This Life of Me

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

 Description of a person born on June 30th:

"You are longing for the simpler things in life.  You are seeking quiet, solitude, and you enjoy large periods of time alone.  When you are in the company of others, you prefer it to be homey - perhaps just with friends and close family.  Your future is a happy one because you know what you like.  You enjoy authenticity and simplicity.  You are destined for a life free from drama, though be careful of getting too bored."

I am very much the same spirit I found myself to be as a child, but my humanness has changed dramatically.  It is difficult to see myself as others see me, and I am often caught off guard by compliments which are never well received.

To use one word to describe my action in this life time would be that of a seeker.  Since the beginning I have sought out the truth, finding myself hoodwinked into the truths of others.  It has taken a life time to create an accurate story using unbiased perceptions.

My daughter has been a radiant beacon whenever I have struggled in this life.  With sisters of my heart, a very special therapist, and exceptional experiences with energy work, I have drowned in emotion, and resurfaced with healing wounds with a willingness to see life through.

I trust myself to be a creative and engaged leader, but a very poor follower.  My path has been singular no matter how much surrounds me.  I have learned to embrace all aspects of my life, and feel no remorse as life is playing itself out in my later years.  I fear no death as I believe in a transition returning to a spiritual life.

I am grateful for forgiveness, unfolding wisdom, and the love of those choosing to be in my life.  I am deeply appreciative for my  long escapes into reading and writing, and cherish my solitary journey no matter where it may lead.  I lovingly embrace this life of "me".  

Words of Kindness

"Sit down, put your hand on your chest,

and stay awhile ... "

Kristin Ettinger

We are never truly aware of how we touch the lives of others.  For example, Kristen Ettinger sent this message to her sister, Sara:  "Sit down, put your hand on your chest, and stay awhile ... "  These simple words have become one of my personal mantras which probably would be a surprise for either Ettinger girl to know.  

There are just some days filled with angst or constant irritants clinging together like a ball of tar in the pit of my belly.  Sometimes I try to be 'above' the heaviness by pushing forward into other parts of the day.  Clearly, ignoring negativity is not the answer.

When I came across Kristin's words,  they immediately nurtured me right in the moment.  No candles, no music, and no lengthy meditation.  Just sit, connect, and linger.  I could feel the knots gently loosen and set me free.

Since coming across this simple remedy, my ability to stay in the moment has been increased.  I am able to face whatever is bothering me immediately, and then continue  on with a brightened spirit.  Let us strive to speak with words of kindness, so they may gently nurture the hearts of others.

Eager To Carry On

"Every seed has its full form within it,

but it needs the rain and the heat of the sun 

to become a full expression

into the world."

Mark Nepo

There are days we feel so lack luster and other days we feel like we can do no wrong.  The movement between these two attitudes creates an inner friction to bring us closer to the light.  Symbolically, it is the sand in the shell grinding to form the pearl.

As our passion grows, we still have internal doubts and resistance, creating the illusion of fear which leads to sabotage.  Then, the nurturing begins.  Our tears cleanse our thoughts, and the encouragement of others brings us sunshine.  New growth follows. 

It is our uncanny ability to forget earlier accomplishments leading us to the present moment.  We tend to disregard our abilities and question our motives.  It is like moving through sludge.  When we place our weary soul in the presence of a friend, the conversation begins to lift us up.  Without even being asked, the person witnessing the moment begins to comment on our earlier accomplishments and reminds us of how very far we have truly travelled.  With this wider scope for viewing, we no longer are stuck in our personal negative attack.  We are not only ready, but eager to carry on.

So the ups and downs, and the rain and the sun, are all important ingredients to our growth.  It takes the actual experience of moving through the process in order to produce our pearl.  If we remain cognizant of the process itself, we will have less resistance and our awareness will steady our steps.

Personal Limitations for Change

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am,

then I can change."   Carl Rogers

There are those who remain in a tight little bud throughout their life, squeezed rather tightly in a rigid pose.  Those who are willing to gently unfold, filled with curiosity expand to embrace the many gifts of life.  Neither is about right or wrong, but references our ability to accept our selves and change.

When we remain locked into a situation or mind frame, we are intimately damaging our self-image.  We are our own worst critics, addressing our lovely selves like we would never dare to address anyone else.  Our thoughts become poisonous filling the heart and mind with tainted exaggerations that eat away any sense of honor or respect.

It is when we can unconditionally love ourselves, accepting both weakness and strength, that our petals begin to unfold.  Insight gained by life's lessons can propel us forward continuing to enhance our experiences.

We move forward equipped with courage into the unknown.  We venture through the illusion of fear to discover possibilities on the other side.  Instead of wasting our energy on negativity, we can accept   our imperfection and use our energy to focus on the positivity available to us.  As human beings with free will, what will we choose ... remaining small or bursting open towards the sun?

  

Freedom of My Own

"Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, the power to retell it, rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it, and change it as time changes, truly are powerless because they cannot think new thoughts."

Salman Rushdie

My story began to spin in early childhood.  It welcomed a broad range of  characters  and as the story line grew, it became difficult to discern from reality.   As experiences cropped up, I fashioned them to fit within the context of my imagination.  Life was too fragile to question the shape or form it presented, as I needed to keep moving forward.

