Friday, June 10, 2011

Losing Your Vision




He asked,"Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?"
St. Anthony replied, "Yes, losing your vision."

Throughout my life, I have had a sense that my life purpose was pretty basic and it was not to be esteemed grandeur.  Repeatedly, a foreknowledge would impress itself upon me, but I was way too easily distracted to remain focused on an ideal.  For years, just below the surface, a lofty musing entertained my imagination about who I was meant to be. 

There seemed to be a dance I did, learning the steps along the way.  It was not something eloquent like a waltz or speedy like the jitterbug.  It was more like a dawdle between religion and spirituality.  One day I decided that I needed to either step completely onto a spiritual path or give it up forever.

Once committed to finding spiritual passage, I devoured books, used creative visualization and meditation.  I began to learn energy work and like a snake, shed my old skin during the Dark Night of the Soul.  For almost one year, I felt like a computer that had its memory wiped clean leaving no files or documents for me to find my way. 

Facing the opportunity to start anew, I was kindled by passion, but I still managed to wander off my path a time or two or three or four.  It seemed that every time I had a very strong sense of my life purpose, I allowed some one else to label it as 'pie in the sky' or a 'pipe dream' or  a 'fool's quest' and willingly began to follow their dream. 

Each and every time or two or three or four, my loss of vision, my incomplete quest, and my intense sense of inner lack lured me back onto my path.  One day I was forced to acknowledge that I only had just so many years left, and whatever it is I was meant to do in this life, I really needed to get it done, and quickly!

Accepting and embracing my vision to finally step fully into my role as author and energy worker, the Universe has walked along beside me as though it were a gentleman, opening doors and escorting me to where I needed to go.

With the encouragement and support of both family and friends, I feel fueled with energy ready to meet the tasks that lay before me.  Yes, I am starry-eyed, standing fully on two well grounded feet, and filled with joy as my vision is so clear.  I know who I am and what I am meant to do. 

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