"Never be bullied
into silence. Never
allow yourself to be
made a victim. Accept
no one's definition of
your life; define
yourself."
Harvey Fierstein
The more positive we feel about ourselves, the less likely someone else can pull us off course. When we respect who we are, we can easily regard criticism with compassion. We can recognize criticism is created by someone who feels lesser than. We are not always called to respond in kindness nor confront the anger loitering in front of us. No verbal response or no action are signs of a strong person. This is an example of choosing to be silent.
If we find our selves in a position where we have given up voicing our opinion based on never being listened to, we have allowed ourselves to be falsely defined. We are allowing someone else to have power over us whether physical or emotional. It is healthy to express our feelings though words. If we cannot speak them safely out loud, then we can at least share them with a trusted mentor or write down everything until no more words can come. (Burn the paper or shred if necessary.) In whatever way available, constructively define the self.
There is a grave difference between a mentor offering guidance and an adult demanding we be a certain way that is not congruent with how we see our self or want to live our life. A person living in physical or emotional danger needs to seek professional help. Whatever safe action we are brave enough to make becomes the first step out of being victimized.
If we find our selves in a position where we have given up voicing our opinion based on never being listened to, we have allowed ourselves to be falsely defined. We are allowing someone else to have power over us whether physical or emotional. It is healthy to express our feelings though words. If we cannot speak them safely out loud, then we can at least share them with a trusted mentor or write down everything until no more words can come. (Burn the paper or shred if necessary.) In whatever way available, constructively define the self.
There is a grave difference between a mentor offering guidance and an adult demanding we be a certain way that is not congruent with how we see our self or want to live our life. A person living in physical or emotional danger needs to seek professional help. Whatever safe action we are brave enough to make becomes the first step out of being victimized.
When we believe in our own personal goodness, we are not as dependent upon the compliments of others. We can accept differences of opinions without feeling threatened. When we choose to not engage in discord, our energy is self-contained. We do not feed the other person's anger with words to fuel the fire. We do not become the sacrifice. This basically has very little to do with us and ownership belongs to the other. The fire dies out rather quickly when it fails to draw attention. More than likely, the person will carry hate and anger to someone else provoking them in hopes of capturing fresh energy.
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