engulfed me in the sadness

of what has passed,

weighing me down with emotions

heavy as drowning water.

You projected my senses

far into the future,

swirling me

into lurking stagnant waters

until overwhelmed by fear.

Gasping for air,

reaching for safety in detachment,

my energies are saturated

by emotions splayed across my sacred silent space.

Once again,

gathering that which was,

I search for a place

to store this collection

of what no longer is.

  

You Are My Sunshine ...

The only reason we don't open our hearts and minds

to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to

deal with.  

                                  ~Ane Pema Chodron



My morning meditation includes the daily writings in THE BOOK OF AWAKENING by Mark Nepo.  A lovely spiritual friend named Delinda brought this author to my attention last January and I have been hooked ever since.

This morning, Mark Nepo's entry nudged me to think about my involvement with others, or perhaps more aptly put, my some times lack of involvement.  How do we establish a healthy boundary so that we can be of service, but not get enmeshed in the drama of others?


Excerpt from Mark Nepo:

     It goes as far back as Jesus and Buddha, and the miracle of such spirits is that they show us that there is some basic clear element in each of us, like water, which can glow without a name, which can allow the pain and grief of others in without turning us into just pain and grief.

     Many traditions speak to this.  We call it love
when we do this for another and compassion when
we hold this intention for all living things.  The
Tibetan Buddhist traditions has a meditation
practice called TONG-LEN that asks us to breathe in the suffering of the world, to hold it in that unbreakable place of compassion, and to then breathe back light.

     The beauty of such a practice is that it assumes and affirms that there is something timeless and indestructible within each of us that can heal us and the world if we can just open ourselves to it.


                 ___________________________


                                                         
"The basic clear element" within me is light.  It is gentle and non-invasive.  As I wander through my day, if I see a person who is lonely or appears to be suffering, I cover them with light from their head to their toes.  It feels like I am gently blessing them, and swiftly moving over them with a wave of loving kindness.  In a blink of an eye, my exchange is complete.  It is as though I am working with sunshine, lifting a sadness for at least a brief passing moment in time. 

Extending loving light towards some one costs nothing.  The only requirement is to remember you have this natural ability
to extend gentleness towards all living things.  You are extending light out into the world, and making a difference without adding any expense or drama to your busy life. 

Pass your light along and it will be replenished ten fold.  Grace a lovely flower with a dose of light, surround a child's cherub face with imagined sunshine, or beam a direct stream of light into the heart of an elder. 

You are my sunshine

my only sunshine.

You make me happy

when skies are gray.

You'll never know dear

how much I love you.

Please don't take

my sunshine away!

PUSH!

When one door closes

another door opens;

but we so often look so long

and so regretfully

upon the closed door

that we do not see the ones

which open for us.

~Alexander Graham Bell



The concept of one door closing while another opens has always been one of my favorite.  So much so, many years ago I entitled my private community counseling service as OPEN DOORS.  My intent was for all people to know that they were welcome and that there were always options waiting to be discovered behind doors.  Sometimes we just have to PUSH!

As transition moves us either figuratively or physically from one place to another, the sound of the closing door is always a lonely one.  If we are running away emotionally or physically, the sound of feet slapping against the pavement produces anxiety.  If we linger too long in the space between the closing and the opening door, we may find ourselves stuck in darkness.  This is when we must gather strength and PUSH against the awaiting door.

As the door swings open, light once again filters into us and a deep breath of fresh air fills us.   We find hope and courage waiting for our approach, to lead us forward into the new.

"Don't spend time beating on a wall,

hoping to transform it into a door."

~Coco Chanel

Blessings of the Day

When I moved here, one of the first things I did was to erect my bird feeders.  It is such a simple thing to feed the birds, and for years now,  I had missed extending kindness to these feathered friends. 

I found the perfect spot not far from the patio.  It is a circular area of

trees that can be seen from the den, bathroom, and my bedroom.  My

daughter had been keeper of my feeders, so it was fun to resurrect them.
I also arranged my favorite bird bath that my son gifted to me years ago
along with the feeders.

Sunflower seeds for the song birds, wild bird feed for the ground feeders, and thistle for the finches.  The Mourning Doves, Cardinals, Blue Jays all appeared without much hesitation.  I was especially waiting for the little yellow finch to arrive, but not even one came around.  