After years of living my story, I was able to finally step out of it for editing. With a mighty red pen, I corrected areas using less harsh examples.  With a permanent  marker, I blacked out paragraphs seemingly to be unimaginable.  The new draft of my fiction, seemed more acceptable if I were to share it.  It also triggered questions regarding the sources and accuracy of my material.

Through years of self-exploration, I have learned to stand outside of my childhood tale and be accountable  for the resistance and falsehoods of my life.  I can now understand the different roles I played and observe the impact I had on others.  

My writer's mind has filed each chapter of my life separately, deciphering repeated patterns that are not healthy for me.  With understanding the how and the why of incidents in my younger years, I can peel away layers of heaviness which had kept me depressed.  I can evaluate each passing moment of my day as an isolated event, not connected to any passed memory.  

It is easier to embrace individual moments with broadened vision to appreciate authentic significance before me.  I have a willingness to open my mind to alternative interpretations rather than tunneled through my childlike view.

As in all stories, there are permanent aspects of truth that cannot be changed.  I understand trauma shapes us into the character we become, but I am willing to tie my story to the tale of a kite, letting it fly into the sky, providing me with a freedom of my own.

Inhale Calm, Exhale Peace

"The degree to which I am blessed staggers me ...

the degree to which I take for granted shames me."

John Green

When life does not live up to our expectations, we can feel insignificant.  We forget our value resides within us, waiting to be polished and appreciated.  To seek outside of ourselves as a means to feel worthy is very short lived.  We may feel immediate gratification, but it passes rather quickly.

It is when we explore our inner authenticity, we begin to inhale calm and exhale peace.  Once reminded of all we have, we are overcome with gratitude.   The treasures we store within can never be taken from us no matter how life challenges us.

There are times when we are weighted down by misfortune or loss, but when we unpack all of the heaviness, we find our sacred ground supporting us and encouraging us to carry on.  We tend to take our personal gifts for granted, falsely believing anyone can have the same qualities.  This is simply not true.

As individuals, we singularly offer aspects of life with our own signature.  Our contributions may appear to be the same as someone else's, but there will be a component making it clearly one of a kind.  So shift our thoughts from reaching outside for validation, to polishing the jewels within.

 

Spending Coins

"Time is the coin of your life.

It is the only coin you have, 

and only you can determine

how it will be spent."

Carl Sandburg

 
If life is a coin, I have never hoarded nor have I squandered it.  I have held my coin in the palm of my hand with wonderment.  I would never simply toss a coin by the way side and I certainly pick up pennies wherever they may be found.

In some respects,  in my solitary life,  I didn't always use my time wisely.  Either I was over extended at work or collapsed in exhaustion from raising four children.  There was certainly time for reading, and perhaps this is where my adventures unfolded, offering me a sense of never ending time.

Now, time is likened to the backdrop of my life.  I move along freely but slowly, trying to stretch my coin as far as it will go.  I deeply appreciate the time I have been given and will value it until I pass.

Inner Maps Lead

maps

"there is no map.

you gotta write your own.

you gotta carve your own.

you gotta sweat, cry, grieve,

laugh, and love your own.

and when you're all done,

that's all that will have mattered."

terri st. cloud

Bone Sigh Arts

Life would have been so much easier if we had truly listened to our first grade teacher who repeatedly exclaimed, "Do not look at your neighbor's paper!"  How many years have we been trying to duplicate the success of others, rather than creating our own?  In the hopes of fitting in we have hidden our personal strengths and welcomed a variety of  masks to hide behind.

When I span across the years stretching behind me, I cannot remember voices telling me to journey inward to discover the original gifts waiting to be brought into the world.  There was pressure to conform, to not draw attention to one's self, and to model the behavior of others.

Life appeared to have been so much easier for others, we yearned for perfection that never arrived.  When life brought challenge to shape us, we resented the difficulty and perceived our losses to be  failures.  There had not been coaches cheering individuality forward nor mentors chanting, "You are so worthy.  You are valuable!"

At differing stages, we each receive a small nugget of hope, nudging us back inside of our lovely selves.  The past repression has facilitated far too much damage, so in desperation, we find the courage to discover who we truly were meant to be.

When we embrace our true nature and live in connection with all there is, we are well equipped to move forward in our lives being the best artist, musician, gardener, official, or public speaker.  All of these things are labels, and our courage is found in the underlying code of ethics we have chosen to follow, no matter what we choose to do.

We plague ourselves with the question, "What am I supposed to be or do?"  The answer is first and foremost be aligned with the body, mind, and spirit, and then pursue whatever draws our attention or what we yearn to do.  It is never easy, and our maps encounter detours, but if we stay true to our inner nature, our inner map will lead us to greener pastures.

Simply Aware

"Normal day, let me be 

aware of the treasure

you are."

Mary Jean Irion

Blessings often arrive on very regular days.  Days where we are caught in our routine, but not distracted by special events or visits.  A normal day offers us a back drop where we can go about our business on automatic pilot.  When we are surrounded by the mundane, we are more easily notice something out of sequence.

