Keep Trying

 

"It will get easier each time, I think.

I hope. I just have to keep trying."

jenny han

Days of Christmas are finally passing, and I turn to stare at the New Year.  I continue to rekindle my desire to remain in the moment, but I am experiencing a dread of New Year's Eve.  It has been an evening adjusted, redesigned and altered, but it has been a sign of new beginnings.

Here of late, I realize my thoughts are secretly hoping that 2020 will end and 2021 will bring a year of health and happiness; but, I know this is disallustional.  No matter how many candles I burn or how long I read and meditate, the clocks will turn and Covid will not have disappeared.

With force, I bring my intentions to aspirations that will continue to tolerate isolation and fear.  My ego must no longer lead me into stages of despair, but encourage me from moment to moment.  It is was it is and I must choose accordingly.  I can have hope, faith, and appropriate goals to continue forward outside of the 'poor me' mode or hiding in the darkness.  This too shall pass.