Excavating Truth

"The intensity of the pain depends on the degree

of resistance to the present moment."

Eckhart Tolle

What a curious day this might be both individually and collectively. I wonder how much effort will be invested in paying attention to physical actions. Will it be just another day or will deliberate purpose control the unfolding? They are calling this last day in February, Black Out Friday.

My paternal grandparents came from Sweden and my maternal grandparents came from Bohemia, a now extinct country. My parents lived through a war and I believed my generational  experience was Viet Nam. Now, as discord builds, I am rather uncertain that I will ever enjoy the peace I had imagined for my life time.

If I do not hold myself accountable, will others do the same? And if so, what will be the outcome? Does one bury his or her head in the sand or filter through the overwhelm of theories excavating truth? Will actions create personal repercussions? Behavioral patterns are reflecting extensive dysfunction and sadly, I do not believe 'talk therapy' will help.

Outside of the Box

"It isn't enough to think outside of the box. Thinking

is passive. Get used to acting outside the box."

Tim Ferriss 

Growing up, I did not have any control over my existence. Not physically, mentally nor spiritually. Religion demanded absolute acceptance of parental control or suffer in hell. It took years to accumulate strength to push back and create a slight beam of light to see that I was actually there.

Avoiding consequences, thoughts were kept private and behaviors modified. No matter what was done or said, my inner voice remained silent. Early on, there was this 'awareness' of misconstrued information and untrusting resources. My creative mind began to speculate about a life outside of the box.

Today, I find my lovely self in much of the same conundrum. Control over my life may be decreasing and my inner voice feels the need to be silent.  The only course seems, once again, to be brave while moving through the darkness in spite of growing fear. Perhaps stepping out of the box, I will once again hold myself accountable.

The Trees that Stand Alone

"It takes nothing to join the crowd.

It takes everything to stand alone."

Hans Frodi Hansen

Throughout life, my leadership skills have been recognized. Bringing people together was exciting and challenging while the end result was pure joy. Rarely was it noticed, however, that once the group had taken hold, I would quietly remove myself. Historically, I have been able to move in and out of groups without becoming a permanent fixture.

Life lessons have taught me to be independent, and personal choice arranges for me to generally stand alone. I absolutely love my friends, offering support and laughter, but ultimately require alone time. Perhaps this explains my love for trees as they are a significant part of the forest, yet deeply rooted all by themselves.

Basically, I do not care what color a person's skin is or what religious affiliation or political party any person chooses to join. What is important to me is his or her moral compass and the individual perception they have about life. The more articulate, projecting an eclectic view, I will be drawn in to listen, but continue to stand alone.

Step Away

"It is possible to have too much of a good thing."

Aesop

Nature and relationships repeatedly show us how harmful too much of a good thing can be. Whether appreciating segments of a season or embracing the elements of love, either can switch into overwhelm. Privacy is important until it turns into absolute isolation. Affection feels good until it turns into obsession.

In our society, there are young children playing the role of the adult with addicted parents. There are high school accomplished achievers foregoing college for employment to sustain the core family. There are elders who have lost security relenting to demands of a selfish family member.

Let us speak of compassion that kindhearted spirits bestow upon those who are less fortunate. They become obsessed with caretaking and forget to nurture the self. Is there a hidden desire to bathe a stranger in compassion that is based in their own hidden need? Let us step away from extremes, and bring balance to our own needs. 

Who is That?

 

"A grownup is a child with layers on."

Woody Harrelson

From birth, we are molded into whom others think we should be. We are told who we look like or resemble, instructed based on other's expectations, and falsely guided by hidden motivations. When do we start privately thinking, "This just doesn't feel quite right". While glancing into a mirror, we may even wonder who that person is looking back at us.

There is no benefit in unearthing who said or did whatever. The backward search is intended to peal off the layers that no longer belong. We will be surprised how much better we feel throughout the shedding process. With a new sense of freedom, we can begin to make decisions that guide and support our personal journey.

There is a woman who longed to tap dance since childhood, but she was consistently told she was just too big. At age 60, she gifted herself with lessons and has tap danced ever since. So what is a hidden desire that can be brought into our current reality? Even if modified, what measures will begin to feed the creative soul?

