Recognizing Worthiness in Each Other

Our stresses, anxieties, pains and problems

arise because we do not see

the world, others, or even ourselves

as worthy of love.

Prem Prakash

Yesterday, our neighbor did a very kind deed for us.  He happened to see something that got overlooked, so he took it upon himself to correct it before we even knew things had gone awry.  He reacted as a good neighbor, knowing we would have done the same if the situation were reversed.

What interested me, however, was the difference between responses to this neighborly gesture.  I immediately was touched by the unnecessary but deeply appreciated action, whereas my 'significant other' politely gave thanks, but focused more on how he should have noticed it himself.  The good deed somehow ended up as a sign of his own neglect.

Throughout the evening, my mind just kept looking at this situation wondering why two people would react so differently.  Why would some one choose to criticize himself rather than be thankful for some one else's actions?

The answer eventually surfaced and I readily recognized it as it was an area I have worked on all of my life ... worthiness.  There were many yesterdays that I resented help from others, thinking I should be able to meet my own needs.  I disliked if someone unasked assisted me as I believed they viewed me as being incapable of completing the task on my own.

As the years passed, I learned a great deal about myself and others.  I started to recognize my strengths and gifts, as well as the strengths and gifts of others.  Life no longer was a competition and the only one I needed to compare myself to, was me.  I began to honor my accomplishments and respect the outcomes of my challenges.  Self-worth eventually surfaced and changed my out look of the world surrounding me.

It is far easier to embrace kind gestures of neighbors, strangers, or cultures when we are comfortable in our own skin.  The immediate reaction is no longer to look within to find fault, but to look out wards at the kindness of another with a thankful heart.  With recognition of the good actions of others, we allow them to feel respected and we grow closer together.

By graciously receiving the help of an other, we begin to feel hope in each other and in the world.  Instead of focusing on weaknesses we can focus on strengths finding a place for every one to live side by side in harmony.

The next time you feel ungrateful or defensive about a person's kind gesture, examine what those feelings are really about.  Look inside and determine what it is about you that is triggering this reaction.