The True Home

In the cave of the heart, the true I

Radiates alone with a subtle light:

The one essence shining forth without defect ~

Blissful consciousness of Being.

Oleg Mogilever

(trans Nadhia Sutara)

Inquiry into the "I'

For many years, my focus was on "Who am I?" while discovering what part I was playing in the greater theater of the Universe.  My attempt to identify myself with worldly labels left me empty lacking a sense of passion.  Upon realizing all I was seeking resided within me, satisfied my yearnings and allowed me time to explore my gifts and how I was to use them.

The other day a friend remarked about the difference between helping and serving and it is a point worth sharing.  When you help someone, there is occasion to become an enabler or to become a barrier to a lesson the person needs to experience.  In serving, a person is assisting and empowering the other person.  The individual is led to a higher understanding, actualizing personal growth.  It is no longer about 'me' anymore, but it is about how Divine Spirit can best use me to serve others.

Instead of using my energy to be seeking from outside of myself, I sit filled with bliss just being connected to the radiant inner light of my soul.  This is the true home.  This stillness is the source of comfort and hope.  The whispers of the soul create vivid images of inspiration and flight.  There is no better place to be. 

Fruitless Race

Today, I resolve not to change myself,

but to accept myself.

Today, I seek not to repress my nature,

but express it.

Julia Cameron

TRANSITIONS



We spend years trying to be like others, wearing the right clothes, landing the right job or joining the right organization.  All of this energy could be better invested in discovering our own authenticity.   Our fingerprints are unique just as our personality traits are  individually blended.  We are original and we must strive to fully become who we were meant to be.

Some where along the growth and development process, we finally give up the fruitless race of trying to be some one else.  We begin to focus on our own strengths and explore how they can be used to serve others in making the world a better place.

Even when we become successful in our own endeavors, we still do not  necessarily celebrate our unique abilities.  At the grocery store the other day, a woman caught her cart in a large produce wagon.  I noticed her struggling, so I walked over and said, "Here, let me help."  She immediately began apologizing for being so stupid, for not being more careful ... the tirade went on.   When the cart was finally dislodged, she gave me a huge smile and exclaimed, "You are the kindest person."  I immediately replied, "Not any kinder than you." She then immediately fell back into her tirade of berating herself.  Such a pity she was so uncomfortable with any compliment or any positive reflection of her very  lovely self.  I spoke with her a few more minutes.  I watched her almost cower as she talked and appeared to almost cringe with any kind word.  She avoided eye contact and seemed extremely awkward.  I could not help but wonder what part of life had beaten her so down. 

Some of us do not need enemies as we mentally badger our selves in spite of our goodness.  We minimize our accomplishments and become excruciatingly harsh if we miss just a step or two.  Our ego can be mean and cruel inside of our heads, leaving us devastated and depleted. 

When we become aware of the critic demeaning us, we need to turn the 'voice' off.  It is vitally important for us to be gentle and respectful with our selves.  If we do not treat our selves well, then why should any one else?  We must set an example of honoring our skills and respecting our unique place in this very large world.  There is a place of honor for everyone; really, there is plenty of room. 

 

Fly

“Your hand opens and closes, opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralysed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as birds' wings.”

― Rumi,

Essential Rumi 

 

 

 

After numerous lessons from life, we realize the need for balance whether it is with sleep, food, exercise, work or relationship.  We understand the phrases about not appreciating light without darkness or joy without sorrow or fortune without misfortune.  Over and over again we begin the walk across the tightrope hoping to use impeccable footing, and not fall, intending to create perfect balance. 

Time passes and we develop a sense of when we are tipping the scales without conscious focus.  We just know what we need and what we need to shed.  It is as simple as breathing in and out if we but discipline our behaviors.

When we have tentatively mastered balance, we seem to experience the momentum changing.  Life seems to slow down and we grow impatient, and then without any indication, life will also speed up leaving no time for real time.  There can be somewhat of a whiplash effect.

So back on the tightrope, we have secured in our memory every step to perfection, but then the rope begins to contract and then expand.  We find our selves desperately struggling to adjust our gait to adapt to these uncertainties.

And is this not what life is ... a series of uncertainties?  Intention and deliberate organization will not hold strong against the winds of change.  We must be adjustable when faced with the unpredictable and flexible with the illusion of certainty.  Finding comfort when we are confined by time and peaceful when we are expanded in creation is necessary for experience with balance.

