African Saying ...

  

" THOSE WHO LOVE YOU

ARE NOT FOOLED BY MISTAKES

YOU HAVE MADE

OR DARK IMAGES

YOU HOLD ABOUT YOURSELF.

THEY REMEMBER YOUR BEAUTY

WHEN YOU FEEL UGLY;

YOUR WHOLENESS

WHEN YOU ARE BROKEN;

YOUR INNOCENCE

WHEN YOU FEEL GUILTY;

AND YOUR PURPOSE

WHEN YOU ARE CONFUSED."

(African saying)

Hopefully, we will all experience unconditional love as described in this old African saying.  Whether it is offered by a family member, a friend, or a mentor, this type of emotional support can personally impact life in a highly profound way.

When we have loved ones surrounding us, we can see a reflection of our selves in them as like attracts like.  If we admire a quality a person has, we usually have the same quality or the desire to develop that quality more in our selves. 

It is important to allow chosen friends or companions to grow close to us so during difficult times they can remind us of our strengths and gifts.  They can encourage us to continue to move forward as we often have had to do in the past.  We are given reminders of our past mastering of events.  Their very presence reminds us that we are not truly alone.

In kind, we must endeavor to return the favor to others.  By acknowledging the challenges of others, we can stand present in their lives and reflect their strengths back to them. 

In life, there are times when it is just too easy to lose our way or to forget the beauty of our souls.  Let us be a reflection to each other as a reminder of  the goodness residing within us all.

Mother's Day ...

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters

of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you,

but not from you,

And though they are with you yet

they belong not to you.

You may give them your love,

but not your thoughts,

for they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies,

but not their souls,

for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit,

not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

but seek not to make them like you.

Kahlil Gibran

 On Children 
                                                                         

As a child when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always the same.  I wanted to be a 'mom'.  I wanted to be a really good mom.  When I graduated from college, I still wanted to be a 'mom' and not an ordinary one either.

I chose to bring four children into this world.  At the time, I had no idea what challenges these babies would bring nor how many decisions I would have to be make, but I certainly did not anticipate the extent their lives would have upon mine. 

I once read an article quoting an adoptive father upon receiving his first child.  The quote was, "I can hardly wait to watch this child unfold, to discover the magnificence of this life."  It was refreshing to read about a parent who was not designing the path of the child. 

My three boys were nothing alike and yet there were so many similarities.  What I learned with my first son certainly didn't help me with my second or third son.  Each child needed differing rules, individual guidance, and unique experiences.  Then my fourth child was a girl surprising us all.  We each gave her a part of our self which she blended into her

own creative spirit.

I raised my children to be independent, desiring to nurture strengths and strengthen weaknesses.  It was vitally important

to me that they established and maintained a sense of belonging to each other no matter what life brought forth on any given day.

As my children evolved into their own individual spirits, they taught me trust, faith, and the deepest sense of love I had ever experienced.  They certainly became aware of my short comings, personal challenges, and determination to become more fully 'me'.  There were difficult times for all of us, and the consequences shaped us into who we are today.

Being a mother has been the most important role I have had in my life time.  I know in my heart I did my best and acknowledge that often my best was not enough.  Motherhood grew me emotionally and spiritually, the teacher becoming the student.  I will always be grateful for having the privilege of bringing these four special souls into the physical and I honor the individual paths they have followed.

May the blessings be ...

Celebrating a Life

Son, you outgrew my lap,

but never my heart.

Unknown

When we have more than one child, we wonder how we will ever have enough love for each one.  Somehow, love just appears.  We may love each child differently, but amazingly love abounds.

Today, May 10th is the birthday of my second son.  He was the most difficult child to raise out of four.  Outside of our family, adults viewed him as quiet and shy without ever smiling.  Inside our home, the child bounced off the walls tormenting all of us. Once he learned to channel his high level of energy, he began to accomplish wonderful things.  

My love for Ryan was different in that it required more patience and understanding.  His off the wall unexpected insights always caught me by surprise.  His observations and assessments were always perceptive.

Unlike his older brother who knew everyone under the sun, Ryan held few people close.  Once you were his friend, however, his loyalty and trust were admirable.  I loved this child from some deep source in my soul.

As a baby and toddler, people would say things like, "I bet he hears everything with those big ears," or "I bet he doesn't miss anything with those huge eyes!"  In time, Ryan grew into his features and became a very nice looking man.

By college, he left athletics behind him and became determined to graduate even though he had to work full time.  He would some how manage to slip home to rekindle his unspoken love for his younger brother and sister.  He made the house come alive with his sarcastic humor and trickery.

He reflected a strong ego, but it was obvious that he used it as a defense mechanism.  I knew he had fallen in love when he came home one Christmas and told me, "I have met a girl who is smarter than me."  He is married to a beautiful and industrious woman and together they have two wonderful children.

Ryan has been exceptionally successful in his work and has been very generous with family, friends, and employees.  I am proud of him and admire him.  No matter how much time passes between visits, we immediately connect wherever we had left off.  My bond with him has been strangely secured in other life times and I know our energies will stretch beyond human boundaries and star studded skies.

Thank you, Ryan.  Thank you for being such a wonderful son and for loving me through thick and thin.