Bring forth ...

Woman must come of age by herself ...

She must find her true center alone.

GIFT FROM THE SEA

Anne Morrow Lindbergh



This morning, as usual, I was reading THE BOOK OF AWAKENING by Mark Nepo.  He was discussing unconditional love and he brought up a view point that I had never connected with this subject prior to his reading.  "Unconditional love is not so much about how we receive and endure each other, as it is about the deep vow to never, under any condition, stop bringing the flawed truth of who we are to each other." 

Unconditional love has always been, for me, the desire to embrace and accept someone else just as they were, not so much about being seen just as I was.  I mean, really, who is going to totally embrace me if I stand before them with all my flaws ... flaws hanging out of my hat, pockets, socks and shoes!  Apparently I am much more comfortable focusing unconditional love on someone else, taking the pressure off me.  

Mark Nepo mentions that unconditional love does not mean "turning the other cheek."  I agree with this as well as forgiveness not meaning acceptance or tolerance of any form of abuse.  He proceeds however by saying, "In the real spaces of our daily relationships, it means maintaining  a commitment that no condition will keep us from bringing all of who we are to each other honestly."  This does not leave much area to hide.  Amazing, this level of honesty he calls us to.

It seems that I acquired an emotional barometer when I was born.  It runs up and down my spine indicating when I am being 'too much' or need to 'be smaller than am I' in order to blend into a particular emotional environment.  It really has been quite an interesting tool to assist me in navigating through my life and adjusting to expected behaviors. 

Mark Nepo's suggestion to consider "being unconditional as a bringing forth from within." This prompts me to wonder if I have been working only one part of this equation of unconditional love.  He goes on to say, "Enter your day and consider 'bringing forth who you are' in the name of love."   

My first reaction is to bundle up in armor prepared to face the world; but I quickly realize that this reaction is the very base of my misunderstanding.  Armor would not only protect me from the world at large, but it would also hide me from the world. 

The real question is whether or not I can bring forth who I am ... at all times ... in all places. 

I really must find the courage!