Freezing Up

"Fear narrows the little entrance of our heart. It shrinks

up our capacity to love. It freezes up our 

power to gives ourselves."

Thomas Merton

There are numerous choices we can make. We can remove ourselves physically, withdraw emotionally, and neglect to nourish our spirit. We can tell our lovely selves that there is nothing we can do which excuses us from living in the present moment. Withdrawing into what may feel like a safety zone, creates a numbness.

It is imperative that we find an action that aligns with our inner being. If we do not have an opinion, then maybe it is time to reach inside and get in touch with our belief system. Perhaps, we are afraid to give voice to our preferences and that is certainly understandable. This however, is not an excuse to not know where we stand.

It is a false concept to believe we are limited. There are always options, but energy must be used to explore them. Exploring what is in our heart, accepting our desires, and building personal strength advances us towards clarity in action. Our power needs to be regenerated through whatever means we choose, but there must be some level of action.

Unfurling!

"Your relationship with yourself sets the tone

for every other relationship you have."

Robert Holden

My pen could hardly keep up with my exploding thoughts of insight. As each ignited, there was increased light into my own dark habits. The experience pushed me to hold myself accountable for personal perceptions which were sabotaging happiness. Through new eyes, I could see how my life was being muted by passive reactions.

Tearing paper into strips, I began jotting down negative thoughts that were restricting my daily experiences. I could feel expansion with the release of each brief entry. Taking a glass pickle jar, I carefully folded each strip and placed them into the repurposed container. This would be a reminder of how I kept myself dummied down.

If I felt a person didn't know me, perhaps I have kept my unique self hidden. If I have a passion for tenderly holding a book for it's feel and fragrance, why am I only using a kindle? If someone is disrespecting me, maybe I need to respect myself and walk away. Maybe, ultimately, I need to use my energy to unfurl who I am, rather than defend.

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Bundles ...

 

"No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another."

Charles Dickens

Out through the window, I observe random neighbors walking by through the blowing snow. Some are hauling bags of garbage to the dumpster, while others are quickly walking their beloved pets. With stocking hats pulled down across their faces and pajamas hanging down beneath heavy winter coats, one wonders which neighbor is which.

Another neighbor seems to be timidly sneaking up by the fence. He sets down a bulky object which I immediately recognize as a sleeping bag. As though word has leaked out, here comes another who drapes a combo of hat, gloves, and scarf across the fence. Yet another with a bulky blanket! The stock pile grows waiting for anyone in need.

Later, I glance outside to notice it has stopped snowing. The donated offerings are long gone, and my heart remembers the kind hearted actions of others. My spirits are uplifted with the reminder there are endless good people in this world, and how we must join in with them. I bundle up, brave the wind, and scrape the snow off my neighbor's car! 

Looming Potential

"Above all, be the heroine of your life.

Not the victim."

Nora Ephron

My favorite antique cup slipped from my hands and smashed to the floor. After a few seconds of disbelief, I scooped up the pieces. Even though it was obvious it could never be restored, I tried gluing it back together. Sadly, water seeped through the cracks. I felt stuck in the realization that it was gone for good.

As I believe in waking dreams, I began to wonder what message I was to receive. Perhaps I was meant to understand that things become broken and although repair can be a temporary fix, my focus needs to shift forward. Investing in what will never be the same, seems counter productive. 

Symbolically, I felt the Universe was telling me that things do not stay the same, but there is a vast amount of potential looming in front of me. I can choose to mourn what has been lost or I can invest my curiosity into what is yet to come. I may not be able to change what occurs, but I can use my personal power to make creative advancement.

 

Resurrection, Not Death

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;

the most massive characters are seared with scars."

Khalil Gibran

There are times we must go back and rip the scabs from old wounds in order for deep healing to occur. Often, this will cause the injury to scar, remaining as a reminder of what had taken place.  Scars are like a heavy stitching holding broken pieces together. As we age, our skin loosens, changing the exact location of the injury.