In the Beginning, by Karen Armstrong, the author discusses Genesis and describes Abraham as a man who "had imagination to look beneath the unpromising surface of events and to realize that blessing is not always found in the most obvious places."  Today, I felt this was true.

While cleaning the bathroom, I glanced out the window.  My heart filled with joy as there on the thistle feeder, after so many weeks,  was a perfectly yellow finch accompanied by a friend.  As the bird turned towards the window, I felt its presence and I knew in my heart that my day had been blessed!

THE HELP by Kathryn Stockett

You know you've read a good book

when you turn the last page

and feel a little as if

you have lost a friend.

Paul Sweeney



THE HELP written by Kathryn Stockett is a very impressive book.  The subject matter, characters, and settings pale only in the light of the rich lessons illuminated in this story.  If you have not read this book, do your self a favor

and cuddle up with a copy.

There are those who serve, and those who demand to be served. 

Which one will you choose to be ...

AGGRANDIZE with Gold ...

When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold.  They believe that when something's suffered damage and has history, it becomes more beautiful.  

~Barbara Bloom


Old vases have always drawn my attention.  I have quite a collection from flea markets, gifts received, and 'memory pieces' from departing friends.  By collection, I mean a gathering of items that 'speak' to me and not necessarily having any significant monetary value. 

As I have moved so many times over the years, I frequently will notice a hair line crack in a piece that apparently had not been packed as well as I had intended.  I'll still use the piece, but will turn the imperfect side to the back.  If there is a chip, I try to arrange the flowers to hang over the side hiding the flaw.  Chips, cracks, or discoloration are always turned to the back.

When I read the words of Barbara Bloom about the Japanese practice to aggrandize cracks with gold, finding beauty in the history, it made me think about life in general.  How would we be different if after surviving a damaging experience, we would celebrate survival?  What if we stopped hiding imperfections and honored the lesson learned or strength received?  Do you suppose if we could see each others history of struggle we would not be as threatened by each other ... that we would perhaps be joined by similarities rather than separated by the sense of irregularities?

Society seems to be riddled with shame and guilt causing the repression of events and emotions that have negatively impacted life.  I do not suggest highlighting trauma that has devastated life, but rather creating respect and recognizing the resiliency of the human spirit.  If we filled our gaping wounds with gold after cleansing/healing, patching the broken piece back into place with the whole, we would be more inclined to move forward with a sense of respect than hanging heads as damaged goods.

We are all on a journey, suffering and learning, collecting cracks, chips, and discoloration.  Let us use compassion as the gold to fill the brokenness of others so that they may move forward in life with grace and beauty.

RISKING EVERYTHING by Roger Housden

Excerpt from Introduction:
RISKING EVERYTHING by Roger Housden

     Yet it is precisely the crack in our lives that can let the light pour through.  We do not spring into life perfectly formed.  We each have our fault lines, and it is not by turning away from them that life suddenly takes on its full glory.  No, I believe that we come to our fullness not in spite of our darkness, but in the embrace of it. 

Light into the Darkness ...

We are not stuck with the brain we were born with,

but have the capacity to willfully direct

which functions will flower and

which will wither ...

which emotions flourish and

which are stilled.

TRAIN YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR BRAIN

by Sharon Begley

When we think we have no choice, it feels as though we are a victim and become immobilized by fear.  If we can believe that we have options, we become empowered.

It is a matter of where we place our focus.

Like it or not, we all have a 'dark side'.  We can deny this, hide from it or repress it, but it remains truth.  The negative side of personality can dominate if it is allowed full reign or it can be tempered through awareness and understanding.

Over the years, I have learned to embrace my own 'dark side', but this became possible only after I learned to love and accept myself.  It was self-defeating to try to tame that which hid in the dark when I was not dealing from strength. 

When wounded, we cannot sufficiently fight or overcome a battle.  We must heal first and then advance with strength.  Learning to focus on our positive characteristics, we begin to grow self-love, honor and respect.  Armed with personal awareness, we can begin to honestly face what challenges prevent us from being whole.