A normal day can unfold into a treasure.  It can offer us a natural pause just as a hawk flies above in the sky.  As we perform our daily chores, we may uncover a keepsake that had gone missing months before.  While lingering over reading material, we can discover a missing link we didn't know we were looking for.  As we take a break, we might even become ignited by an insight.  

Blessings from a regular day may even be more subtle, like  the fragrance of lilacs or the opening of  peonies.  While washing the dishes we may catch sight of a hummingbird outside of the window.  If we sit outside even for a moment, we can receive the warm embrace of the sun. 

Too easily, we take for granted the beauty surrounding us no matter where we happen to be.  If trapped at an office desk, relax for a moment just observing co-workers ... body posture, attitude, facial expression or mannerisms.  When we deliberately pay attention, we may discover small things we have never noticed before.  

Awareness:  it is the willingness to slow down; it is the open mind coming across something different without judgment;  it is seeing a bigger picture; and it is the opportunity for compassion.  Awareness is not just for defensive posturing; it is not just for parenting; and it is not for particular segments of life.  The state of awareness is for every moment which allows us the ability to shift and change in subtle ways.  Being a participant in our lives doesn't mean engaging singularly with the voice.  To participate fully, one is simply aware.

Swept Away

"A great deal of psychological stress comes from the rush and hurry of a turbulent mind, which jumps recklessly to unwarranted conclusions, rushes to judgments, and often is going too fast to see events and people as they truly are.  Such a mind keeps the body under continual tension." Eknath Easwaran


The sand is massaging the bottom of my feet as I wait for the next gentle wave to come rolling in.  Softly, the water washes over my toes, progressing up to my ankles.  It is a cooling and calming experience.  As I wade a little deeper, I begin to feel the pull of the current, beckoning me into deeper waters.  Upon submerging my body, I feel buoyancy lifting me up.  As I drift farther out, however, the waves become stronger creating a sense of fear inside of me.  I turn and look at the shore, and my view is distorted, nothing seems the same.  I end my folly, turning to swim back to the shore with gentle lapping water.

This is how we are lulled into the rushed and hurried mind.  We slowly enter with imagination and wonderment, only to be pulled further into the depths of a situation.  Before we know it, stress is weighing us down and distorting our view.  It is at this point we need to take affirmative action to restore us to calm.

When we pace our lovely selves, rather than getting caught up in activity, we will accomplish more with a more accurate assessment of what presents before us. We can build momentum  so we can engulf the situation with strength and discernment without being swallowed whole.

Our bodies supply us with an adrenaline rush when needed, but it is dangerous to maintain this additional energy for every day living.  It will more or less strip our gears.  We will become totally depleted with a great deal of restoration waiting.  The ability to pause, to pace, to slowly enter deep water, allows us not to be swept away.

Resistance As A Habit

"Strong beliefs actually equal resistance

to new ideas, change, and expansion."

Tina Zion

Resistance is closely entwined with fear and insecurities.  Very few of us go through change in fluid motion.  Even when we want to embrace something new, we may block ourselves from moving forward.  The unknown can be more frightening to us than staying in the midst of known discomfort.

When we recognize we are being resistant, we can ask if there is a healthy reason to do so or if the illusion of fear is boxing us in.  It is vitally important to trust our intuition, but we must also be careful not to be reacting in a learned formed of behavior.

Throughout our life,  change may have meant loss or grieving.  If we were expanding, we may not have had enough information so our nature created this hesitancy as a precursor to change.  So again, it is important to determine if we are simply reacting or authentically acting to unknown situations.

By requiring more information or seeking more research, we may grow more knowledgeable about the choices we make.  If we slow our movement down, we will have more space to examine what all is involved and avoid becoming overwhelmed.  

It is not only our mind that reacts automatically, but our bodies as well.  We may sweat profusely, become very cold,  feel like ground glass is in our belly or experience shards of pain in our limbs.  So if in truth we are being triggered, all of our senses shift into high gear.

Breathe slowly, secure appropriate personal space, and ask questions of ourselves to help discern what is best for us.  Impulsive decisions can be just as harmful as automatic resistance.  If we truly know and understand our nature or remain aware of our patterns, we will willingly embrace new ideas or  propel ourselves forward more smoothly.

Love Everlasting

"We are born countless times; it is possible each being has been our parent at one time or another.  Therefore, it is likely all beings in the universe have familial connections."  Dalai Lama the 14th



The projection of where we dwell between life times is even more captivating than reincarnation in itself.  Grasping the concept of living numerous lives, leads us to questions regarding the interlude either adjusting to death from our last life or preparation for our next life.

Michael Newton wrote JOURNEY OF SOULS in 1994.  If an open mind is kept through the reading of this book, the mind will be filled with possibilities about the extent of a spiritual life.  This book was so well received,  Michael Newton wrote DESTINY OF SOULS in 2000.  It is filled with additional resources to further support his understandings of our souls.

FLIPSIDE is written in 2011 by Richard Martini and addresses much of Michael Newton's theories.  He addresses the constant presence of spirit guides and a council of wise ones who help us determine the impact of our life experience.  Both writers stress there is no judgment of right or wrong choices, but rather the importance of the chosen actions.

