"Remove what obstructs us so that we can be who we are, holding nothing back.
We do not need discipline to be kind, just an open heart."
Mark Nepo
The Book of Awakening
It may sound crazy, but way too often I forget who I am. I forget that I am a ball of energy taking on human form to experience all that God has created. My existence is for learning, creating, and feeling based in human kindness.
There are times I feel unbeatable. I feel as though I have passed to the front of the class, mastering my darkness and filled with light. I am determined not be just be a flicker of a flame, but a beacon like a lighthouse.
This too passes, and exhausted from over extending myself, I decide to pull back. Then I pull back some more, and eventually find myself in darkness. I have not used my resources for reading, avoided my daily insights, ignored friends, and slept instead of meditating. Is it no wonder I regress.
Pondering what my obstruction is, I quickly realize it is simply me. I get in my own way. I am my own worst enemy instead of a bright shining star. I can say it is the weather or a disappointment not expected, or an unkindness done by some other; but, those are all excuses giving myself permission to remain stuck.
Each of us can determine what cycle we run through our heads. What patterns might we follow and what would alter the route. If we write in a journal, logging our days, we can go back and see how we stumble and where we became lesser than we were before. If our journey is documented, it gives us living testimony in our own words, that we can and will succeed, over and over again!
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