It is when we gather acceptance and compassion into our heart that we finally become authentic and discover true appreciation and gratitude.  The unnecessary has been discarded through trial and error and we create anew with resilience.  It is through this labor of contraction and expansion we learn to spread our wings and fly.

One Slip of Paper

 

I wanna be the best in at least one thing in this life.

~ Toba Beta

We stack up years of life experience, thousands of dollars in education, numerous career moves, and we still wonder what we will be when we grow up.   It all gets rather confusing as we need to address all parts of our selves ... family, career, spiritual, physical, and mental.  We have many sides to our human form and our focus can become quite skewed in our attempt at wholeness.   It is ironic that the most important part of the equation for living a full life is discovered so much later in life. 

Think of it as trying to build a bicycle without directions.  We can make several test trials, errors, rebuilds, and experience very few moments of pleasure before it all falls apart.  When we have finally come close to giving up, the owner's manual arrives.  Just browsing through the directions, we easily understand what we were trying to do was ineffective.   The instructions help us to see our task from a different perspective.  Then we begin to build once again.

If we indeed came with an owner's manual, perhaps we would speed read, or skip pages, or misplace the book.  Maybe we would seek out the 'cliff notes' version and miss the importance of trial by error.  We would compare our mannual to others and become so overwhelmed with conflicting information we might end up a jack of all trades, and master of none.

In my heart, I don't think we would ever be born with an owner's manual.  At best, we would be born with one slip of paper with one message delicately scrawled across it.  It would read:   Be the best version of you!

The Option of Hope

 A man's face is his autobiography. 

A woman's face is her work of fiction.

Oscar Wilde

My dear friend Nancy is always directing me to wonderful information I would otherwise miss.  She brought to my attention a website by Jeff Foster.  Through his writing, I learned a  positive and supportive concept  regarding individuals facing  suicide, a subject we usually would choose to ignore.

Jeff Foster points out that many individuals considering suicide, really don't want to end their life, they just want to end the falseness that has been built into their lives.    The heaviness of dragging around masks of deception, and the pain of not being who they intended to be,  have created such a terrible burden they just want it to end.  Do they really want to die?  No, they just want the nightmare to end and at the moment, they cannot see any other way out as they are exhausted and desperate.  (Jeff Foster's website:  http://www.lifewithoutacentre.com )

Jeff Foster's website records the story of his presence with a suicidal wealthy single mom.  He was not there as a therapist, nor was he  there to talk her out of her decision.  He simply sat with her as a passive listener as she unloaded all of the burdens of her life.  Just his quiet presence encouraged her hour after hour to continue emptying the disappointments and disillusions of her life.

In time, the woman began to talk about what she originally intended for her life and the aspirations she held as a mother to her only child.  As she recalled her earlier dreams and desires, a spark of life returned to her.  She became curious as to how she might disassemble  her current life and rebuild her newly recalled dreams and desires.  She had created an option for herself, one that is available to us all ... hope.

It is never too late to reconstruct our lives rather than ending them.  It may take some doing, but the desire to return to our authentic self will give us hope which can be a brilliant light to lead us out of our darkness.

Cultivate a Sense of Worthiness

The appearance of things change according to the emotions,

and thus we see magic and beauty in them,

while the magic and beauty are really in ourselves.

Kahlil Gibran

Lebanese Poet and Philosopher

We are all resilient creatures entitled to a life of abundance, creative expression, and good health.  Born into this physical world, we bring unique gifts and talents to be used in carving our imprint upon our own life and the lives of others. 

We are not meant to be the same nor are we meant to be ruthlessly competitive.  In the truest sense of living, we are meant to compliment, encourage and inspire each other.  At times, we are also called to challenge, but never conquer.  Sometimes we are the teacher and often times, the teacher becomes the student.

If the only person we can truly change is our self, we must continue to go within, discovering our connection with Divine Spirit.  Through prayer, meditation or contemplation, we tap into wisdom, insight, and inspiration which encourages personal empowerment ... not a physical power over others, but the essence and the importance of the spiritual abilities we each possess. 

If we do not cultivate a sense of worthiness, we will never be able to make the change we most want to see.  We will continue to have a yearning and a sense of unfulfillment no matter what material accomplishments we achieve. 

By achieving the sense of self-worth, we can slow down and become aware of the beauty we each behold.  Instead of being threatened, we can celebrate the differences between us.  If we open our hearts with compassion, attempt to understand differences between us, and join our efforts towards common goals, our world will be a source of comfort.  Love becomes the bond holding us together.