These books are of great value to me.  They have reinforced the concept of oneness; and therefore, the necessity of loving treatment towards all.  They easily demonstrate how our personal actions effect the world as well.

By reading these books, the fear of death is replaced with a concept of a never ending spiritual relationship to our soul and to the souls of others connected with the Divine.  These authors do an exceptional job of painting a back drop to what truly might be ... love everlasting.

Gracefully Love Through Time

"The similarities that I am speaking of here are not related to belief, spiritual lineage, or dogma.  Indeed, many spiritual traditions are in complete opposition to each other on fundamental points of dogma.  In spite of these differences, there are striking commonalities in regards to the methods these mystical, yogic, and shamanic disciplines employ to enter the numinous.  And the alteration of perceived time ~ whether attained through meditative trance, contemplative prayer, drumming or chanting ~ is central to all these traditions."  Tom Kenyon

***Numinous:  Carl Jung's term for the light filled realms of being.



From the very basic day dreaming to the in-depth experience of trance, we adjust our experience in time.  In daily living, we notice how time either speeds up or drags slowly.  If we are absorbed in a favorite activity, we may feel like a short while has gently passed,  when in reality, a few hours have drifted by.  Conversely, when we are engaged in something unpleasant, time seemingly drags on forever, but not in reality.  If time is an illusion, it can be altered.

We can read documentation referring to the altering of time, from mystics or shamans; but until we experience this on our own, we will not fully grasp the realms of light in which one enters.    They are all leading to a deep connection with the Divine.   We create this relationship with the Divine to develop a deeper understanding to all lessons coming our way.    The vehicles delivering a person to a space out of time are numerous, such as:  chanting, praying, or drumming.  A spiritual connection provides support and perspectives to gracefully love our way through life.

The Quest or The Find

"You can't always get what you want,

but if you try sometimes,

you might find

you get what you need."

Mick Jagger & Keith Richards

Children are gifted with items carefully chosen, but they end up playing with the boxes.  Adults will seek objects with obsession, and when finally found, a new item moves to the top of the list.  

Searching for something might be more fun that actually obtaining it.  I shopped specifically for a basic navy blue turtleneck tunic for two years, before finding the perfect one.  I applauded my restraint, loved the new find, but truly missed the hunt for the sweater.   Shopping had lost some of its fun, until I decided I needed a particular pair of shoes.  

Over a week, I will make a list of items I need from the store.  When I acquire the objects on my list, check out, and walk to my car. Invariably, I will have forgotten the item I most needed! I immediately begin a new list of things.  

   

While my search for objects may be prolonged, I am willing to not settle, but to await the perfect find.  This makes me wonder which I enjoy more ... the quest or the find?  If I am willing to forgo an object for two years, I must have some level of sincerity of obtaining the need or desire.  

Using this as a template, I realize I am consistent with my spiritual quest as well.  I have been a seeker for as long as I can remember, gathering eclectic information along the way, and never deterred from my search.  Nuggets of information sprinkled along the way, nurture me in a way I both desire and want to keep moving forward.

Seeking The Good

"When you put the other person's welfare foremost every day, no matter how strong the opposing tide inside, you discover after a while that you can love a little more today than you did yesterday."  Eknath Easwaran 

Unkind years of experience may encourage our desire to never be hurt again. We strengthen our armor, hide behind barriers, and keep our cards close to our chests.   This approach may lower our risk of exposure, but ultimately, it blocks out reward along with challenge.

After numerous experiences of having our heart wounded, indeed, we do need to set boundaries. When we block ourselves completely out, however, we may be successful in decreasing elements of pain, but we are also preventing joy.  The pain we will continue to experience will be caused by isolation, the lack of human compassion, and support.

When we are being challenged in relationship, we monitor a person's behavior: words carelessly spoken, selfish action, and evidence of human flaws.  This of course adds to our resentment and it distances us farther.  We do not take into consideration, the person we are monitoring may well be aware of our actions and is simply reacting in his or her own fear.

We gain more ground if we extend understanding to the person we judge.  There is no need to tolerate abuse of any kind, but when we  can feel compassion for a person, our love deepens.  The other person may feel more secure by a response of love, and therefore, change his or her behavior as well.  

If we use our energy through the eyes of love rather than squinting through the eyes of selective choice, we can remain a loving person.  Our personal action of responding with love increases our ability to remain balanced rather than sucked down into drama.  

Our hearts continue to crack open, yes, but we also become stronger once we overcome our resistance to withdraw.  With healthy boundaries, we can navigate through life seeking the good in people with love growing deeper with each and every passing day.  

Look The Other Way

"Remember, a real decision is measured

by the fact that you've taken action.

If there is no action,

you have not truly decided."

Anthony Robbins

We my wake up in the morning with a brilliant idea, but if we do not capture it within minutes, it will simply float away.  Each human being is gifted with insight. Typical of human beings, we pay attention just enough to experience the radiance of an idea. Then we do not take action.  Even if we retain the message for a while, it is entirely too easy to allow ego to talk ourselves out of it.