By learning to appreciate my good qualities, I felt as though a small flicker of light was beginning to glow within me.  As I began to forgive and accept my self, the light began to dance and become more energetic.  When the candle glimmer turned into an unyielding flame, I was able to turn and gently walk fully into my darkness. 

When we enter the challenge equipped with hope and understanding, we are more able to recognize that which hides.  Bringing light into the darkness, we can be more accepting and apply discernment without judgment.  "We did the best we could at that time with the knowledge we had," is a beautiful affirmation to help through this process.

Our uncompromising light enters into the darkness until the dark is no more.  We begin to feel lighter, buoyant and illuminating, adding even more brilliance to what remains in the creases and wrinkles of forgotten times.  We become a beacon to others.

What we find in the darkness doesn't necessarily disappear, but where we place our focus determines the balance.  We know we have choice to walk in our light creating a full and loving path to follow. 

                               "This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine...

                                 Hide it under a bushel, no!  I'm going to let it shine ...

             Don't let darkness blow it out!  I'm going to let it shine ... "

Embracing Change

Some of us think holding on

makes us strong;

but sometimes it is letting go.

Herman Hesse

The natural rhythm of life is change, often being likened to passage down a river.  Sometimes we float along at a comfortable pace, enjoying the tree lined views along the river beds while other times we are caught in a current swiftly moving so fast that we can barely hang on!

When evaluating our life or  making assessments, we desire change or improvement even when we are uncertain as to how the appropriate adjustments will impact our routine.  It frequently feels like we travel at a snail's pace, waiting for change to come, and yet when it does, we seldom are truly prepared.

While making life changing decisions, we may feel ill prepared or uncomfortable without having a detailed plan in our hand.  We may become overwhelmed finding everything to be too complicated or obscure.  It is tempting to find a fast forward button to cut through the process and safely arrive at the end result.

The process, however, is the important part and not to be rushed through.  We must pass through this stage with awareness and creativity.  If we are creating something new, we want it to be fresh and not just a duplicate of what we have just outgrown.  Each and every thought contributes to this movement forward.  The people we come into contact or opportunities that present themselves must all be noticed for the significance they hold. 

Rather than trying to have each and every detail outlined,  we can attempt to move through transition with a more spiritual approach.  Every morning before stirring from bed, we can feel love in our heart...even if you need to pretend.  Then we can anticipate a day filled with new insights that will lead us to a deeper sense of how to orchestrate a fulfilling life.  People coming into our presence may bring love and we need to be mindful to extend love to them as well.  By this I mean to project good will either silently or through body language, creating a space for pleasant exchange. 

The process of change is a learning experience, a time to sort through what no longer serves us.  We must surround our self with those who support us and limit the the time with those who diminish our spirit.  It is a time to seek out the truth of who we are and what we are really trying to attract into our life. 

Rather than feeling overwhelmed, we can slow down and gently embrace the change that approaches.  Instead of anxiety and attempts to control, maintain a sense of love believing that the Universe/Divine/God is bringing goodness into our life.  Trust that goodness is coming and be patient. 

Our future is unfolding and each situation we face is merely a stepping stone leading us to where we are meant to be.  By using love as our approach rather than fear, we will discover meaningful guidance and arrive safely upon our chosen shore.

LITTLE BEE by Chris Cleave

If you are looking for a good read, get a hold of
LITTLE BEE by Chris Cleave.  It took the first few chapters before I connected, but this will be one of my favorites.

It will rekindle a passion you once had ... being a loving human being in spite of circumstance. 

No Need To Go To India



There is no need to go to India

or any where else to find peace.

You will find that deep place of silence

right in your room,

your garden,

or even your bath tub.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross



This weekend has been filled with laughter, good food, and excellent conversation.  To have good friends temporarily residing in your space lifts the heaviness of life and allows bubbles of happiness to reach the surface.

Returning to solitude, I realize that too often I make life too complicated, dig too deeply, and spend too much time in my head analyzing.  Where is my faith?  Where do I place my trust?  Worrying never accomplishes anything.

We must do our part by creating a desire or image of how we want our life to be, but then we must detach.  We must trust the process.  Stuart Wilde says, "Life was not meant to be a struggle."  We must have faith that Divine Spirit will provide.

