"Perhaps home is not a place but simply
an irrevocable condition."
James Baldwin
A male friend of mine died a long time ago. He left me with an unexpected gift which I was not to recognize until years later. He was not one for self expression or insightful conclusions, but he said to me, "I admire your ability to slide into random places and feel at home, blending with strangers."
When his words came floating up into my consciousness, I really had to think about what he meant, as I was a person who never really had a healthy feeling about being at home. What he said was true, however, and I believe it is because I did not have a set emotional definition for what home would feel like, so I could slip in and out of scenarios with ease. Besides, I was always drawn to people and their families.
Eventually, I found myself in an emotional space which I could only identify as home. I felt welcoming vulnerability, totally embraced with both scars and brilliance, and most importantly, I felt entirely whole with the ability to be anything imagined. In time, the bubble burst and I was forced to realize that home just might be an emotional state and not a physical place at all.
No comments:
Post a Comment