Then the Bubble Burst

"Perhaps home is not a place but simply

an irrevocable condition."

James Baldwin

A male friend of mine died a long time ago.  He left me with an unexpected gift which I was not to recognize until years later.  He was not one for self expression or insightful conclusions, but he said to me, "I admire your ability to slide into random places and feel at home, blending with strangers."  

When his words came floating up into my consciousness, I really had to think about what he meant, as I was a person who never really had a healthy feeling about being at home.  What he said was true, however, and I believe it is because I did not have a set emotional definition for what home would feel like, so I could slip in and out of scenarios with ease.  Besides, I was always drawn to people and their families.

Eventually, I found myself in an emotional space which I could only identify as home.  I felt welcoming vulnerability, totally embraced with both scars and brilliance, and most importantly, I felt entirely whole with the ability to be anything imagined.   In time, the bubble burst and I was forced to realize that home just might be an emotional state and not a physical place at all.

Quiver In Boots

""We made the world we're living in

and we have to make it over."

James Baldwin

We experience life in so many varying ways with attitudes wavering and resistance prevailing, we tend to be surprised by outcomes.  To initiate change, we are required to temper the resistance and acquire healthier attitudes. Basically, we become accountable for what our actions or lack thereof have created.

When we are blaming others, we are the victim overlooking our portion of contribution or lack thereof.  We may sit back and demand the damage be repaired at no expense to ourselves.  Change will not come until we stand up for our lovely selves and take action ... even if it is simply a baby step.

We didn't just happen to arrive into a quagmire, we were either led like a lamb or duped by others; either way, we must accept some level of participation. When we stand alone, our feet may be quivering in our boots, but it is an initial position for change.  Creativity and wisdom become our friends as we begin to make a change.

Pulsing in the Soul

"You've got to tell the world how to treat you."

James Baldwin

We often take our willingness to the negative extreme.  Endeavoring to be kind, we enable others to use us.  Stretching to be helpful, the entire project can land in our laps.  Making efforts to be the perfect listener, we may become a dumping ground for problems.  

It comes down to personal boundaries which cannot be enforced until we are clear about our own needs, wants, and desires.  When we are able to respect and honor ourselves, we learn responses such as yes or no are equal in value.  The compassion we extend to others, needs to be fluid so it can be applied inward as well as outward.

Our voice is a powerful tool women often silence.  When we do not speak nor reflect our preferences, others will insert their own. We wonder why we are unhappy when we are clueless as to what would actually make us happy.  We may feel used or stepped upon.  Stand up and begin to navigate life in the direction highlighting the gifts and talents pulsing in the soul.