Crossing Bridges

"After having been applauded

for busy-ness and productivity,

there is guilt about stillness."

Gay Luce 

 We cross many bridges during our lives (from child to adult, student to teacher, single to wife, wife to mother, mother to grandmother, novice to master, business to retirement) as we transition from one phase to another.  Some do cross gracefully whereas others may go kicking and screaming.   It would be accurate to say whether we welcome crossing the bridge or not, and adjustment is always a part of the transition. 

As in many situations, a forthcoming transition can create anxiety.  Even though we may be eager to move forward the transition is taking us out of our comfort zone into the unknown.  We may grow concerned of losing power or position in the world.  We may no longer be recognized by a certain label we have been displaying for years.  Especially when the work role is removed, we grow concerned about usefulness.

Many of us have been trained to see our selves as what we do for a living, and when we disengage we have a sense of uselessness.  In retirement, many will throw themselves into activities without discretion in order to fill in the empty blanks.  When faced with unexpected quiet or stillness, we need to take our time in learning how to embrace just 'being'.

When we do not learn to let go of fear and to embrace the unknown, we create a very rigid life style for our selves.  We do not experience any variance in our lives as we stick to our script.  So when we retire or physical ailments curtail our busy-ness, we are at a loss as to what to do.  Self-image or ego can become damaged by the sudden void which seemingly offers nothing for us to do.

The need to create a purpose surfaces.  Some fill it with extensive travel, volunteering, hobbies or avocations which become just as rigid as the earlier life style.  Underneath this need to be constant movement, we find the fear of dealing with our feelings.  We stay active disallowing our true nature to surface.  We will go to great depths to avoid what we have repressed.  For many, the act of being still is riddled with anxiety.

For those who are curious about this pause in time,  they find themselves exploring their fears.  They discover prejudices, misconceptions, or our culture's need for materialism.  When we begin to shed the many layers neatly stacked one upon the other, we can discard what we no longer need and feel freedom.  Whether on sabbatical or permanently leaving employment, many experience a huge relief.

It is in this stillness we learn to channel our energies into new aspects of life bringing deeper meaning to this physical experience.  We shift our thoughts to the earth, to the next generation, to compassion, and to meditation or prayer.  When we sit in the stillness we begin to experience our authentic self and a voice gently encourages us to be of service to our inner self and the outer world.  Our identity is no longer found in a career definition, but in our true nature as role model, gardener, painter, volunteer, writer or mother of a heartfelt cause. 

There is work to be done, yes; but the heart felt application comes only after one becomes comfortable in being still.  It is in this very stillness that direction is received, leading us to our highest nature.  By just 'being', we begin to resonate with the rhythms of the Universe, inspiring us to be empathetic human beings.  We then bring our love for life as service to our fellow human beings, to the world, and to all that breathes. 

If we pay attention to the stillness now, we can navigate life in a more meaningful way.  Do not wait for this understanding to come until we are crossing the last bridge of our life.