Subject to Time, Place, and Circumstance

Never judge anyone for the choices that they make, and always remember that the opposite of what you know is also true. Other people's perspective on reality is as valid as your own, so no matter how certain you are that you're doing the "right thing", you must humbly accept the possibility that someone who does the exact opposite from you might actually be doing the “right thing” as well.

Everything is subject to time, place and circumstance.

  Buddhist Boot Camp
"Doing the 'right' thing"


We are our own worst critics.  We rarely silence the voice in our head that constantly recalls errors of our past.  It is important to remember that we learn through our poor choices.  Investing in  more than my share of debilitating situations, it was difficult to drag myself forward with any sense of hope for restoration.  Then somewhere along the way, I read the adage:  "You did the best you could with the information you had at that time."  This allowed me to remain accountable for my decisions, but with gained experience or information see other options.

"We did the best we could do at that time and place."  This is true even if our best was truly lacking.  I believe the point is to learn from the experience and not repeat it.  The focus can be on what we have learned, how we have advanced, and what better insight we now have, rather than wasting energy on what had gone wrong. 

During my career working in homes with families, there was a man I declined to work with judging him on his documented violence.  I served the family, but refused to engage with the father who had been removed from the home.  Through shear coincidence, I came into contact with the father, not knowing who he was until later.  I had found him to be engaging and communicative and therefore shocked to learn his identity.   I pulled his social history, with permission, and read through the lengthy pages of his tormented life.  Reading of the abuse and torture he had persevered from his birth forward, I marveled that he was even alive.  I knew my judgment was undeserving as I realized I had no idea how I would be if I had been exposed to his time, place, and circumstance.  It was not pleasant walking in his shoes.

It is important to remember, when we feel the temptation to judge, that we are only seeing one piece of the pie.  We are experiencing only one  portion of this person's life.  We have no right to judge without having the vision of the whole.  We do not have to accept nor voice our perceptions.  Be the observer and remember that all judgment is subject to time, place and circumstance.