Damaged Emotional Makeup

To my children.

I am sorry for the unhealed parts of me

that in turn hurt you.

It was never a lack of love for you.

Only a lack of love for my self.

Author Unknown

In relationships, we can follow all of the rules, reach our expectations, and offer an enhanced safe place, yet, still hurt the ones we love.  Simply, perfection is never obtained unless in a random moment.  In spite of how we strive to be loving and kind, there is the profound element of hurting someone along the way.

To be the mother of four, dream come true, I excelled in areas hoping to make them physically and emotionally strong.  I yearned for them to have a moral compass and a full future life.  I was not consciously aware of how my damaged emotional makeup slipped through the cracks and created pivots in their own unfolding.

Is it enough to say, "I did my best, " knowing there were times I felt short of the mark?  As I grow into myself and heal the deep pockets of insecurity, I realize the unintended impact on the hearts I held.   For that I apologize, but in the depths of my soul, I know I loved the best I could.