Instead of being anxious or doubtful, we can use our energy to be steadfast and joyful.  We can be creative and hopeful, anticipating the dream yet to unfold.  Like a child excitedly holding a special secret inside, we can wear big smiles while carrying our vision within. 

Today I think I will place all of my worries into my 'worry jar' and sit outside on the patio with my bubble machine.  I will fill each bubble with happy thoughts as they gently float up into the sky...

The Journey by Mary Oliver

THE JOURNEY

by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice -

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you did not stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations -

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by litte,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice,

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do -

determined to save

the only life that you could save.

Knot Again!

Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.

author unknown

Honoring my decision to explore Kundalini Yoga even farther, I ventured to my third class.  This particular session was entitled NAAM YOGA and Meditation, being presented by a teacher that I had yet to experience.  The brief description stated, "Naam Yoga practice will cultivate the fearlessness to face negativity and transmute it into positivity for your self, others and the situations that you face. "  The focus was to be on opening the heart, increasing intuition, and stimulating self-healing of the body and mind.

I had already attended the INTRO TO KUNDALINI Class and the YIN YOGA Class.  I felt I was still searching for the perfect balance between stretch and meditation guided by a teacher I felt connected to.  While reading the description of NAAM YOGA, I grasped words like open heart, intuition, and self-healing.  To me, these words depicted gentleness, calm, and relaxation, but intead, I found myself being tied into knots. 

Although challenged, I was able to keep up with this fast paced class to the end.  My shirt and pants were soaked to the skin, but my body, not so gracefully, unknotted itself feeling like a champion!  I have never experienced such an intense workout ... and probably not again any time soon, either.

Yoga continues to physically stretch my body which it definitely needs, and the time spent in yoga meditation is leading me back into connection with my inner self.  Yoga is positively impacting my body, mind, and spirit. 

Perhaps yoga is not your choice and that is perfectly fine; however, there is an abundance of practices out there just waiting for you.  Creative Dance, Qi Gong, Tai Chi, Zumba, Pilates, and Martial Arts are just a few of the many available options.  Moving your body cultivates respect and discipline. 

Come on! Explore an adventure that is just waiting for you!

Weaving A Pattern Into A Tapestry

Women have always been the weavers of the world, literally and figuratively.  We weave people together, we weave the experiences of life into patterns, and we weave our stories into words. 

SHE WALKS IN BEAUTY by Caroline Kennedy

We all have a story containing a pattern rich in color, but perhaps imperfect with a snag here and there or a bit of unraveling.   Each story is unique as we do not experience life the same, so our chosen words shape the listener's perception.

We must become storytellers whether it is through the written word or oral tradition.  In the telling of our experiences, insight frequently creeps in that had not been present before and the ones embracing the story may learn a valuable lesson to be carried in the heart, long after we are gone.

It is through the act of sharing that we become bonded with others.  As we use our voice to speak out, another may be encouraged to relate a personal story in return.  And so the weaving continues with intricate patterns displaying unfolding wisdom which creates the tapestry of your life.

Wanna' Spoon?

One thing I know:

The only ones among you

who will be really happy

are those who will have sought

and found how to serve.

Albert Schweitzer

There is a story about a guide taking a man on tour to see the difference between hell and heaven.  The door to hell is opened and the tourist is shocked to see tables filled with food as though it were a banquet.  He looks around the room and notices that all of the people in hell look emaciated in spite of all the food.  They are standing around moaning and groaning from starvation.  As he looks closer, he sees that the spoons that were being held were longer than the arms of the people,  so the food could not get into their mouths.  "This is hell," the guide explained.

The next door they come to leads to heaven.  Upon opening it, the man takes in the same view.  Tables are overflowing with food, but instead of moaning and groaning, the people in heaven were laughing and enjoying each other.  They, too, have the same long spoons, and are incapable of feeding themselves;  however, they have learned to feed each other.

In his book, A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE, author Alan Cohen writes,  "When we take care of another, we fulfill our highest function as divine beings.  We can feed each other on many levels:  physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  There is no greater joy and service than to fill one another with whatever we have to share."

Using the gifts and talents that you have been blessed with consider those who surround you.  Then decide how you can best serve them in your own unique and creative way.  There is much we can give in very simple ways, such as a smile or a hug.