Mother's Day ...

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters

of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you,

but not from you,

And though they are with you yet

they belong not to you.

You may give them your love,

but not your thoughts,

for they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies,

but not their souls,

for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit,

not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

but seek not to make them like you.

Kahlil Gibran

 On Children 
                                                                         

As a child when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always the same.  I wanted to be a 'mom'.  I wanted to be a really good mom.  When I graduated from college, I still wanted to be a 'mom' and not an ordinary one either.

I chose to bring four children into this world.  At the time, I had no idea what challenges these babies would bring nor how many decisions I would have to be make, but I certainly did not anticipate the extent their lives would have upon mine. 

I once read an article quoting an adoptive father upon receiving his first child.  The quote was, "I can hardly wait to watch this child unfold, to discover the magnificence of this life."  It was refreshing to read about a parent who was not designing the path of the child. 

My three boys were nothing alike and yet there were so many similarities.  What I learned with my first son certainly didn't help me with my second or third son.  Each child needed differing rules, individual guidance, and unique experiences.  Then my fourth child was a girl surprising us all.  We each gave her a part of our self which she blended into her

own creative spirit.

I raised my children to be independent, desiring to nurture strengths and strengthen weaknesses.  It was vitally important

to me that they established and maintained a sense of belonging to each other no matter what life brought forth on any given day.

As my children evolved into their own individual spirits, they taught me trust, faith, and the deepest sense of love I had ever experienced.  They certainly became aware of my short comings, personal challenges, and determination to become more fully 'me'.  There were difficult times for all of us, and the consequences shaped us into who we are today.

Being a mother has been the most important role I have had in my life time.  I know in my heart I did my best and acknowledge that often my best was not enough.  Motherhood grew me emotionally and spiritually, the teacher becoming the student.  I will always be grateful for having the privilege of bringing these four special souls into the physical and I honor the individual paths they have followed.

May the blessings be ...

Finding True Meaning

The finest thing in the world

is knowing

how to belong to oneself.

Michel de Montaigne

Of Solitude

Through contemplation and introspection we draw upon our inner wisdom as well as life's experience in discovery of our true nature.  Before we can accomplish a sense of wholeness, we must explore and embrace unknown parts of our self.  Equally important, we need to be able to define and express our personal values and ethics. 

We each have integrity and honesty and the degree to which we utilize these qualities in our life creates a pattern.  This pattern reflects who we are, how we attend to details, if we are organized and the manner in which we embrace beauty.  These things portray our basic nature.

To benefit from inner work, we spend time alone.  This time is needed for psychological, emotional, and environmental space.  As we grow to understand our discoveries, we begin to radiate this growth out into the world. 

Through inner exploration, we become aware of what is meaningful and heartfelt to our personal life.  Using this information to guide us, we can eliminate what no longer has purpose and embrace a new sense of living.  We will have a better understanding of who we really are and will become more comfortable in being our original self.

When this is accomplished, the long search for filling the void within is over.  We are able to turn to our inner self for answers we have been seeking else where.  Filled with integrity and honesty, we are able to navigate in relationships and in life purpose, finding true meaning and significance.

  

To Make a Difference

I want an earth that is healthy,

a world at peace,

and a heart filled with love.

I want my life to count.

Eknath Easwaran

Words to Live By

It is easy to be defined by the varying roles we play in life whether it is parent, career person, community icon, or lover.  Eventually, however, all of these labels fall short of the identity we long to have. 

It is ironic that we spend so many years of our life adding layers to our personality, only to spend our later years discarding all of the unnecessary debris.  We long to uncover our authentic essence and be truly who we were originally meant to be. 

It is exhausting to project an image of someone we are not and it takes courage to become who we were meant to be all along.  We need to nurture both our bodies and our earth to achieve an ideal state of health.  When we create peace within, we personally begin to initiate peace on earth.   It is only when we love our inner selves that we can extend true love to others.  We want our lives to count, to make a difference.

For me personally, I have chosen three qualities to lead me to authenticity:  unconditional love, integrity, and courage.  If I can successfully embrace these three things, surely my life can make a difference!

Little Opportunities

Opportunities multiply

as they are seized.

Sun Tzu

There is much to be said for major life changing experiences requiring deep thought and consideration.  We frequently forget, however, the little opportunities that can collectively shape the direction of our lives.

