Absorbed Patterns

"If we have happy parents, we have

received the richest inheritance of all."

Thich Nhat Hanh

As non-verbal children, we depend upon learning through set examples.  We watch our parents or siblings and it doesn't matter if the exchanges are loving or harsh, we will absorb them.  What we see, we duplicate without full understanding.  Thus the patterns of dysfunctional families develop.

If we happen to be blessed by mentally healthy adults in our life, we catch glimpses of tenderness, comfort, courage and self-care.  This doesn't mean the family is rich nor poor, safe nor sound.  It simply references the behaviors of others taken out of context and how it impact us.

It is no wonder then, children of alcoholics seek out partners with alcoholism; or with history of violence; or even sexual abuse.  Right or wrong, we have a tendency to gravitate towards actions or habits we have emotionally absorbed. Feeling safe, for example, may feel uncomfortable to someone who has developed in a space of fear.