Fool Me Once ...

"Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me."

Folk Wisdom

A farmer shared a saying I had never heard before.  "Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me."  It spoke volumes to me, as it conflicted with the proverb of  "turning the other cheek."  I also don't believe shame to be the appropriate response for any action.  We do not learn healthy lessons through shaming.

Compassion towards others by the extension of second chances frequently leads to becoming a victim.  If a person fools me, I can extend compassion, without setting myself up all over again.  I no longer feel the need to be vulnerable to those who have been known to hurt me.  

Forgive and forget is just fine by me, but it will alter the original dynamics of relationship.  I will not judge by shame, but my boundaries will increase.  There is no need to live in isolation with tall barricades as we can shrivel into nothingness, but a careful awareness is a layer of protection we may very well need.

Trust is needed in every relationship, but it must be gauged by the circumstances.  When we are vulnerable and open, we experience a deeper relationship, but it must be balanced by personal integrity.  To respect everyone including myself is to remain aligned with body, mind, and spirit.