We all have the same spoons to feed and nurture.  How will you use yours?  If you are living in a man made hell, perhaps you have been serving only your self and simply need to feed another. 

The Yoga Mat

The yoga mat is a good place

to turn

when talk therapy

 and anti-depressants

aren't enough.

Amy Weintraub

Things are still pretty unsettled here at the house even though the living room, dining room, and kitchen areas are looking great.  The family room is almost complete and then on to the finishing touches in my bedroom.  I am leaving the computer room to the very last, so journals, articles, newsletters, and binders are all just stashed into a temporary hold.

I needed another break today, so I slipped on over to the Kundalini Yoga Studio.  I participated in Yin Yoga which focuses on maintaining postures for extended periods to open up deep and tense areas in the connective tissues, joints, bones and ligaments.   Like other forms of yoga, Yin unravels deep physical and emotional holding patterns to help soothe stress.  The instructor was very good at leading the class through the meditative positions.

There are still a few more classes I am wanting to experience:  Gentle Kundalini, Naam Yoga and Meditation, and Recovery Yoga.   Each class is taught by a different yoga teacher so I am wanting to attend all of them before deciding which is best for me.

My body and spirit are glad to be back on the yoga mat even though I feel a few aches and pains.  Using my body in yoga helps to build better flexibility and higher self-esteem.  I am beginning to feel like I am using all of my body more fluidly and posturing myself in a much more confident way!

Who Will Tell ...

Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.

                             Erich Fromm

Bent Out of Shape ...

If I'm losing balance in a pose,

I stretch higher and

God reaches down

to steady me. 

It works every time

and not just in yoga.

Terri Guillemets



Kundalini Yoga caught my attention!  My body had been bent out of shape from moving heavy boxes, pushing and pulling furniture, and carrying stress.   I needed some gentle movement for my physical well being and the meditation portion would be a bonus.

Attending class, I was thankful to not be the only 'first timer' to this particular yoga studio.  The teacher was engaging, kind, and observant which resulted in a positive experience.  Kundalini Yoga is focused on breathwork which I found to be easier to do than I initially thought.  The yoga positions were somewhat challenging while knowing they would eventually become more intense as the class progressed.

While backing out of the parking lot, I immediately noticed that I had a wider range of movement in my neck and shoulders.  The short drive home was long enough to realize I was calm and peaceful.  All was right in my world.

I must admit, however, that the experience brought up a longing for my friend Nancy who has been a yoga instructor for over a few decades.  She is also a member of my women's circle, a sister of my heart.  She is one of those teachers who doesn't just sit and direct.  She becomes engaged with each student, observing efforts so that she can offer kind suggestions to which the student happily responds, "Oh, that is so much better!"

Nancy introduced me through yoga to poets such as:  Mary Oliver, David Whyte, and John O'Donohue to name just a few.  Her hypnotic voice beckons you easily into the world of meditation.  Anyone who has experienced Nancy has nothing but praise for her abilities and kindness.  She is encouraging, supportive, and well versed in the world of yoga.

I suggest you visit her wonderful blog: 

http://nanyoga-alongthepath.blogspot.com/  

You'll be glad you did! 
Namaste

Best Medicine

Laughter is one of the best medicines around

for relieving stress and

for creating a more healthy spirit.

~Byron Pulsifer

Internal Massage

A good, real, unrestrained, hearty laugh

is a sort of glorified internal massage,

performed rapidly and automatically.

   ~Quotations for Special Occasions

      by Maud van Buren, but author unknown

No Water Under the Bridge ...

The darkest night is often

the bridge

to the brightest tomorrow.

Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"Water under the bridge" is an old saying reflecting that a particular episode or personal feelings have been let go and the water's current has pulled

them on down stream.  In other words, the event has been processed and no longer impacting your life.

A few months ago, I traveled to an area near Asheville, North Carolina.  The journey there, attending the women's retreat, and the journey back home was absolutely magical.  Playing the Transformation Game throughout the five day span intensified this experience and created an intimacy amongst the four of us while traveling together and sharing rooms.

