Flying Solo

 

"A mind that is stretched by new experience can never go back to its old dimensions."

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Flying solo can be both intimidating, and exhilarating. Any time we are removed from our comfort zone, choices fall upon us that may be uncomfortable. There is safety in staying where we are known, but when we experience additional personal growth, there is a need to move forward and often times, alone.

Flying solo is not limited to a physical experience as much of the work is processed mentally and spiritually. If we want to know who we are or more of what we can be, it stands to reason that one must step away from the familiar. Taking flight, the blustering wind moves what we no longer need, and the elevation allows new views to be considered.

Flying solo is a matter of accountability. We must accept responsibility for our journey and be willing to experience new landscapes. If delays are being triggered by turbulent energy, we can recalibrate.  The most vibrant element is choice. We are in control and if we are not satisfied, then discover new flight patterns. 

 

Lingering Light

"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness."

Oliver Wendell Holmes 

There are people surrounding us with laughter and celebration. Bright lights are twinkling with an element of gaiety. Inside some of us, however, may feel locked in loneliness. The contrast between holiday activities and our inner darkness can be overwhelming. There is a strong need to align the two.

When we choose to hide our loss and sorrow, darkness contributes to stagnation. It is time to fling open the doors of our hearts, allowing light to come in. We must remind ourselves that we are love ... no matter what is in our past. In this moment, we are all worthy of being loved, especially by our very selves.

Be willing to open to the light. Allow memories of who we are and visualize possibilities of who we are meant to be. Perhaps an element that is being judged is truly a unique strength. We are not just one thing, so exploration may be needed. Worse than loneliness ... overlooking lingering light that waits to lead us toward happiness. 

The Tree Who Stands Alone

"Some trees grow very tall and straight and large 

in the forest close to each other,

but some must stand by themselves

or they won't grow at all."

Oliver Wendell Holmes

From a very tender age, I learned to keep my own counsel.  My mind was always observing, measuring, and testing waters.  My existence seemed to be dependent upon my ability to gauge existing energies in a room.  I interpretations were consistently challenged by the differing perceptions of others.  There were so many games to be played; a variety of masks to be worn;  and a multitude of perceptions in reference to reality.  

I found myself to be dumbfounded at what others tolerated or didn't choose to see.  Everything could shift within minutes making life so very confusing to me.  Nothing was permanent and everything was subject to change.  One learns to carefully walk a tightrope above a community of conflict.

Children have resilience and coupled with imagination, a creative existence can be portrayed.  Discipline is helpful in remembering not to fall into the lucrative traps of insincerity.  There is nothing but internal sadness for the child who pretends to be loved and cherished.  Forsaking needs, desires, and minimal wants, the child hopes to find a way to be invisible to others while still being present for the self.   

Woe is to the child who has no one to validate her. Just being recognized even for falsehoods becomes a measuring stick for hope of acceptance.  The golden nugget of essence is hidden deep within, forever unsafe to be shown.  Carefully accepting small gestures from unfamiliar sources can create increments of possibility.  Biding time until one is old enough to choose for herself is a seemingly forever  process. 

I have never been able to grow straight and tall like other trees in the forest.  Being so close in proximity could not be tolerated.  In isolated spaces, reaching for full sun light,  digging roots deeply, and braving the storms I found optional survival for this tree who stands alone.