Isolated, in the quietness presented by snow, I sit tapping on an ancient emotional scar. Years have passed and it is time to revisit it once again to explore shifts in perception. This time I view the scar not as a victim, but as an observer yearning to learn. I find myself seeking how the incident forced me into unexpected directions.

Wondering how I might be different today if this incident had not happened, I come to understand that great strength had been triggered and perhaps that is where my focus aught to be. The unfortunate happening pushed me into unearthing parts of the self I never knew I had. Now, the scar is a reminder of my resurrection, not my death.

Black Raven, Mystical and Magical

"The raven is a bird of birth and death, 

and it is a bird of mysticism and magic."

Ted Andrews

Animals Speak

It was far too cold for me to walk in the park, but my body was screaming for movement. I bundled up and braved the bitter cold. My eyes were cast downward watching for ice, but I heard movement and looked up. There was a black bird flying right above me. The quick look wasn't enough to determine if it were a raven or a crow.

The black bird swooped by me, again, and settled into a tree. At this closer viewpoint, there was no doubt it was a raven. I know they are known to be strong, creative, and actively work the magic of spirituality on this physical plain. They are known to carry messages awakening our own magic within. Silently, I thanked the raven for appearing.

Back home, I grabbed my journal and jotted down characteristics of the raven.  Black ravens fly into the light, so maybe I need to release what I am repressing. Perhaps I need to recall my inner magic and create positive actions. I can let some things die while birthing others. I must choose to take flight, peacefully moving into the light. 

 

Sending Light ...

"Sending love and light to everyone who needs it."

Allen Snyder

Cold weather can chill our hearts. We have the tendency to withdraw physically and emotionally which leads to loneliness. If we are not feeding our spirits with appreciation, laughter, and gratitude, we grow weary. Not seeing our reflection in the presence of others, we may forget our personal power.

As we sit by a fire or wrap our lovely selves in heavy blankets, our eyes can gently close and begin to visualize. Whatever warms our soul is what we need to bring to mind. Whether we imagine our grandchildren, a sunny beach, or a perfect garden, our senses return to thoughts of connection and love.

We might be missing work or favorite monthly gatherings, but in choosing prayer or meditation our time can be productively expanded. Exercising our creative energy fosters new beginnings. During random gaps in our day, choose to send loving light out to others whether friend or foe. 

 

Fleeting Interactions

"Finding a deep soul connection is rare and beautiful in a world of fleeting interactions. 

It's a relationship that transcends"

Soul Connection

Throughout life, we meet strangers who feel like long time friends. There is an immediate link joining us instantly together. No matter how brief the interaction, the memory lingers over time. There may be an unexplainable exchange that cannot take the form of words. It is a knowing that something significant has transpired.

The situation may be irrelevant and the conversation might even be fragmented. There is, however, a gut feeling that the recognition may go beyond time. A curiosity prevails as we are uncertain of this seemingly random exchange. It may even feel as though this meeting is not in real time.

We may remain curious about this person and how the unplanned encounter remains so poignantly lodged in memory. We may question if he or she were an angel sent from heaven, an old soul with a message or a loved one from another existence. The gift, of course, is the realization that souls are forever connected, so harm no one.

Unspoken Words

 

"Hands have their own language."

Simon Van Booy

Holding hands generates an unspoken language. The connection impacts us on many levels no matter how young or old we happen to be. We feel joy in having an infant wrap their tiny little hand around our finger. A bond is generated as we walk with a toddler, hands together. In addition to the intimacy of hand holding with a lover, opportunities abound.

When we are faced with horrific trauma, there is nothing like clasping hands with a sister of our heart. As parents age, it becomes natural to hold their hand in support. When we touch the face to wipe off tears or massage away a pain, it is both physical and emotional. The lightest touch can lift a sorrowful soul.

Hands that are clasped together generate a shift in energy. Whether we are in prayer or responsive clapping, a form of tenderness elevates our spirits. Whether we are extending our hand in introduction or simply giving a wave, there is recognition that touches and unites without the spoken word.

Pure Heart ...

"Day by day become more and more intimate with the inner stillness,

joy and love which is the fragrance of your own pure heart."

