Hallucination

 

"Fumbling in the dark and watching now

For new light to help me find my way."

Kate McGahan

A few days prior to Christmas I promised myself to maintain focus of the light until the New Year appeared on calendars.  I was sincere and determined, but found my lovely self faltering as early as Christmas morn.  

To ensure success, I had an outline to spread across my day, eliminating pockets of potential darkness.  Resources were waiting and I was confident in creating an uplifting Christmas Day to begin substitution for traditional family ways.

Christmas Day began with squeals from the kiddo's response to Santa's visit.  A delicious breakfast was prepared and I even had time to send off some quick messages to the sister's of my heart and a few immediate family conversations, but not all.  Then communication of all kind went dead. Darkness came without notice forcing us into an even deeper adjustment to our 2020 holiday.  Baffled, I experienced both thankfulness for curtailed bombing impact and grateful to be with my loving family; however,  it definitely knocked me out of my hallucination of mastering the light!