Encourage, Not Enable

"To truly motivate others 1. discover what their motives, desires, and

drivers are 2. genuinely connect with and support them from the heart."

Rasheed Ogunlaru

The heart yearns to help our friends who are struggling and it pains us to see our family members fall unto hard times.  Our heart's reaction is to immediately fix whatever the challenge is; however, the challenge is not for us, it is for them.

So how can we help those in need without simply enabling them, or allowing them to edge around the lesson which will eventually repeat itself?   Communication is number one.  Truly listen with your heart to how the person describes the problem and what options of repair do they see?  Avoid editing his or her response with our own ideas.  We must begin where they are and not where we think they should be.  

Listening without interruption can be helpful in itself.  It allows the speaker to sort through and organize the chaos tangled in the mind.  If we are simply being silent yet attentive, the one sharing feels freedom rather than judgment.  We gather the information they have shared, and encourage them along those lines.  It is not about how we would change something and it is not about us accepting responsibility.  Instill courage and strength along the lines of what they have shared.