Catch A Glimpse

"I have noticed that if you look carefully at people's eyes the first five seconds they look at you,

the truth of their feelings will shine through for just an instant before it flickers away."

Sue Monk Kidd

The Secret Life of Bees

Just prior to a person pulling on their protective mask or retreating behind a psychological wall, the observer can catch a glimpse of honest presence.  Much can be learned from observing the face.  Not only the eyes tell the truth, but full facial expression or the lack of animation indicates a level of emotion as well.  

When deliberately watching others, one notices contradictions almost immediately.  In answering a question, the person may be stating out loud, "Yes," but the head is shaking no.  "Everything is fine," a person might say as tears stream down the face.   We can be tightly embracing a dear one as they whisper, "I want to go."  Our bodies display a volume of information through a language of its own.

All a person needs to do is to pay attention and this can be practiced anywhere whether in a familiar surrounding or not.  The old saying, "Actions speak louder than words" certainly holds some truth.  

Watch a frustrated mother.  Does she yank her child by the arm or does she drop to her knees, talking eye to eye with reason.  When sitting with a trusted friend sharing an intimate detail are they holding eye contact or are the eyes flitting back and forth monitoring surroundings.  A physician may be verbalizing tests are good and yet his entire body is in check and you can hear the 'but' approaching.

When we unexpectedly meet some one, if we look deeply into their eyes, we will see if they have been present or off in another world.  The eyes they say are 'windows to the soul' and this often holds true.  Upon initial contact, we can catch a glimpse into a private world.  We might find puffy eyes from hours of crying; fear; confusion; happiness; or unbridled excitement.

When we are in an emotional state of lock down, we barely look into the eyes of anyone.  We close in on ourselves, avoiding contact, and isolating our selves.  If we practice observing others, especially the eyes, we will establish a sense of belonging.  We will feel more connected to the world around uneven without speaking.  When we feel comfortable in our world, we are much more apt to evolve further into who we need to be.