Mooji

We cannot effectively love others if we do not know our own heart. If we are incapable of loving the self, then we will be unsuccessful in fully loving others.When we experience the stillness of our own heart, division falls away making room for union. There will be strength in accepting the faults of our own as well as of others.

We must never turn our heads from abusive behavior, but we can hold space with loving kindness where others may grow. There is no such thing as perfection, but clear vision of reality creates the bonds that hold us. The behaviors of others reflect insights right back to us. Pure hearts are teachers to the soul.

Establishing inner joy will assist in attracting healthy relationships; whereas, chasing after fantasy can darken any heart. Working knowledge of who we truly are enables our hearts to shine. When love is attracted to us, we will be fully aware of what we have to offer, and not settle for anyone who does not resonate with our pure heart.

Very Old Friends

 

"Your heart and my heart are very, very old friends."

Hafez

As we grow into our lovely selves, hearts need less protection. We do not experience less heart ache, but the depth of the lessons impact us on cross sectional levels. It ceases to be about criticism and judgment, but rather about what is to be learned. With opened hearts, we are less likely to be triggered by reactions from dysfunctional patterns.

When two hearts come together with eyes of love, there is hope for peaceful existence. There is a joint effort to unfold measures that are beneficial for both individuals. The "I" becomes "we" which resonates out into the greater landscape of life. When each heart truly sees the other, individual respect leads to deeper connections.

The Divine light that pulses in the heart, recognizes the Divine light in the hearts of others. Whether friend or foe, respect must override the impulse of destruction. If the discord cannot be resolved, then let go and walk away without harm. Two hearts, created by the same God, may have been friends in previous lifetimes, so do not raise the sword.

Honest Abe

"Whatever you are, be a good one."

Abraham Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln is a perfect example of how we are capable of coming from any background and continuously learn how to adapt to understand others. His restraints may have been of a political nature, but he continued to seek individual goodness in others.  Unable to divert conflict, he focused on collective resolve.

In history, Abraham Lincoln is portrayed as having heartfelt exchanges. He developed relationships with people from differing walks of life which broadened his concepts. He was more apt to be found sitting at a round table of discussion rather than standing at a podium talking down to others.

Advances can be quantitative when strengths are shared and blended with others. When consideration is based on multiple viewpoints, the extent of success lengthens. When coming together is highlighted, overcoming the temptation to stroke one's ego, decisions tend to be more respectful and advantageous. 

Bleeding Hearts

"No more apologies for a bleeding heart when the opposite

is no heart at all. Danger of losing our humanity must

be met with more humanity."

Toni Morrison

There was a time when being called a bleeding heart was meant to be an insult. It was a criticism for caring deeply about something that perhaps was not socially acceptable. It depicted a person who had not only thought about justice, but took action to support it. A bleeding heart tended to be filled with passion.

As an individual grows into his or her self, they are more likely to embrace a heavy emotional make up. Caring can be crafted into a skill that enables a fellow human being to pursue a search towards acceptance, enhancement, and success. Being sensitive can be a technique used to find guidance and the pathway home.

A person labeled a bleeding heart is not found at the top of the career ladder, puffed with self-gratification. He or she is the person at the bottom of the ladder, steadying it while encouraging others to climb. They are a magnet pulling others together to better the world with individual magnitude.

Lifting Spirits for Others

"There are souls in this world who have the gift of of finding joy

everywhere, and leaving it behind them when they go."

Frederick William Faber

Valentine's Day is coming, and let us find delight by creating the joy of giving. Gather what is needed to make anonymous treats for friends, neighbors and random strangers. Brown lunch bags adorned with a heart are perfect for a wide varieties of surprises. Drop a few tea lights and a favorite poem, bake cookies or pass on a favorite keepsake.

Maybe we can drop in on a neighbor offering to run them to the store, mail a package or watch the squalling siblings. Bring a favorite mug and tea to a friend's home, leaving the mug behind. There are numerous ways in which we can give that will lift the spirits of others at no cost to ourselves.

