"Problems are not the problem:
coping is the problem."
Virginia Satir
We are so ill prepared for the authenticity of life as our illusions stem from childhood nursery rhymes, myths and tales. It is inferred that a problem indeed will arise, but nothing is taught about sorting it all out. The lesson tends to tell us, especially female children, to simply wait for the wealthy prince, the gallant swordsman, or life with seven dwarfs!
Problem solving is easily accessed once we get beyond the problem itself. We have to identify the dissonance, and then place our energy upon solutions. If we are falsely waiting to be rescued, we are in for emotional damage if not physical. If we have not been raised with confidence and a sense of self worth, we will be destined to flounder.
Even as healthy adults, we frequently need to urge our lovely selves to sit down, identify the real problem, and form options to move through the challenge. Once we begin to relate to solutions, we build the confidence for action. Even if the mistake is large or small, our ability to navigate through the obstacle teaches us the lesson needing to be acquired.
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