When paying attention, our daily lives are filled with small exchanges that when acted upon, adjusts our self-respect and shifts our perception of others.  When we stay in the moment, we are much more apt to catch the little opportunities to bring a breath of fresh air or a ray of sunshine into life.

The other day, I was sitting at an outdoor cafe enjoying coffee.  I am a people watcher, love to sketch, and frequently jot notes into my journal.  While I enjoyed my morning, the behavior of the people around me became teachers of the gifts found in the little moments of our day.

At a table near by, a woman sat by herself staring into her cup of coffee.  A muffin sat on her plate, untouched.  Her body language reflected an attitude of loneliness, slouched as though she were carrying a heavy weight.   A small part of me thought of striking up a conversation (Spirit probably nudging me), but I was settled in and looked the other way.

A short time passed and the tables were full.  A new woman was carrying around her breakfast tray looking for a place to sit.  She approached the woman whom appeared lonely and asked, "Might I join you just for a little bit?"  The body language of the lonely woman immediately shifted.  She perked up, sat straighter, and a warm smile spread across her face as she replied, "Oh, please do!"  As I watched, they ended up sharing their food and fell into a lively conversation like old friends. 

This was a little opportunity, nothing earth shattering or life changing, but significant changes were made.  The lonely woman's spirit was lifted, she felt included, and with the possibility of a new friend.  The other woman more than likely felt so glad she acted upon the nudge she felt to join the lonely woman.  She, too, must have felt happier and appreciated. 

Through out our day, we have little incidents pop up where we can decide to act selfishly or to honor the spirit of an other.   We may find a perfect parking spot right near the door, but choose the one three cars down as a gift to someone else.  We may allow the person with a grocery cart with only a few items to cut in line in front of us or wave another driver of a car to get in line ahead of us when the traffic is jammed. 

There are millions of little things.  A simple smile for a stranger, assistance to someone who is struggling with a door, help gather papers that have just been dropped or send a short random e-mail to a friend who has been on your mind.

Small and seemingly insignificant actions can change the attitude of someone for the remainder of the day.  Simple attention to a small detail may allow a loner to feel a part of a group.  To be included, rather than shut-out of a conversation can lift self-esteem and change the immediate perception of life. 

We don't have to wait for a financial wind fall to help others.  We don't need to wait for the perfect volunteer position. Through little opportunites, we can become instruments of peace, happiness, and kindness.  In return, our spirits will soar!

Savor, Digest, or Destroy

The great end to religious instruction

is not to stamp our minds upon the young,

but to stir up their own.

Not to make them see

with our eyes,

but to look inquiringly

and steadily

with their own.

William Ellry Channing

Eclectic reading presents my mind with a variety of ideas and I have the freedom to pick and choose the information I want to savor, digest, or destroy.  Frequently, I will express my thoughts while working out the facts in my head or waiting for feedback before I make my final decision.

Entertaining my mind with diverse thoughts helps me to continue to stretch and grow.  Expanding my mind enables me

a broader view of things said, accomplished or abandoned.  To remain neutral while accessing information, concepts can be understood without feeling threatened or prejudiced.

The same is true with my heart.  I have had to learn to hold it open not to just those I love.  Compassion and acceptance once established in the mind and heart can greatly add to the learning experience of life.  Our minds and hearts need to remain open.

As an articulate explorer of the written word and human experience, my views perhaps fall from the norm.  My intention is not to make believers out of listeners.  I simply desire to share what I have learned and expect others to embrace whatever resonates within them and to leave the rest.

A dear mentor of mine reminds me, "We have an obligation to speak our truth ... once.  And then let it go."  I write what I hold dear and what happens after that, well ... savor, digest, or destroy!

Fitting The Pieces Together

Conditions for creativity

are to be puzzled;

to accept conflict and tension;

to be born everyday;

to feel a sense of self.

ERICH FROMM

German born American

Philosopher/Psychoanalyst

1900-1980 

  

It is liberating to be free to create with our own gifts and talents.  Yet often times we are faced with conflict and become discouraged. Each day we start anew, and our creative gifts need to be expressed in a manner most comfortable to our inner being. In many instances, it takes years to discover the way to articulate or display our gifts in harmony and purpose.

Creativity comes in all shapes and sizes. It is not limited to music or painting or writing.  Inside of our being, there is a yearning to express our own sense of creativity.  Whether it is in mathematics or science, language arts or history, creativity plays a definite role.  We use creative expression in all that we do and it gives us a deeper sense of self.