Even if we are experiencing the need to be isolated, there are still options. Dig out a favorite book and inscribe who should eventually be the owner. Make a collage out of cards that have been kept. Grab colored pens and doodle flagrantly. Choose a meditation and send the unleashed joy to loved ones. Which will you do?

 

Adjusting Focal Points

 

"Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter

what is going on around them."

Jack Canfield

On the right is masculine energy ready to support chosen action.  Then to the left is feminine energy allowing tender kindness. Then there is the core existing in the middle wondering which side to grasp. Slowly, wisdom floats into thoughts, reminding us that one needs to blend both sides in order to navigate clearly.  

Often times, we are standing too close to a subject matter. Observing too intensely, we lose focus on the bigger picture. Conversely, if our vision streams from too far away, details fade and tend to be overlooked. It is to our benefit to appraise an emerging picture from numerous sides before finalizing assessment.

One of the hardest aspects of life is suspending the self, allowing time for all things to align. It is a false expectation to have all of the answers to life in any given moment. Hold closely to what we know to be truth while opening to new possibilities. While observing, notice what resonates and supports positive thinking.

Choice To Turn

"We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is

 the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are."

J.K. Rowling

Our individual journey winds us through both mountains and valleys. Our pathway includes facing our darkest shadows, followed by brilliant light to heal our souls. Entering darkness cannot be fully avoided as that is where we learn these difficult lessons. It is our light that will safely lead us through confusion, loss and despair. 

Although absolute darkness can heighten understanding, without returning to a mixed  balance of light, surroundings grow harmful. While listening to others, whether friend or foe, we can be tainted by negativity.  One must choose to turn away and face the light to  be reminded of who we really are.

We may become suffocated by darkness and blinded by light, so again there must be a fluid yin and yang. With conscious decision making, we regulate exposure through choice. Know when to walk away or how to reach out. When fully grounded, our inner spirit will safely guide us to and fro.

 

Challenged By Connection

"Staying connected, even when things aren't ideal, can 

mean learning how to navigate challenges in a way 

that protects your mental health." 

Nedra Glover

Once we move beyond the 'either~or' scenario, new understanding can surface. Strengthening boundaries for emotional, physical, and spiritual security is important, but we have other choices beyond fight or flight. Elasticity in both our thinking and presence allows wiggle room for an element of mutual acceptance or tolerance.

Remembering that we have choice can adjust involvement, commitment, and relationship. In some instances, we can maintain a friendship while taking a time out. We can reduce drama by reducing exposure to news, limit engagement with those who annoy us, and redefine how and where we spend our time.

We delude ourselves by thinking we have to declare a reason for change in our decisions, but this is not true. We can gently decline by simply saying, "Maybe another time". We can shift topics to release discomfort. Enlarge the group, rather than exclusive one on one. If these attempts do not help, then sadly, it may be time to let go. 

 

****INC Candles

 

Savor Positive Energy

"Reach high, for stars lie hidden in you.

Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal."

Rabindranath Tagore

When soaring, feeling aligned with all there is, do we save some of this energy or do we blast forward until it runs dry? We know how to conserve in many areas of our lives, but how about mindfully prolonging our positive mindsets? As days consistently become more intense, we can benefit from monitoring and refurbishing our positive attitudes.

In order to spring forward, we must nurture our soul, be gentle with our bodies, and nourish our emotions. This requires action, not just pleasant thoughts. There is a need to be deliberate just as we would with any other agenda. Setting intentions daily with appropriate follow through heightens the likelihood of maintaining balance.

Mantras in the morning, stretches at noon, and sacred space wedged in between commitments need to be routine. Read, write, and create to release any pent up feelings. Use the voice to reset boundaries, express concerns, and relate with kindred spirits. Ask for help from the Divine and believe in personal power to help change the world.

The Same, Yet Different

"For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you."

Walt Whitman

Growing up in the city, diversity was prevalent. I was exposed to different religions which shaped my views to be ecumenical. It was not unusual to overhear languages unknown to myself. Walking through neighborhoods, I certainly was aware of both rich and poor. People intrigued me, as we were all so very different.

