Onion or Lotus?

"We create boundaries and develop defenses to protect ourselves and then, at a certain point, we outgrow them.  If we don't allow ourselves to shed our protective layer, we can't expand to our full potential."

Madisyn Taylor
DAILY OM



No matter how old we are, the time comes when we need to erect protection, hoping it will ward off the darkness of others or keep us from being noticed.  This invisible protection may be a necessary requirement for survival, but there also comes the time when it is no longer needed.  With confidence, we know we can draw the wall of protection around us if needed, so it becomes like a garage door, opening and closing at will.  As our life evolves, we may give up our heavy armor of protection for something lighter, like a veil.  The veil can remain in place, but pulled to the side when feeling safe. 

Years ago, when I received my first massage, the massage therapist asked if she could make a comment.  I always welcomed input, but did not always embrace opinions of others.  She said, "It is the strangest thing.  When I am working on you, I see things headed right towards you, but before they reach you, you turn to stone.  Do you know anything about that?" 

I immediately laughed, as I knew exactly what she was referring to.  I told her, "I am always prepared to put up a shield whenever anything comes towards me."  Pursuing this line of conversation, she inquired, "Why do you do that?"  The answer was easy, "I throw up a wall of protection so no one will ever hurt me again."  This of course made perfect sense to me.  The massage therapist's words became more intentional, "But if you maintain a wall, you not only keep the hurt out, you keep the love out as well." Point well taken.

Moving forward, I began to explore the layers of protection around me.  There were so many I didn't need any more simply based on the fact I was now an adult, no longer a child.  As I began to peel off the outer layers, I began to learn more about myself.  This process of shedding skin, tended to make me frequently cry, which reminded me of course of peeling an onion.

As life moved forward, I seemed to transition into a light. I feel rather transparent as I have learned that it is safe to be me. I embrace the sacred, and release the rest. The heaviness is long gone, as I feel the presence of Divine Spirit in all things, watching over me.
After years of learning how to lower my barriers, to dissolve my armor, and to strengthen boundaries, I decided  I needed a better symbol than an onion.  My new symbol became a lotus flower, with petals gently unfolding with peace and calm.

 

 



Generations

We need to remember across generations

that there is as much to learn

as there is to teach.

Gloria Steinem

It is no longer common to be living in the same city or town as our parents, grandparents or extended families.  Many children do not have the opportunity to meet other generations except on rare occasions.  Curiosity has driven families to turn to genealogical societies to track the family's heritage. 

As young adults, we feel as though we are finally leaving our parents behind, but this is far from the truth.  We bring generational habits or behaviors unknowingly with us.  Many of the beliefs or patterns we carry are the very ones impressed upon us as children.  We may be holding fears of not having enough, unable to show affection, and patterns of secrecy.

By breaking the chain, we can stop negative influence from passing any farther.  We can replace old patterns through tolerance, love, and conscious awareness.  Eventually, the change in actions can help in  maintaining better health, higher self-esteem, and happiness.  Through honest exploration we can become aware of generational limitations, dysfunctional emotional patterns, and unrealistic values.  We must become aware of our need to change in order to successfully create a new generational pattern.

Negative family patterns may seem normal to us while we are living with our family of origin.  It is not until we get out into the world that we notice the difference between families activities and belief systems.  Changes in our society also cause us to alter traditions.  Sunday family dinners are impossible if we are living in other cities, states, or countries.  Even holidays may have to be celebrated on different dates in order to accommodate family members.  Not wearing a dress to church may be offensive to some or even attending a Saturday night Mass.

The first step in changing is giving our selves permission to do so.  We don't need to feel guilty or shameful when our life choices alter old patterns.  Each generation is a pioneer into a future and the individual generations will leave a history, both negative and positive. 

It is important to honor and respect our elders, and to maintain some family traditions.  There is much to be learned from the past, but there is much to be discovered for the future.  Life is but change and we will always find our selves moving forward if we wish not to be stagnant nor redundant. 

 (Writing prompted by DAILY OM written by Madisyn Taylor)

Instant Messages

   

    When we begin to listen with our hearts rather than our heads, our whole world changes and becomes softer.   The Daily Om Madisyn Taylor    

Over the holidays, we frequently find our selves in conversations appearing to be irrelevant or boring.  We scrunch up our faces as unspoken responses as we busily rush through mental lists of things yet to accomplish.  We are not listening at all to the ramblings of the other person.  The only thing we are waiting for is the period at the end of the final sentence!

 

Listening is an art enhancing our ability to feel.  Being present to another person's story  can create greater understanding for our own lives and develops our ability to appropriately feel or have compassion.  Listening to one and other helps to create peace and calm within each of us and contributes to the quality of our surroundings.

 

Even if we find our selves cornered by a rocket scientist, we can use our listening skills to capture insight and understanding.  If we watch a person's face as they speak, we may notice:   enthusiasm or disdain; joy or sorrow; tearing eyes or steel cold depths; or a particular woman or man hiding behind a mask.   

 

It is no longer unusual while networking at a professional or social gathering to discover the invisible grid running through our lives.  Investing time in someone we learn that we know a person in common, or used to have a mutual friend, or attended the same college in different years.  This information comes within the stories we truly listen to and they are little gifts making our big wide world smaller and smaller.   The more we truly listen we are more apt to sense and feel the connectedness amongst us all. 

 

By opening our hearts instead of critiquing, we begin to realize everyone has a message for us.  In some way, words that appear to be randomly shared,  resonate with   our immediate situations.  The other person rarely realizes he or she has just released valuable information. 

 

These messages, I believe, come from Divine Spirit.  I believe we are used for another person's benefit.  Perhaps for a brief exchange of words, we are instant messengers, angels if you will.

 

There have been times, someone will approach me and thank me for sharing my information with them as it became a turning point in their life.  It is such a revelation to me and  I search my mind trying to think of what I could have possibly said!  It would be too embarrassing to say, "What did I say?" Such a question would seem to minimize the value of his or her experience.  I fully realize Divine Spirit has used me to deliver information to a person when needed with me being totally unaware. 

 

God does speak through each and every one of us.  So listen better and be amazed at the gifts you receive.  The art of listening makes life much more exciting.  Listening a little bit more closely, trying to anticipate what message you may hear, or just observing a person for the very first time even though we have known them for years enhances our experiences.  The art of listening makes us feel more connected to individuals and all that is holy.