At the risk of insulting intelligence, I choose to use the example of pancakes.  I dearly love pancakes and never make them.  The breakfast cafe that offered, in my opinion, the very best, happened to close.  For months now, I have been telling myself to put an end to this craving and just make some.  Unfortunately, the craving continues as I have had no follow through.  When I finally give my self permission to indulge, I have neglected to buy ingredients or there is no syrup.  If I had simply attended to this desire within a reasonable time, my need would have been met and my energy would be used elsewhere.

We become preoccupied by things we 'need' to do, but we allow pressure to build with our resistance.  If we know we should not be doing something, then  don't do it.  End of story.  Instead, we obsess for months at a time, distracting us from meeting real needs.  What are we really resisting?  Is it  the pancake or underlying issues?  An answer is always obvious, but we choose to look the other way.

To Speak Our Truth

"The need to clarify, explain, or justify oneself in personal relationships is always self-serving.

What's important, is knowing the truth about why you felt the need, because it often points to insecurities that could be dealt with in more effective ways."   THE UNIVERSE

We all have defense mechanisms, so the focus settles on  why and when we use them.  Words spoken should be our truths with the ability to stand alone without unnecessary follow up.  As humans, we have insecurities and when challenged, we use additional rhetoric to defend our statements.  

We all do this and there is no shame.  We can create a healthier habit, however, by boosting perception of ourselves.  When we choose to express values or thoughts, remember everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  If we speak our truth, we will either reinforce our belief or we will be challenged to open ourselves to a broader scope.  

We feel an impulse to fill the air with words when we are feeling the need to convince someone.  Make a statement and let it stand on its own.  If we remain quiet and listen, we discover no words are needed at all.  The connection to our inner spirit needs to be stronger than our projected relationship to another person. 

Learn to state a truth and allow it to represent itself.  A simple example is using the word 'no'.  At first it is difficult to say no without a paragraph of reasons defending our decision.  With practice, we begin to decline with grace without further explanation.  Eventually, we will not even use the word 'no' as we will not as easily engage in things we honestly do not want to do. (Meaning, do not say 'yes' in the beginning!)

Every person has an opinion and although we may or may not agree, respect should be offered to both sides.  When we are comfortable with our own thoughts, we are more likely to be open to the opinions of others.  We are not required to condone or support, but to simply listen. We can agree to disagree.

Choose to detach from your self in a given situation whether it is a personal exchange or at work.  Pretend to be sitting on your own shoulder and observe who it is who challenges you.  It is easily determined when we listen to how we exchange words with others.  When do we get really wordy?  Who is it we speak directly to focusing on subject without giving a pitch?  Our insides warn us as well ... discomfort in belly, mind scatter, impulsive decision making, and straying from the facts.

  

Opposites Create Catalyst

"God turns you from one feeling to an other,

And teaches by the means of opposites,

So that you will have two wings to fly,

not one."

Rumi

In my darkness, I could feel the curtain of life closing out the brilliant light. The heaviness of my thoughts were weighing heavily upon my heart.   As I journeyed towards withdrawal, I came across THE ENDLESS PRACTICE by Mark Nepo.  As an after thought, I grabbed this new collection which propelled me back into the light.

THE ENDLESS PRACTICE states "The simplest and bravest way to counter the plight of disheartenment is to move toward what is precious."  When I moved my focus to my favorite memories, I found myself feeling better.  As my heart began to flourish with heartening thoughts,  my body reawakened to the goodness in my life.

These two conflicting thoughts of being disheartened or heartened rubbed together to create a catalyst for higher ground.  Dark thoughts will always come and go, but when we remember to let them pass and return to appreciation, our experiences will be brief and less dramatic.

The challenge is to remember to make the shift from one to the other.  This demands awareness, to constantly monitor the choices we make or where we place our focus.  Too easily we forget we are not Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz falling down the rabbit hole.  We can edit the film unfolding in our minds at will.  When we remain in the positive role as the film maker, making cuts with a skilled hand,  we are increasingly balanced leaning towards the land of joy.

Helping Can Be This Simple

"A cup that is already full cannot have more added to it.  In order to receive the further good to which we are entitled, we must give of that which we have."  Margaret Becker


We are in a position to help others no matter what our state of living happens to be.  A gentleman asked a homeless person what he could do to help him.  The homeless man immediately stuck out his hand, asking for a hand shake.  Helping can be this simple.

We may not be able to impact the lives devastated by acts of nature or war, but if we take inventory of our blessings, there is always something that can be shared.  The simplicity of de-cluttering can create a mountain of benefit.  Down sizing a pantry or passing on clothing can be a true gift.  We can donate toys or books that are no longer used.  As we change the size of our bed, we can give away the other sized linens.   What we consider to be outdated, just might be a welcomed blessing to someone else.

Projecting an eye to eye smile can brighten any one's day.  Just a brief nod of the head in recognition of the other person's presence, can increase self-esteem.  When we freely extend kindness of any shape or form,  it simultaneously makes us feel better as well.  Give and you, too, shall receive.