Perhaps I was oblivious, but there was never pressure to dress a certain way.  Appropriately, yes, but in my own way. Always an array of styles, I learned to choose what I liked or what I felt good in. The search to discover personal identity was usually intense, but I believed that we were all looking for answers to reflect who we were meant to be.

I believe we are all good people. It's just that we fail to make good choices, resist healing, and fall into darkness. We are all children of God with free will to learn from each other. I can not bring myself to hate. Yes, I may be opposed to other perceptions, but I will do my best to understand. Until death, I will shine my light to see and hopefully be seen.

 

A Walk In The Park

"We are all broken and wounded in this world. Some choose

to grow strong at the broken places."

Harold J. Duarte-Bernhardt

Yesterday with temperatures reaching high 50's, I met with a 'cherished' friend for a long walk at the park. With the sun shining on our faces, we found laughter oozing from our cooped up souls. There were no strangers, just friendly faces excited to be back outside with dog lovers, strollers, screeching geese and a gentle breeze.

For over two decades, we have walked sharing both joy and sorrow. We have allowed ourselves to be 'seen' and simply present in vulnerable moments. It is in this space, my favorite park, that I am reminded that the broken human spirit can be healed. We must choose who will surround us and where we will be best nourished.

There is hope with each step I take that there is healing available while all else falls apart. There may be little that I can do, but maintaining peace of mind ushers in clarity. Insight  helps me to embrace reality and simply be present for myself and others. I will return to this park, often, to be reminded that I am never-ending love.

Blow The Roof Off

"You've gotta blow the roof off of your heart and let the universe in."

Lou Reed

There was a time in my life when 'blowing the roof off' had a party reference. In this day, harsh images of roofs being torn off by storms or burned by fires or neglected beyond compare fill my mind. Evaluating the symbolism of damaged roofs, I find myself looking up into the new found light, being prompted to seek beyond limitations. 

When carrying emotional heaviness, I have the tendency to walk with my head bent down, limiting  my  perceptions from intervention. Even in my thoughts, fear over powers the gentle voices trying to guide me. These tainted visions restrict possibility of seeing a positive just waiting to uplift me, to change my view and rebuild.

So much is out of my control, but when my eyes gaze up there is a sense of restoration. I am not in this life alone nor am I meant to find answers by myself. Guidance is surrounding me, whether it comes from nature, kindred spirits, reading or becoming lost in a candle flame. When darkness falls, I must remember to blow the roof off so that my heart can be gently restored.

 

Synchronistic Kindness

"Synchronicity, an ever present reality for those who have eyes to see."

Carl Jung

Forever willing to exchange friendly smiles with strangers, I smiled at the woman behind me in line with groceries. I placed the divider up separating our orders and she began to place her items behind mine. Jokingly, I said "Don't worry, I won't pay for any of yours!" She laughed and we agreed how wonderful it would be to do just that.

Headed towards my car, the woman came running after me. She had a huge smile on her face and she was laughing. "Guess what," she said, "the guy behind me just paid for my groceries!" Joy spread between us and we hugged like old friends. Apparently, the man had overheard our conversation and was prompted to be generous.

The exchange between this woman and myself was not about scoring free groceries. This event was about total strangers being fun human beings, not guarded or scared. This world needs us to reach out to each other, friends and strangers alike. Our world is filled with compassionate people, just waiting to be kind.

February Calling Us Forward

 

"You are powerful in whatever moment you choose to be."

Marianne Williamson

A new month stretches before us, waiting for our imprint. The sun shines on us, wondering what it will see today. The moon slides across the sky, as if guiding us through the darkness. The days of February are waiting on the side lines, wondering when they will be called and how they will be filled.

While balancing the feminine and masculine energies, we allow our authentic self to come forward anxiously awaiting what we will do. How will we use our skills, face our fears, and better the lives of others? Being called forward, we will find ourselves stepping over blockages, and mounting unexpected barriers.

These February days before us are open, willing and excited, but are we? Will we choose to do things differently or will we remain trapped in old patterns. In what way will we make waves at the risk of harmony? Be simple in each day, not caught up in illusions of fear. Believe in goodness and spread it wildly across the haze.