From generation to generation, arts and crafts are frequently passed down.  There are third generation weavers or sculptors or carpenters. The art form may change from generation, but the basic skill threads its way through families.

My mother was very skilled in sketching which she used to design clothes and wedding gowns.  Her creativity was never used to its fullest and I believe this stunted her spirit.  

I received the gift of creativity as well, but unlike my mother, I cannot sew much more than a button.  I learned to express my creativity through different ways, such as: knitting, crocheting, candle~wicking, quilting, basket weaving, and various forms of painting.  

Although not skilled, I love to sketch in my journals which I have kept since childhood.  I have a passion for writing and it is my main outlet for creativity.  I have a gift for full color visualization in meditation which supplements both my spiritual life and daily activities.

Creativity has been passed down to my children as well.  My oldest son is very creative in building and story telling.  My next son finds mathematics to be a language  he speaks fluently.  My youngest son is gifted in carpentry and his gardens are filled with creative design.  My daughter, the youngest of the four, shows her creativity in her eclectic approaches while working as a therapist, and as a professor teaching to college grad students while dressing with original flair reflecting her creatively unique spirit.

Like mastering anything else, creativity takes time and patience.  Whether it is baking, cooking, gardening or furniture arranging, creativity must be cultivated with devotion and imagination.  We each have an obligation to explore gifts and talents as they are an important part of our personal and spiritual development and an excellent outlet for stress.

Life is like a jigsaw puzzle.  It is not until we fit several pieces together that we are able to see color and reason taking form.  As our lives begin to take shape, pieces do not necessarily fit together more easily, but the bigger picture becomes an incentive to carry on.  

Carry Your Holiday Light ...



               When Christmas bells are swinging

                above the fields of snow,

              We hear sweet voices ringing

                from lands of long ago,

               And etched on vacant places

                 are half-forgotten faces

                Of friends we used to cherish,

                    and loves we used to know.

"Christmas Fancies" - Poems of Power 

               - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Christmas songs, candles, and merriment frequently carry us down memory lane.  We recall friends who may be challenged by health issues or who may have transitioned through death.  Old childhood or neighborhood friends may come to mind.  Co-workers we promised to stay in touch with may have gently drifted away or life long friends may have discontinued contact.

Holidays can be filled with laughter as well as longing.  We miss what once was familiar and wonder if life will ever be the same.  No matter how satisfying our current relationships may be, remnants of lost love may still hang like cobwebs in the darkened hallways of our minds.

This year, when we raise our glass with a toast for the new year, will our glass be half-full or half-empty?  Will we be looking through the distorted lenses of illusion or through the colorful spectrum of creativity and imagination? 

Our lives become the product of our focus.  Embrace the possibility of dreams and untangle the fingers of fear.  Anticipate all that is positive and wise.  Carry your holiday light into your darkness, so there will be light forever more.



The Pure Joy Of Living

"When you are authentic,

you proceed from the

deepest place of empowerment

within you, and your words and actions

bear the most effective results.

When you do not act authentically,

you are not effective

because you are moving from

a place of fear or emptiness.

A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE

Alan Cohen

We enter this world unblemished, bringing a gift that no one else bears.  Our culture does not always celebrate our uniqueness, but rather grooms us for sameness.  The innocence of childhood empowers us, but in time it is worn away and replaced with a need to become like others.  This need creates a void that can be easily filled with fear and doubt.

The word power means to have control over, but it also refers to the personal power over the self.  If we are fortunate enough to be raised with loving and supportive peers, we will be proud of who we are maintaining our personal sense of self or power.  If we have grown up without personal recognition, however, our need to control or have external power increases. We then grow away from our inner core, taking on an incongruent identity. 

When we project a false image of our self, we attract relationships that are not in alignment with who we really are on the inside.  Acting out of fear or emptiness, we are not operating from a position of strength. 

Learning who we are or who we are meant to be can become a life time journey.  As we travel roads out into the world, we must also travel the paths leading within to remain connected to wholeness.

By being in touch with our inner desires and dreams,  people are not as apt to have control over us.  The need for approval is met through our own efforts and is not dependent upon outside gratification.

The pure joy of living is created by the enjoyment of who we truly are and through appreciation for the original work we bring into the world.  Acceptance and praise received from others is important, but if we do not first validate our self, we do not readily believe in the affirmations of others.