What We Think

Action and reaction

ebb and flow,

trial and error, change ~

this is the rhythm of living.

Out of our over-confidence, fear;

out of our fear, clearer vision, fresh hope.

And out of hope, progress.

Bruce Barton

There is a definite difference between the words action and reaction.  Action is frequently well planned or based on previous outcome; whereas, reaction is generally a response triggered by an emotion.  In various situations, we have the choice of acting or reacting.

Whether it is the lady behind you cluelessly bumping her grocery cart against the back of your ankles or the driver behind you blasting his horn or small children screaming, we may find ourselves 'flying off the handle' which would definitely be a reaction.  Throughout our day, we may have 'knee jerk' reactions to a variety of people or situations.  We react as though we were on automatic pilot.

Action is when we take pause or preparation prior to the response.  In order to have this kind of action, we must slow down.  So when a person hurts your feelings, instead of rippping off his or her head, we can take a breath and think of what we really want to express.  Too often, we react spewing words that we will later regret.

In slowing our selves down, we have time to think ... I don't want to be lesser than I am ... I don't want to hurt someone even though they have hurt me ... I don't want to escalate or extend this situation.  We have choice.

The very best response is based on a different perception.  Instead of letting some one else's words or actions hurt you and trigger a negative action, switch your perception and acknowledge their actions. 

"You seem to be having a bad day."

"Why don't we talk again when you are not so upset." 

"Let's take a few moments here and work this out."   

These responses will not escalate nor extend hostilities or hurtful situations.  We do not let the offender pull us out of the behaviors we want to be demonstrating for others.

When we let our emotions override our good senses, we say or do things we never intended.  When the incident has passed and we find our selves saying, "I can't believe I did that," you know you have just reacted.

Even in a positive situation our immediate reaction can pull us into an unwanted element.  My daughter is always eager to buy me something when we shop, so I am careful to say, "Oh, I love that ... but I don't want it for me ... but I do love it!"  Reactions, as I said, are not always well thought out as they are usually an immediate response that may not hold true in the immediate future.

What is the old saying, "Think before you leap!"  Don't wait for a situaion to arise to start pausing just prior to response.  Try pausing in your daily stream of thoughts first, as we become what we think!