Navigating with Calm and Confidence

A mind at peace,

and mind centered

and not focused on harming others,

is stronger than any physical force

in the universe.

Wayne Dyer

Life challenges us which causes us to worry and stress.  When we are distracted from our relationships by emotional tumult, we do not perform as well as we are able.  I found this so frequently with families I served during my years in social services.  A family would so desperately need services, the family members would be almost frozen in place unable to make appropriate decisions.  Once we prioritized issues and matched them with available resources with assistance, decision making became more credible. 

The same holds true with children.  When children are distracted by family crisis, they easily zone out, not completing homework, not sleeping, and no longer caring about their appearance.  They frequently withdraw from the teacher and classmates or go the other direction by becoming aggressive with fighting or bullying.  When resources are put into place, the children once again can feel secure and respond in healthy behaviors, thinking before they act.

The ability to navigate through our day with calm and confidence increases the quality of our life.  With calm and confidence we will not be as easily overwhelmed by the lessons or challenges presented in our lives.  We will not be pulled off center causing us to react instead of act.  We can calmly consider what faces us and methodically create an appropriate approach that best meets the demands of the present and future.

When we remain calm and confident we feel more empowered.  We are less likely to be demeaning to others or resorting to uncharacteristic behaviors.  We won't be as likely to hurt the feelings of others or feel ashamed of careless words or actions.  When maintaining calm and confidence, we all find our selves operating from a place of security and personal power.

Navigate with calm and confidence and we will stay the course.

What We Think

Action and reaction

ebb and flow,

trial and error, change ~

this is the rhythm of living.

Out of our over-confidence, fear;

out of our fear, clearer vision, fresh hope.

And out of hope, progress.

Bruce Barton

There is a definite difference between the words action and reaction.  Action is frequently well planned or based on previous outcome; whereas, reaction is generally a response triggered by an emotion.  In various situations, we have the choice of acting or reacting.

Whether it is the lady behind you cluelessly bumping her grocery cart against the back of your ankles or the driver behind you blasting his horn or small children screaming, we may find ourselves 'flying off the handle' which would definitely be a reaction.  Throughout our day, we may have 'knee jerk' reactions to a variety of people or situations.  We react as though we were on automatic pilot.

Action is when we take pause or preparation prior to the response.  In order to have this kind of action, we must slow down.  So when a person hurts your feelings, instead of rippping off his or her head, we can take a breath and think of what we really want to express.  Too often, we react spewing words that we will later regret.

In slowing our selves down, we have time to think ... I don't want to be lesser than I am ... I don't want to hurt someone even though they have hurt me ... I don't want to escalate or extend this situation.  We have choice.

The very best response is based on a different perception.  Instead of letting some one else's words or actions hurt you and trigger a negative action, switch your perception and acknowledge their actions. 

"You seem to be having a bad day."

"Why don't we talk again when you are not so upset." 

"Let's take a few moments here and work this out."   

These responses will not escalate nor extend hostilities or hurtful situations.  We do not let the offender pull us out of the behaviors we want to be demonstrating for others.

When we let our emotions override our good senses, we say or do things we never intended.  When the incident has passed and we find our selves saying, "I can't believe I did that," you know you have just reacted.

Even in a positive situation our immediate reaction can pull us into an unwanted element.  My daughter is always eager to buy me something when we shop, so I am careful to say, "Oh, I love that ... but I don't want it for me ... but I do love it!"  Reactions, as I said, are not always well thought out as they are usually an immediate response that may not hold true in the immediate future.

What is the old saying, "Think before you leap!"  Don't wait for a situaion to arise to start pausing just prior to response.  Try pausing in your daily stream of thoughts first, as we become what we think!