"Our shadow emerges from the unspeakable things
that we discover about the world and ourselves."
Kilroy J. Oldster
The core words driving my success were spoken by my mother when I was an unseen child. Talking to a friend she said, "That child could fall into a pile of shit and come out smelling like a rose." These being the kindest words I ever heard my mother say about me, I was driven to enter dysfunction and exit smelling like success. I was nearing 50 when I became aware of this unconscious belief.
Intolerant of the harsh emotions surrounding me in early life, I was determined to never live in chaos once I left home. For years I would avoid all confrontation or ignore unacceptable behaviors in relationships, as I refused chaos, making a mess of my personal self. It was later in life when I finally understood that life is chaos and we must learn to lives in its midst.
For many years I collected labels (education, wife, mother, social worker, energy worker) to best describe my contribution to my life. The strong image I reflected out into the world was acceptable, but the real work was waiting within ... the personal discovery of love for the self. I have finally evolved into a core of light shining love out upon the inhabitants of this earth as my commitment to life.
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