Explore More Deeply

"This body is not me.  It is the house in which I live.  Since I don't identify myself with my body, I don't associate other people very much with their physical appearance either.  The more we dwell upon the physical appearance and age of others, the more we are conscious of our own appearance and age.  We should be concerned less about these details of packaging and concerned more with the contents.  Gradually, as we become more and more spiritually aware, we will be looking straight into people's eyes and deep into their souls."  Eknath Easwaran's THOUGHT FOR THE DAY



Spiritual transition moves us from being focused on material or external things to the exploration of authentic skills and passionate goals.  The bud of the flower that is to bloom is waiting within each of us.  Once it is nurtured through self-discovery, the petals unfold with wonder and joy.  

As we identify with our spirit, we will begin to recognize the spirit residing within others.  We will pay less attention to body language, designer clothes, and labels.  Our eyes will engage with the eyes of others as though they were windows into their souls.

Our inner light attracts the light of others.  We learn to engage in more meaningful conversations which impacts our actions in every day of our lives.   As we are secure in our own transition, we are less likely to judge others.   Our compassion can be felt by others, encouraging them to explore deeper into their true being.

Spiritual transition moves us to the beauty inside of each of us which is more dependable and inspiring than physical beauty on the outside.  As we relax into our spiritual identity, we can navigate our daily lives with more joy, compassion, and understanding.

Resonating Compliments

"I am not pretty.

I am not beautiful.

I am as radiant as the sun."

Suzanne Collins

Compliments are difficult to accept as well as the unwanted attention drawn by the comment.  Questioning motive may be our first response.  We also consider the source ... integrity, sincerity, or seasoned elder.  There are just some words that do not feel comfortable wearing.

If we are told we are pretty, we may feel as though it is of face value and not registering our true gifts or skills.  We more readily embrace kind words addressing our deeper qualities or accomplishments.  Recognition that resonates within, can be deeply appreciated.

It is interesting to recall exactly which compliments we hold dear.  Think just for a moment, letting a favorite pop up into our memory.  Here are my two favorites.

1.  I was attending a seminar by Joan Borysenko and during a break, two young women approached me hesitantly.  "You were at the Marianne Williamson lecture weren't you?"   I immediately remembered the presentation, but had no idea who these two people were.  "Yes," I replied.  "Did we meet there?"  Then the compliment unfolded ... "No, but we remember seeing a bright light in you and could feel your energy.  We recognized it again, today."

2.  I was boarding an airplane.  A gentleman stopped me saying, "What is it about you?

You are just so bright!"  I was wearing a blue muslin shirt and gray linen pants.  I turned and simply said, "Thank you!"  Obviously confused about what he was not really seeing, but feeling, he pressed on by saying, "I can't put my finger on it.  There is just something drawing my attention to you!"  

The above mentioned compliments will always stand out in my mind, as I humbly accepted them.  They were not about any materialistic affluence, but based upon who I was inside and what I was projecting out into the world.   Both compliments targeted my inner strength, validating the light I have chosen to be.

Develop Incredible Strength

"It's only when you resist looking at something 

because it frightens you that it becomes frightening."

Eckhart Tolle

We adjust our eye site to regulate what we can emotionally handle.  It seems easier to ignore the poor behavior of our child or overlook the insensitivity of our mate.  Our altered vision reduces the amount we choose to see.  We minimize what is right before us so we can avoid confrontation.

We already may not feel like we have voice or any sense of control, so we might feel defeated before addressing any problem. We are more willing to take additional embarrassment or emotional pain rather than dig beneath the surface exposing the origin of the problem.

Once uncovered, our problems require even more strength which tempts us to remain in denial.  We lie to ourselves and to others.  Anger churns in our bellies, we lash out at innocent ones, and we withdraw further into avoidance.  We begin to tell ourselves we are the root of the problem as this seems emotionally more acceptable than believing we are not being respected.  We form stories around our problems to justify the actions of others.  

There comes a point in time we can no longer carry this burden of pain.  Our deteriorating emotional state gives way to physical health issues.  We may become so depressed, we are no longer capable of functioning.  

The question is, how would life be different if we took all of the energy used with denial or avoidance, and used it to face a problem head on?  A frightening thought, but a healthier response leading to some level of resolution.  At least we would have a sense of self-respect for using our voice and for speaking out.   

Begin with smaller battles and work up to addressing life changing issues.  Reach out to local resources or trusted friends.  Actually, it is not a weakness to ask for help.  It is the beginning of developing incredible strength.

Nocturnal Excursion

"Learn to reverence night and to put away vulgar fear of it, for, with the banishment of night from the experience of man, there vanishes as well a religious emotion, a poetic mood, which gives depth to the adventure of humanity."

IN PRAISE OF DARKNESS;
Henry Beston on How the Beauty of the Night Nourishes the Human Spirit



As I glance back over my life, some the most savored memories are of viewing the stars in the night time sky.  From earliest childhood memories to just a few evenings ago, I can easily slide into pockets of comfort connecting with the stars.  The evening sky has been a constant in my life, easily approachable from no matter where I may be.  It is always there willing to comfort me.

The stars can be a silent witness as we share our tales of woe or a brilliant  twinkling to mesmerize us into quite a state of nothingness.  We are lulled into a suspension from the daily grind or nightly fears.  We are elevated from the human experience into a lofty state of mind.

