"Wholeness does not mean perfection; It means embracing
brokenness as an integral part of life."
Parker J. Palmer
Perfection was never a driving force in my life. I tended to yearn more for acceptance and belonging. In doing so, there was never a requirement for relationships to be perfect. My willingness to accept each other as wounded souls, often provided lesser than outcomes.
The difference between perfection and holding out for what one truly wanted was never made clear to me. Eager to please, I became a chameleon to blend into any situation with the desire to find love. It should be no surprise that most relationships had one common denominator ... both of us loved him catering to his needs, desires, and dreams come true. In some ways I believed in making myself devoted to a person, I would never be cast aside.
There never was a time earlier on where I would consider what I wanted from a relationship. I prided myself in being humble and not asking for too much. I endured insults and betrayals by minimizing, avoidance and denial. Eventually, I was able to ask, "What about me?" without feeling selfish. We are all broken in some ways, and through self-compassion and healing processes, we learn to discern a better balance to relationships with each other.
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