The trip to Isis Cove was important to me as I had set an intention that could alter the direction of my life.  My spiritual path had been expanding in depth and I questioned how to complete my worldly tasks in the remaining years of my life.  I had hoped that insights and experiences while with these 60 women would symbolically create a bridge, linking my present life with my projected dreams.  In my mind, I framed this intention as "Aligning my stars".

By the time I returned home, the construction of my bridge was nearly completed and the ink on my map to the future was almost dry. In a matter of months, my eight year relationship came to a close while doors of opportunity opened elsewhere.  Upon relocation, physical unpacking distracted me from the stress, emotion, and sense of loss building within me.

During a meditation, I envisioned my bridge recalling the journey across.  As I stood in the middle of my bridge, leaning against the railing, I looked down into the water ... except there was not any water flowing under the bridge!  How odd I thought.  Water is symbolically emotion and I knew I had plenty of that! 

In this meditative state, I glanced further down the rock bed to see where the water might be.  To my surprise there was a beaver dam that was holding all of the water back.  What could this mean to me?

After my meditation, I turned to one of my favorite resources, ANIMAL-SPEAK by Ted Andrews and looked up the meaning of beavers.  "Water has long been associated with emotions and with dreams.  One of the most common dreams the average person has it to have a home and a family.  This is embodied by the beaver.  It lives in a close-knit family, and beavers will mate for as long as both are alive.  If beaver has appeared in your life, it can reflect the opportunity to build upon your dreams." 

Exploring this information, taking it within me, applying it to my own situation, I began to realize that I had been under an adrenaline rush for two months if not more.  I had been driving myself,  a physical race to completion of moving. I had built a dam, repressing my emotional fears and tears. 

This began to make more sense to me.   If I had not processed my emotions, if they were blocked by a dam, I really could not let water pass under my bridge.  So one by one, I removed each broken limb that shored my sadness, loss, and loneliness. 

Today I stand on my bridge, sun shining on my face, and water gurgling as it gently flows beneath me.  My family draws near, my home is emotionally and physically nurturing, and I am ready to embrace all of my brightest tomorrows.

 

 



Life's Spiritual Highways

In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path to a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness.  Our life is a long and arduous quest after truth.

                                            ~Mahatma Gandhi
                                                   1869-1948


This morning my daily meditations did not quench the thirst I had for inspiration.  I pulled out a few favorite authors and gathered in a new book, searching for quotations that would support my morning musings.

In my older books, I found favorite passages that had been underlined or highlighted.  A certain time or place seemed to accompany the words underscored.   Memories flirted through my mind, not all being pleasant.  

In earlier years, I seemed to believe that I was always a 'better' person when I was in a committed relationship.  I believed that when coupled, I had a stronger base that allowed me to search my truths.  Scanning my intimate relationships, I realized that the exact opposite was actually true.  Every relationship called for me to be 'smaller' rather than greater, not embracing  any sense of who I was trying to become.

Then my fires were fueled by participating in classes, workshops, and seminars.  Years later it seemed that I could be teaching the very classes I found myself being the student.  Then there were teachers who finally escorted me on my way to fend for myself, and not to become a simple follower.

One of life's little rules reflects that when we stop chasing what we want, it has room to finally turn around and approach us.  So it is when we stop running, chasing, or pursuing our search for who we really are, we learn to be strong enough to stand in stillness.   It is in this self defined silence that answers seem to appear.

It can be frightening to be still and sense the wisdom flowing through our consciousness.   That which we sought after gently comes to us and we respond in fear.  We doubt our sanity, we question what appears to us, and we find our inner self being repressed.  Once again, we start with the running or chasing.  We run from our own wisdom even though it is what we had pursued.

Free will allows us to roam life's spiritual highways, until Divine finally nudges back in the right direction...inwards.  This time around we are more capable of accepting the inner truths and respecting the integrity of our personal longing.  It is only after we strip away the layers of earlier learning, the conditioning, that we can finally discover the wisdom being passed down througout the centuries.

"Silence is a source of great strength," states Lao Tzu. 

When we grow comfortable with our spiritual quietude, and learn a greater sense of  who we are, our voices grow strong.  We feel safe being present in any given moment, articulating our truth, and finding safe passage down Life's Spiritual Highway.