With the back drop of the blue-black sky, the stars project radiance inviting us to bridge the gap between our worlds.  When we follow the light path up into the sky, time loses all boundaries.  Our visit with the stars is impossible to define.  It is similar to stepping behind a veil into another realm.

When I am startled by my audible sigh, I realize I have returned to my time and space.  The nocturnal excursions have renewed my spirit, filled me with joy, and revitalized my energy.  As I turn to my journal to record the recent adventure, there are no words to accurately describe the meaning behind these radiant lights shining in our sky.   It is impossible to share the words of wisdom filling my awareness like stardust sprinkled from the sky.  Perhaps, this is what triggers my audible sigh.

Goodness Awaits

"When you feel resistance to change, just be present with it.  Grieve what's no longer going to be there.  That's the only way to usher all the good stuff in.  You have to feel it and move forward to give birth to the new thing.  Remember that when the good stuff comes in, it brings in joy.  And joy can flush out the loneliness, the fear, and the other 'stuff' that is no longer serving you."

Christiane Northrup


Incredibly fast or ridiculously slow, change enters our lives.  Either way, the ability to let go and graciously receive set the tempo.  If we cling to the old because it is familiar, we are blocking the path to in coming opportunities. These events waiting to unfold in our lives can bring us joy if we simply step through our fear of change.

We may dream of a different life or perfect a vision board of our desires, but if we are not willing to step into the unknown, to come out of our safety, change will not arrive in a timely fashion.  We must do our part by moving from one point to another.  By remaining stationary, we have barred the door from opening.

Change can pounce on us unexpectedly, forcing us to move forward even when we are ill prepared.  There still needs to be follow through on our part to keep propelling movement forward.  We often get stuck in our confusion or fear.  We are prompted to move out of our own way.

When we previously know the outcome to change, it is still difficult to do the work.  When we are totally clueless about where change is leading, we may dig our feet into resistance.  When we are patient with ourselves, trusting joy will eventually arrive, we can transition at a better pace.  We shift our focus from what is being taken to what is waiting for our arrival.  We have the strength to carry on, as goodness awaits.

Anam Cara, Soul Friend

"In Celtic spiritual traditions, it is believed that the soul radiates all about the physical body, what some refer to as an aura.  When you connect with another person and then become completely open and trusting with that individual, your two souls begin to flow together.  Should such a deep bond be truly formed, it is said you have found your Anam Cara or Soul Friend.

John O'Donohue



Soul Friends bless my life.  They are a bright light attracting my attention, trust, and compassion.  There is an absence of judgment which has been replaced by encouragement, wisdom, and hope.  These soul friends have softly offered guidance, demonstrated passions, and shared  personal stories, (the unedited manuscripts).

Soul friends are those individuals whose presence seems to have existed forever.  It is a heart connection that expands beyond time, ancestry, and unearthly realms.  Connecting our gazes,  there is no need for verbal communication.  There is an exchange of simple knowing that is immediately understood.  Even the physical hug speaks volumes to the heart.

The term 'sister of my heart' is how I have labeled these spiritual relationships in the past and  soul friend strikes another chord.  Unless we open ourselves to others, we will not experience this union.  It takes trust, a willingness to run the risk of judgment, and vulnerability.  Avoiding cultural distraction, we focus on the beauty within and the peace if offers.  

Unpreventable Heartbreak

"Heartbreak is unpreventable;

the natural caring for people and things

over which we have no control ... "

David Whyte

Collapsing into the chair, I feel my heart shrinking and my stomach clenching to the point of nausea.  A tightness grows within my chest and my body feels particularly heavy.  It is difficult to swallow and when my head drops, I feel the tears escaping across my cheeks.  I am simply heartbroken, once again.

Heartbreak comes in many shapes and sizes.  Whether our life is grand or inconsequential, we will discover ourselves to be impacted.  We are heartbroken by the actions of others, so we have zero control for prevention.  We will find ourselves going through stages of denial or feelings of unworthiness; and sometimes escalating towards anger, bitterness and depression.

In time, we pretend for the sake of others displaying bravery or courage.  We may focus on comforting others to avoid our own loss.  We will make promises to ourselves, but eventually they will fall away.

The healthiest response is to look at our options triggered by this charge.  We can choose both our emotional and physical responses.  We make the decision of how long we want to wallow or be victimized.  When we begin to take steps forward, the rewards of the heartbreak surface.  We eventually will be thankful for the experience.  Finally, we begin to forgive for our own sake, to bring closure to ourselves, and to release the heaviness of heartbreak.

Verbiage, Interpretation, and Intention

"We don't cross into the 'sphere of rebirth'

by power but by descent,

by being swallowed."

Sue Monk Kidd

The word surrender sounds threatening to me.  It indicates the act of giving up  control or giving away personal power.  In some situations this might be spot on, but not in the sense of healthy union. In healthy union, one opens themselves with vulnerability acknowledging the risk.  It is a willingness to submerge the self with art, meditation or nature, but also to maintain space for the self.

We can open ourselves to any situation, giving completely, and still have the sense of self.  The idea is to blend into or to experience deeply, but not lose our identity.  We can broaden our identity by embracing an idea or person completely, but not at the cost of self.

