"One who feels understood feels loved and
one who feels loved feels sure of being understood."
Paul Tournier
Catch yourself when you are feeling sorry for someone, as it is not helpful. Responding to someone as a victim, enhances his or her fear. When you can simply be present for someone, it allows a safe space for the person to share. The goal is to understand what is being said or what is unfolding.
Chances are good you cannot possibly totally understand what someone else is going through, but when you try to understand, the person feels seen. When you can reflect back to a person whatever it is they are sharing, you are helping them to return to personal power. Your body language and facial expression will speak volumes.
People seeking you out when they are in troubled times are really not expecting you to solve a problem. They are wanting to hear themselves speak out loud and for their words to be received. A person will feel a margin of relief by simply expressing inner struggles. To pity someone is not helpful, but compassion helps to heal.
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