It really is a matter of verbiage, interpretation and intention.  The concept of being swallowed is not pleasant to me.  Dread that I will be entirely digested or spit out is not something I want to experience.  I am willing to symbolically dive into darkness or the flow of life, while releasing control; but I also know I have freedom of choice.  I am cognizant of being asked to change, but not to become a pawn under a leader's direction.

Spiritually speaking, I welcome guidance and desire to improve, but I am also aware of the intention to enhance who I am and not literally become some clone.  We each have our own life to live and develop through interaction with others, but to maintain our authentic sense of soul.

Humble Home

"The power of finding beauty in the humblest things

makes home happy and life lovely."

Louisa May Alcott

Stepping through the french doors onto the patio, awakens my senses and releases all tangles in my mind.  I am immediately surrounded by peace and calm. Flowers of all shapes, colors, and fragrances, grace our back deck.

This area becomes my sanctuary.  It is filled with flowers, birds, baby bunnies and my lovely Bella.  I find myself sitting for great lengths of time in deep appreciation for these blessings of nature.  My heart becomes filled with love, yearning to spill these feelings into some creative action.  I find myself sketching, journaling, or reading in the stillness of the secluded space.

In this flowering arena, my inner self is drawn to come out and play.  My thoughts are filled with wisdom and my awareness of the greater picture deepens.  Restraints dissolve so perfect union with all there is feels complete.  My eyes gently close as my spirit is free to soar.  The veils gently open and I am finally home.

Discrepancy in the Midst

"Observe the space between your thoughts,

then observe the observer."

Hamilton Boudreaux

Discrepancy is prevalent in our personal lives, but we seldom monitor our lovely selves often enough to acknowledge it.  We tell ourselves one thing, while in reality we are exerting something quite different.  We rationalize our actions to support our misdeeds, believing we are righteous.

We convince ourselves we are caring and loving beings, but this may only be true  in some situations. We may be awesome employers, but mediocre parents.  Although an exemplary leader, we might be rude to those who serve us in restaurants, hotels, or office support.

When we find our inner conversation, "I don't have time," allow a pause to follow.  Then observe a larger picture of the self.  Sincerely, I may not have the time for a favor in this moment, but when we expand our thinking, we may have another way of assisting.  Instead of using a negative response, we might say, "No, I am not available to accept, but what else might I do to help?"  There may be other ways to assist someone other than the initial request.

In conversation, if we find our chests tightening or our stomach clenching, these may be signals of discrepancy.  We may feel resistance for no apparent reason or perhaps even fear.  We are called to respect our own boundaries, but we can use our creativity in support of others.

Definitely, we are not to take on overwhelming responsibilities we have no interest in.  To remain balanced, we must choose carefully.  Once we choose, however, pause, and observe if our decision is in alignment with who we really are.

Caretakers of the Earth

"I want an earth that is healthy,

a world at peace, and a heart filled with love."

Eknath Easwaran

WORDS TO LIVE BY

Volcanoes erupting, earthquakes, and climate change is this Mother Nature's way of saying, "Enough!"  Yet we carelessly move forward digging deeper into her foundation, disrupting the natural order.  Contaminated water, mistreatment of animals and the continued extinction of plant life, reflect the negligence of the caretakers of our earth.

We view the scarcity of water in California, but do we initiate anything to better preserve our own?  It seems as long as our water faucets continue to work, we remain in a false sense of comfort.

Isn't it awful what's happening there, as we observe from our comfortable chairs.  We need to realize that violence is happening everywhere whether we see it or not.  There are children in our own communities who sleep in cars with empty bellies, and elders who are being abused.

If we look at all of the problems, it can be overwhelming, but if we survey what we can do in our own community, it will make a difference.  Through example we gather interest of others wanting to help, but not knowing what to do.  When we work together combining our individual skills, progress will begin.  We must recapture the spirit of being caretakers of this beautiful earth.

Shift Our Moods

"Sometimes we need someone to simply be there.

Not to fix anything or to do anything in particular, but 

just to let us feel that we are cared for and supported."

UNKNOWN

Listening can be one of the best forms of medicine.  Allowing a person to vent or cry or simply sigh, can make a tremendous difference in maintaining alignment with our body, mind, and soul. Reaching out can be excruciating.  We fear judgment or the appearance of weakness, when actually, a true friend welcomes the opportunity to be a silent presence.

We stubbornly forget others have the same range of feelings we experience.  We few them as being so together they could never understand our need.  Quite the contrary is true.  Our friends view us as strong and do not necessarily see what we hide within ourselves.  They are unable to guess when we desire a hug or patient ear.  When we build the courage to express our need, our friend is happy to be chosen.  They actually feel good to be a witness even if no words are exchanged.

The same is true for laughter.  If we can meet with someone and share laughter, our mood can elevate tremendously.  Taking the time for a quick coffee or drink, can be time well invested.  If we notice a person who seems to be silently struggling, there is no need to be invasive; however, one can always gently remind them they are not alone.

Giving and receiving both laughter and listening are free and easy.  We can impact the day of a stranger or co-worker.  To expand our awareness allows room for the sun to shine inside and shift our moods to be shared with others.